


Fluffy School Days

by SonicoSenpai



Series: Fluffy School Days [1]
Category: DRAMAtical Murder - All Media Types, Lamento -BEYOND THE VOID-
Genre: Accidental Orgasm, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Teenagers, Awkward Crush, Awkward Romance, Awkwardness, Based on the Drama CD, Because my last attempt at cute failed miserably, Cat Ears, Confusion, Consensual Underage Sex, Consensual bondage, Cute, Dubcon Kissing, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Fumbling, Kissing in the woods, M/M, Making Out, Messing around in class, Misunderstandings, Neko versions of DMMD characters, Night Classes, Non-Consensual Touching, Nosy Parents, PE class, Physical Education, Really I'm going to aim for cute this time for reals, Romantic Fluff, Sex talk with kids, Sexual exploration, Showers, Tail Play, Tail Sex, Tails, Teasing, Teen Angst, Teen Crush, Teen Romance, Teen Years, Teenage Dorks, Teenage Drama, Teenagers, awkward conversations with parental units, awkward teenagers, because i can't help myself, very straightforward flirting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-21
Updated: 2018-09-11
Packaged: 2019-06-30 12:11:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 10
Words: 50,968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15751413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SonicoSenpai/pseuds/SonicoSenpai
Summary: This universe is based on Sisa after the Void, the universe in which both Shui and Leaks are still alive and well. This fanfic is based on the AU that is the Snow White Drama CD if you know it, so many characters are cute teenagers. So yes, underage. But YES. I want to try CONSENSUAL OMFG.There will still probably be some sex in it because I can't seem to not write anything without sex. I'm keeping the rating at mature (for language and because I plan to add the sex) until appropriate. Seriously, though, I'll try to keep it mostly consensual--for Sisa, anyway.Really. I'll try for fluffy. I need a fluffy story, and I totally fucked the other fluffy School Days story over as far as fluff goes. I'll keep that going, too, but I want one that's just cute and light. Seriously. This is getting way too serious. :)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> All characters belong to Nitro+Chiral. Lamento Beyond the Void. If you haven't heard the Snow White Drama CD or read the translation, it's super cute and fluffy. Buy it, listen to it, and love it. I'm not going to confess how often I listen to it. It cheers me up. Seriously.

**Konoe** :

I’m a transfer student at this new school. I just moved here in from the village of Karou. I got my notice late, stating that after the disappearance of the Void, all kittens would be required to receive an education. My father is a famous musician, and he was offered a position as a music teacher. He’s thrilled to be here. He was offered a two-bedroom apartment on campus, and we moved this afternoon, the day the term started, meaning I missed the first day of class.

Many students already know each other from the city—and it’s a big city, Ransen. It’s the biggest city I’ve ever seen. I’m glad the school is located in the surrounding forest outside the city— _relieved_ , in fact. It’s much quieter out here—so many fewer cats. I’d never seen as many cats than I had in the big city of Ransen. I was lost my dad there twice!

My home village of Karou is small—fewer than 50 cats remain and food is still scarce but it’s coming back. And it’s small in ways I didn’t realize before arriving here. I’ve actually never left my hometown before today. I am apparently a _small_ breed of cat, compared to everyone else. I’m not as tall as Dad yet—I’m sixteen and still growing, of course. (He’s done his best to teach me as a single parent since Mom died of the Sickness when I was young—but he’s had to travel to make ends meet over the past years. I’m glad to be living with him for now. Here, I even have my own room _and_ my own bathroom.) Everything is sized for larger creatures—even my bed is _huge_ —it’s so weird—until I see them out of the window, walking around. I feel so small, like a little kid again.

At first, I wonder if I’m much younger than they are. Perhaps I’m mistaken and they _aren’t_ students. But they can’t _all_ be teachers—a school can’t possibly have this many teachers. Then it occurs to me, perhaps I’m just a small breed? I ask Dad about it, and he answers honestly, as he always does.

“Well, Konoe, to tell you the truth, I’ve never really thought about it. I’m from Ransen originally. You get your size from your mother, like your good looks.” Of course, I blush when he says this. There isn’t anything special about the way I look. It must just be his fatherly pride. “I suppose she was smaller than me. And yes, Karou cats are known for being small yet fierce and fast. That description definitely fits your mother to a tee.”

He smiles warmly at her memory. “Why do you ask?”

“Everyone out there is so tall!”

“Ah, don’t let that stop you from shining, Konoe.”

Just as he says that—just as he says the word “shining”—I see a gigantic cat walk past the window, and he is the most _gorgeous_ thing I’ve ever seen! My heart starts thumping loudly in my ears, and it feels like my stomach is in my throat—and I’ve never felt like this before. He’s completely white—silver hair, pale skin, blue eyes. He has long white fur on his tail, and his tail looks bushy and full, much longer than mine. He’s walking on the path right outside our apartment, and if I were to guess, he’s probably about 75% bigger than me, if not twice my size. Also, his ears are strangely small and rounded. Mine are pointier and look much larger than that. They give him a slightly older look—he looks much more mature.

I have white fur, too—but mine looks like I’ve been dipped in caramel. I have light brown eyes that match the tips of my ears and tail—so boring—not shocking pale blue like this cat. He must be from somewhere foreign and exotic. I wonder if he is a student or a teacher. I can’t tell from here!

“Dad—how can you tell if who is a student and who is a teacher? There’s a cat out there bigger than you! He’s _got_ to be a teacher, right?” I’m disappointed because I want him to be closer to my age. I wish he'd be in my class, in fact.

Dad is organizing notes for his class tomorrow, and he looks up at me.

“Konoe, their uniforms. The teachers don’t wear uniforms. So if they are in uniforms, they are students. And you can’t judge a cat by their looks alone, you know. That will never get you anywhere. You'd miss out on the best people if you did that.”

“Ah! I don’t _believe_ it—Dad! He’s wearing a _uniform_ , Dad!” I say excitedly.

“Konoe, I don’t think I’ve _ever_ heard you excited about someone before—like _ever_. Who is this cat you’re talking about?”

Before I know it, Dad is right behind me, peeking out of the window with me, and I startle. Dad has always been able to do that. Actually, not just Dad, but  _any_ cat can sneak up on me. And I always startle! I quickly move away from the window.

“Ahh—I think I see who you mean. Is it that silver cat? He’s pretty handsome—I didn’t know you had a type, Konoe—no wonder you’ve never shown any interest in anyone else before! White cats are quite unusual, you know.”

“Dad, there are lots of other cats out there!” I say, completely flustered, backing away from the window. How did he know who I was looking at? What if he's one of Dad's students? _Shit_. I shouldn't have let my emotions get carried away.

“That is true, but none are quite that tall—and the only other one who is tall is not wearing a school uniform. Are you going to try to tell me I’m mistaken? I think I know my son better than that! Hey—wait a miute—is that—?” If I’m not mistaken, I think I see Dad standing on his tiptoes and leaning to the side, straining to see outside.

“What, Dad?  _What_?” I’m a little worried now.

“Oh—nothing—I just thought I saw someone I knew. But it couldn’t be that person. He’d never teach.” Something sounds a little strange in Dad’s voice. “You know, Konoe,” he turns to me, “you could just walk outside and introduce yourself. There’s nothing stopping you from doing just that. You should try living without regrets! You’re turning over a new leaf here!”

“Oh, no,” I say, feeling my ears burn. I could turn over many leaves and _never_ would that happen. “I’ll meet whoever is in class tomorrow. He looked very busy.”

“Are you sure? It’s easy to make friends.”

 _Sure, Dad, for a popular musician like you, it probably is,_ I think. 

And that is what happened yesterday. 

* * *

The next morning, Dad has to help me with my tie. The fall term has started, but we still have short-sleeved summer uniforms, complete with neckties. They feel very stiff to me. I’m used to wearing loose-fitting casual clothes, so this stiff uniform is very weird. The fall uniform has a vest _and_ a jacket—and I don’t know how I’m going to deal with that mess hanging in my closet. I have no idea how I’ll get changed into my PE clothes today! Dad tried to show me a dozen times how to tie the knot, but I still don’t get it, so he just shows me how to loosen it and tighten it instead.

“You look great, Konoe. Cute as hell. I’m _sure_ you’ll attract his attention.”

“Whose?” When I see him peering at me in the mirror, smiling, I blush. “Dad! _Stop_ it! He’s probably not even in my class anyway!”

“I’m just excited you’re even _interested_! This is the _first_ time something like this has happened! I can’t help it!” Dad is such a romantic. I leave the house in such a hurry I forget my bag, so I have to go back to get it, just to get away from his fawning.

Now, I’m being introduced to my new class, staring at the wall in the back of the room, since I’m too shy to look at the faces of the students in front of me. Dad suggested all I have to do is imagine my audience is naked. I asked, “Dad, this is _only_ a trick you use when you perform in front of difficult crowds, right? Please tell me this _isn’t_ a trick you use when you teach, is it?”

“Well, I haven’t taught any classes so far, and I haven’t seen my students yet. It all kind of depends on how intimidated I am feeling, doesn’t it?” Another sly smile makes me sorry I even asked. I really shouldn’t even be thinking about that now. It’s just _embarrassing_. _He_ is _embarrassing_.

I go through the motions. I’m Konoe of Karou, I’m new to the area, and I live on campus. My dad is the new music teacher, Shui-Sensei. I like sword-fighting and music. My favorite food is anything with kuims. Blah, blah, blah. I try to keep my ears pointed forward and my tail still, but it moves too much, giving away my nervousness.

“Welcome, Konoe, we’re glad to have you,” my teacher says. His name is Kaltz-Sensei. He seems very nice, but strangely subdued and sad. And he looks a little strange to me, but I can’t quite place exactly what is off about him, aside from his overly heavy dress. I mean, it’s summer, and he is dressed in heavy somber layers of black clothing, loaded with belts and buckles. Who needs that many buckles, anyway? But he seems friendly enough.

“Why don’t you take the desk in front of Asato, here?”

There’s a dark-skinned _black_ cat in the class! I’m stunned. I’ve never seen a black cat before. He is very lean and muscular, too—I wonder—is he from Kira? I nod a brief greeting, trying my best not to stare—but when I nod at him, I notice _he_ is staring at me—and I mean, _really_ staring at me—checking me out from the tips of my ears to the crooked tip of my tail. It’s _embarrassing_.

_I see. This is why Dad told me not to stare! It’s really uncomfortable and awkward!_

I take my seat and look down demurely, a little flustered by his attention. I try to ignore it and get to work. Settling in should do the trick and calm my nerves. I take out a pencil, an eraser, and my notebook, so I can get started. Unfortunately, I fumble my eraser over the right side of my desk—where I can’t reach it. I watch it fall at the feet of the student on my right.

I’m so embarrassed I could _die._ More than anything else, I _hate_ causing scenes. I am awkward around others—I’ve always felt this way. I don’t want to bother him for my eraser outright, but thankfully, the other student notices it when as it falls right away.

I realize suddenly that the cat to my right is huge—I mean— _gigantic,_  at least the size of the silver cat I saw yesterday afternoon and so much bigger when he’s so close to me—and when he leans down to pick it up, at first I think he might be wearing white gloves, but I realize, no, those are just his hands—he is just very pale—

Then my heart skips a beat.

Especially when his soft silver hair spills down over his shoulder, covering the arm picking up the eraser. It's long enough to nearly sweep across the floor. But he seems to be aware of its length and it doesn’t. His arm reaches easily across the aisle. But instead of putting the eraser back on my desk, which he could also easily do, he waits for me to hold out my hand, almost as if he wants to touch my fingers. 

And he does— _deliberately_ —brush my fingers.

“Here you go,” his voice purrs, low and soft—and his voice feels just like a touch in my ears, making my ears twitch and point directly in his direction.

My heart pounds audibly in my ears, and I think—even as flustered as I am—I give an audible gasp when his fingers brush mine. I’m so surprised by his touch that I drop the eraser on my desk but immediately catch it before it falls to the floor a second time.

“Huh—you’ve got surprisingly fast reflexes. I’ve heard that about Karou cats.”

I turn to look at his face, though I _know_ it’s a mistake—I know I will regret it. I am surprisingly bad at hiding my feelings. I just don’t have any experience with it. I’ve never spent time around cats other than Dad, and there is no need to hide what I feel from him. The silver cat’s face is surprisingly handsome up close. His pale blue eyes, staring at me so directly, he’s _gorgeous_. I feel my tail swishing behind me happily, and I try to control it and I can’t. I feel my ears start to heat up, I see his gaze lift from my eyes toward the top of my head, and his smile widens a little.

“Hmm. Cute.” I watch his hands move suddenly to brush the tip of my ears—just for a split second—before he pulls his hand back. _Shit_. He noticed my ears blush.

“I’m Rai. This is going to be a fun year.”

I turn to face front immediately, trying to pay attention to what is going on in class, and I’m finding it difficult. I also hear a low growl from behind me—but I don’t know what it is—was it someone’s stomach? It was very low.

But it wasn’t so low that Kaltz-Sensei doesn’t look up immediately, tilting his ears in my direction. But it wasn’t me. My ears flatten against my head. It takes a moment to figure out he is looking over my head at the black cat behind me.

“Asato-kun. Do you need something?”

“No.” A surprisingly gentle voice comes from directly behind me.

“Is there a problem?” The teacher is very gentle in his questioning but also very direct.

“No.” But then—I hear the same sound again.

“Do you need to excuse yourself for a moment?”

“May I sharpen my claws on the floor in here?”

“Asato, we discussed this yesterday. Excuse yourself if you need a moment.”

A deep sigh comes from behind me, and I hear a chair moving, and the black cat gets up and leaves the room. He does not turn around. He returns in about five minutes with a smile on his face and a much-improved attitude.

Kaltz’s lessons are easy—mostly review—the math I have seen before. However, the reading is new and challenging—and we are learning characters from the Two Canes as well.

I try to keep my eyes to myself, but every time I look to my right, the silver cat— _no, he has a name now,_ Rai—flicks his eyes toward me. He must have better eyesight than I do, which is also no surprise. I’m surprisingly lacking in visual acuity for a Ribika. It takes forever for me to get used to the dark—my night vision is terrible—the only thing I am good at is detecting motion.

And if he were just watching me it would be one thing. But he has a sort of smile or smirk on his face, too—almost like he expects me to be looking at him. Almost like he knows he’s attractive and he wants me to watch him, and it’s like he’s preening under my gaze.

It’s making me a little nervous, actually.

I’m relieved when the bell rings for lunch. I see his huge form stretch long and tall—it must be uncomfortable for him to sit in such a cramped chair for such a long time. He excuses himself with yet another sexy smile in my direction, and I try not to blush in response. I too stretch out and some of the pressure is relieved. I get a small tap on my shoulder, though—it’s Asato.

“You have a crooked tail,” he says. He’s nothing if not direct, and it’s a little weird to be so upfront about something so personal. Isn’t it? It’s actually not something I’m proud of, and I’m a little offended he would point it out so directly like this.

“So what?” I sound defensive.

“I’ve never seen a tail like yours before,” he stands up and comes around to my desk. His voice is still very soft, though. Perhaps he isn’t being mean—but then, why is he in my space like this? It feels so aggressive! “In fact, I’ve never really seen a cat like you, either.”

“What do you mean?” I ask. I feel myself start to bristle slightly. I don’t mean to, it just sort of happens. I don’t like cats intruding on my personal space so suddenly. I’m not used to it.

“Oh, your tail!” he exclaims as my fur starts standing on end.

Asato is _way_ taller when he’s standing over me like this. He reaches out and grabs my tail—which now bristles fully in his hands.

“Hey!” I protest. “What are you touching!?”

“It’s so pretty—and soft!”

 _What_ did he just say? Pretty? Is he complimenting me? But he's grabbing me like this? I'm so confused! I’m momentarily stunned, just sitting at my desk, staring at him—my fur completely bristled, my fangs bared, my claws drawn and dug into my desk.

“Oh, Konoe—you shouldn’t sharpen your nails at your desk. You’ll get in trouble. I did that yesterday and was reprimanded.” Asato says conspiratorially, and he continues stroking my tail—and he is working his claws toward the tip, which is even _more_ sensitive than where he is now.

“C-can you s-stop? P-please?” I stammer, withdrawing my claws and fangs. My fur is still fluffed up.

“What?” he asks, without stopping. “Stop what? You look upset.”

“I _am_!” I shout. “You just grabbed my tail out of the blue!”

“Oh—can you _feel_ this?”

“Can you feel _yours_?” I ask sharply, my voice strained.

“Of course—I just thought—”

“You thought _wrong_!” I grab my tail from his hands and pull, _hard_. It hurts my tail a little to yank it so suddenly and hard, but at the same time, I get immediate results. I also grab my bag at the same time, and leave the room, stalking down the hallway, walking back to the apartment to grab some lunch.

What is _wrong_ with that guy? I’m fuming—but mostly, I end up confused—and I need the fresh air—and some food. I need a little time alone to eat and recover before the second half of the day.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: non-con touching and groping, and nudity (they have PE, so showers).

After lunch, I’m feeling a lot more put together and refreshed. I realize I really haven’t been around this many other cats before and I don’t know what to expect. Both Rai and Asato interacting with me in completely different ways have put me off my game. Well, that's assuming I even have "a game."

First, Rai’s constant staring has me flustered. I don’t know if I " _like_ him" like him, or if I am just attracted to him. He is a beautiful cat, of course. But I really do not appreciate him _trying_ to fluster me during class on purpose, which is what I think he is trying to do. Because as I remember, each and every time I looked to my right, his eyes were on mine or trying to meet mine, and he had a smirk on his face, making me blush. And then his smile would broaden. I could see him watching my ears like he thought my response was funny. 

Then, if he weren’t bad enough, Asato grabs my tail. It’s true I can’t keep my tail still. I wouldn’t want to sit behind me in class, either. It was probably Kaltz-Sensei’s mistake to put me so close to the front row. If I were in the back, my tail’s constant movement wouldn’t bother anyone. Cats can’t help responding to movement. So maybe I was simply distracting Asato. He seems easily distracted and a little strange, too. I mean, what cat growls unprovoked in class or in abig group of cats? Come to think of it, what cat grabs another cat’s tail so openly, in front of others, either? I grew up mostly alone, and even _I_ know better! But who knows, maybe grabbing a cat’s tail has some other meaning in Kira.

I should probably just let it go. I’ll ask Dad about Kira when I finish classes today. For now, I’m off to PE, where I’ll have to figure out how to get out of this tie and back into it later. I’m a little nervous to change in front of everyone, but I’m sure I’ll do fine in class since I’m pretty fast. But _all_ the cats I’ve seen are bigger than me—there isn’t anyone else here with my stature. 

I walk into the locker room and see a teacher standing there—at least, he introduces himself as the coach. He seems pretty friendly.

“Hi, there. You must be Konoe, Shui-Sensei’s son. I was told to expect a new kitten from Karou, and that must be you. I’ve never met a Karou cat before, and I’m pleased to have you in my class. I’m Coach Mizuki. Your locker is number 11. Store your stuff in there. The procedure here is to change into your PE uniform and then meet the class on the field on Mondays and Fridays and in the gym on Tuesday and Thursdays or if we get rained out. We get the pool on Wednesdays. I’m sure your classmates will help you if you need it or get lost. After class, hit the showers—we have towels and supplies for your use in there, so you don’t have to bring anything with you. Throw your wet towels in the bin once you’ve changed. Got any questions for me?”  
  
Coach Mizuki is tall, and he’s got dark skin like Asato and a similar shape. His hair and fur are short and fluffy, burgundy in color. His eyes are a contrasting lime green, and strangely, he has a white teardrop tattoo under his left eye and a strange tattoo on his neck, too, also white.

I’ve never seen a cat with a tattoo on his face, so I try not to stare. I try to make direct eye contact and reply, “Thank you. I’ll ask for help if I need it.” 

“Great! Well, looking forward to seeing what you’ve got out there. We’re doing sword training today, so it should be fun.”

“Really?” My ears perk up. This _will_ be fun. I love sword training, and I’ve gotten good enough so Dad doesn’t like to spar with me anymore.

“Yeah.” Coach gives me a warm smile. “I’ve never seen a Karou cat fight, but I hear you guys are unusually quick on your feet. Even though you’re small, I think I’ll pair you up with Rai—he’s from Setsura, and I was going to pair him with Asato, who is Kiran, but they don’t get along very well, and it almost always breaks out in a real fight.”

Is Rai from Setsura? Of course, he is. That makes sense. That explains why he’s so tall. But—do _I_ want to spar with him after this morning’s whatever-it-was? And who would turn a sparring match into a fight? However—this would be a great time to get out of my some aggression.

“Okay!” I turn toward the lockers and find number 11, located in the second row. The lockers are tall and wide enough to fit my bag sideways, and there are only single rows of them with a bench behind them.Again, I’m feeling a little small. 

Unfortunately, two cats I recognize are already there changing their clothes. Asato’s locker is 12, and Rai’s is 10. And _shit_ —both of them are shirtless and totally ripped. _Shit_. This is not good. I’m having a really hard time concentrating now, and they are taking up more than their fair share of space. They really don’t seem to like each other very much, I notice.

“Excuse me,” I say, and they both look up at the sound of my voice, and they both smile. Asato’s looks genuine, and Rai’s is more of a smirk. “My locker is number 11.” 

“Ah, we can make room for you. You don’t take up much space,” Rai says softly—and his voice—it feels like it’s _caressing_ my ears. It almost bothers me how much his voice affects me. It just sounds so sexy. It makes my fur ruffle up, and he’s making me blush again. I drop my eyes and hope he doesn’t notice, but I have a feeling there isn’t much that escapes his notice. 

And now, I have to get changed in front of these guys! Hopefully, I can do it without anyone noticing anything weird.

I see Asato is already wearing his PE shorts and shoes, but he’s just sitting there, watching me take off my tie. And did I mention he’s not wearing a shirt, either? He’s sitting on the bench, holding his t-shirt in his hands—and he has quite a nice body as well. Why isn't he getting dressed?

Rai is lacing his shoes without looking at them, also watching me. He’s at least had the decency to finish dressing—but man, his shirt is a slim fit. I can see the definition of his muscles through the fabric. I try not to look while I finally slip my tie off my neck, but obviously, I notice.

On Asato’s other side, there’s a boy about a head taller than me with a shock of orange hair that I recognize from Karou. He isn’t actually _from_ there, but he visited there as a merchant from time to time, bringing medicines and other items. I’m surprised to see him here.

“Tokino?” I ask, temporarily ignoring the two cats ogling me. “Is that really you?”

“Konoe!” His blue eyes sparkle happily, his orange ears perk up. “I didn’t see you here yesterday! I didn’t know you were in my class! It’s great to see you!”

He comes up to me and gives me a hug, pressing his nose against my shoulder, which is slightly awkward since my shirt is now completely unbuttoned at this point and my skin is bare where he is touching me. Plus, he’s standing right in front of Asato.

I return the gesture of affection without thinking about it too much. Well, that’s a lie. I actually _do_ think about it quite a bit.

“We just arrived yesterday afternoon. Dad was offered a job here, so we moved in yesterday and are living on campus.”

“Ah, Shui-Sensei is teaching here? Music, I assume?” Tokino’s tail lifts and sways. “That will be great! I can’t wait to learn from him!”

“It’s nice to see you, Tokino,” I whisper. “I’d better get changed.”

“Yeah. It looks like you have an _audience_ ,” he winks at me, nodding politely to Asato and Rai, who return his happy smile.

I grumble a little, looking behind me.

“Go ahead,” Rai says.

“You don’t _have_ to watch,” I suggest, my voice taking on a slightly prickly tone.

“No, but why wouldn’t I enjoy the view when it’s right in front of me?” the silver cat leans back on the bench. He’s tall enough so his back rests against the back of the row of lockers behind him. He’s dressed so he could leave and wait outside now, but he doesn’t. He appears to be waiting for me. I’m not sure if I should angry or not. Part of me feels just a little bit flattered—or I would if I didn’t think he was doing all this just to get a rise out of me. 

I swallow thickly, turn around, quickly pull my dress shirt off my shoulders and slip my t-shirt over my head. I feel my ears burning. I’ve never changed in front of anyone except my father. This is _really_ embarrassing. My shirt doesn’t fit like Rai's does, thankfully. It’s much bigger and looser, so it covers my ass, most of it anyway, and it will probably cover my underwear—I prefer boxers, and thank the gods I’m wearing some that aren’t too ratty today.

Oh! That’s why Dad gave me a hard time about my underwear this morning! “Don’t wear the rattiest pair you own, Konoe, even if they _are_ comfortable.” He wasn’t _just_ giving me a hard time—he knew about changing in the locker room and probably didn’t want me to be embarrassed, I guess. Thanks, Dad!

I slip off my pants and pull on my shorts as quickly as I can, leaving my legs bare for the least amount of time as possible. Then I hang up my uniform in the locker. 

I turn around and glare at the two cats watching me. Rai’s arms are crossed, and Asato is simply staring—he hasn’t moved, still holding his shirt.

“Happy now?” I ask, my voice hard, but I know I’m blushing.

“Not at all,” Rai answers. “You could have changed in a much sexier way. That was hardly a show! I couldn’t even see what color or type of underwear you’re wearing! That won’t help my fantasy life, will it?”

A small shocked sound comes out of my mouth. I can’t believe he would say something like that!

“Your ears turn pink when you blush. It’s cute. Did you know?” He sounds so self-assured!

“Th-that’s only n-natural for pale cats!” I sputter. “Yours probably do, too, don’t they?” 

“No. I don’t blush,” Rai says. 

 _He must be lying_ , I think. _Or teasing me again_.

"I don't, either," Asato adds. Of course, he doesn't. He's darker skinned with black ears.

“May I sit?” I ask, holding up my shoes. I need to sit down to tie my shoes.

“Please,” Rai scoots over a minuscule amount, and so does Asato. So there is barely enough room for me to sit between them. I mean, when I sit down, I can feel both cats touching me on either side. Maybe my hips are slightly wider proportionally than most cats my size—Dad has mentioned it when I’ve tried to find clothes. He also said it’s not a bad thing, and I will appreciate it when I get older.

But now, it’s awkward, especially since I feel both cats' body heat as I’m trying to tie my shoes, and I’m having a hard time concentrating. It takes three tries to tie my shoes and I still can’t get the laces right. I usually wear pull-on leather boots at home in Karou.

“Do you need help, Konoe?” Asato asks, in my left ear, his soft voice a little whispery, making a shiver run down my back. “I can help you tie your shoes if you need it.”

Without waiting for my response, his arms wrap around my shoulders and reach for my shoelaces, as if my feet were his feet. I startle at the touch and freeze.

Rai stiffens on my other side, but Asato is bold and simply ties my right shoe without any hesitation.

“See?” he says, continuing to speak directly into my ear. “It’s easy. I tied a double knot, too, so it won’t come undone. Your little hands are shaking.” He holds my hands in his for a minute before moving to my left shoe and tying it the same way.

I do not appreciate being embraced by strangers like this, and it’s the second time he’s done this today. It’s been less than an hour, too, since he grabbed my tail. But I didn’t protest early enough—I was too flustered—and now it would just be weird to say anything. So instead, I squirm away.

I shift uncomfortably and squeeze away from the black cat, sliding off the bench, unfortunately having to slide my body against the white cat. He feels about as soft as a brick wall. I shouldn’t be surprised—I mean, hell, I saw him without a shirt—but I’m still a little surprised. Is he flexing on purpose when I touch him? Is he trying to impress me?

What is _wrong_ with these people?!

I can’t _imagine_ being his sparring partner. Ugh! I was looking forward to PE, but now, I’m a complete mess! _Again_. Even worse than before lunch. I try not to make eye contact, but I can’t help it, and my eyes meet his pale blue gaze.

“You get embarrassed so easily,” he says with that annoyingly attractive smirk. “Your ears blush and your tail gives away your feelings.”

“So what?” I return in a huff. I stalk out the door onto the field as the coach instructed, ignoring them, but I’m _still_ flustered. I do not want to spar with _either_ of those two.

No luck, though. Coach Mizuki is happy and energetic, and he assigns me a wooden sword—I get to choose one that feels right in my hands—the weight feels about the same as the sword I used at home in Karou.

“Coach, do I absolutely _have_ to spar with the white cat?” I ask when I’m sure Rai is out of hearing.

“Why? Is there a problem?” Coach asks, curiously tilting his ears in my direction. It's obvious he cares.

“Well…” I lower my ears slightly, unsure of what to say.

“Konoe, see, Rai is from Setsura, and he is bored in my class. He was bored last year, too. He was trained with swords from an early age. You were, too, right? Most of the others, besides Asato, were not, and there is a big gap in their skill level. He disarms them too easily. And he and Asato—well, I’d rather they not spar. I’ve been told to keep them apart.” 

That’s weird since they sit close to each other in class, and their lockers are only separated by mine. So what’s the deal? But I don’t question him. Dad has taught me to respect adults.

“All right,” I comply. It's a class. I'll beat his white ass and teach him a lesson he won't soon forget.

“Let’s pair up, then,” Coach announces loudly. “Use the same partners as yesterday—except today, I’ll have Konoe pair up with Rai, and Asato, you will spar with Tokino.” 

I’d much rather spar with Tokino, I think, as I’m facing off with the giant across from me in the grassy field. We have plenty of space, but I was wrong about my 75% size estimate. I think he’s closer to twice my size.

Rai really enjoys fighting. I can tell by the glint in his pale blue eyes. He hasn’t even bothered to pull his hair back. I wonder, won’t it get in his way? Or maybe he doesn’t see me as a threat? He _still_ has that smirk on his face, and he looks overconfident in his abilities. The coach has placed us at the very edge of the field, and the forest is on my right. I’m glad since I actually use trees as a tool in my style of fighting.

I move a little closer to the trees, backing up into the forest. Rai raises his eyebrows slightly and follows me confidently, and then lunges at me.

 _Fast_! He is _much_ faster than he looks! I cannot believe how quickly—and silently—he can move that much weight around. I mean—in bumping into him in the locker room, his body felt incredibly solid, so I should have guessed he could move like this, but he is also incredibly elegant.

And he doesn’t just use a single sword, I see. He is armed with two. Is he ambidextrous? I’m amazed—and slightly distracted by the beauty of his movement—he moves his body like a dancer—fluid and gorgeous—and I’m almost distracted enough to nearly forget to block one of his first advances.

But I’m fast, too. My arms aren’t as long as his, nor is my sword as long. His swords are rapidly clashing against mine—I have to return blows from both his wooden swords with my single one and the help of the claws of one of my hands. And he hits with a _heavy_ hand—he doesn’t seem to be taking it easy on the guise of me being the new kid. The blows from the longsword require both my hands to block—they are _heavy_ hits. That is fine by me—I think I’d be offended if I thought he was taking it easy on me. 

I’m backing up further and further into the forest, step by step, letting him advance—which is also fine by me. I am counting on a little help from the trees. He is watching me carefully, and I think he knows I am doing this on purpose but he isn't bothered. But I can’t really tell, because I am getting slightly overwhelmed by the weight, speed, and power of his hits.

Gods, the _look_ on his face right now—it’s _really_ confident like he is the king of the fucking world—and he thinks this is an _easy_ fight. It’s rattling me quite a bit and I can feel a growl building in my throat.

His smirk widens into a smile when he hears me. But I’m finally where I want to be—close enough to the trees for help. And I use my sword to fend off the blow from his longsword and the claws of my left hand to fend off his dagger. That’s when I crouch down low and launch myself into the tree directly on my right, pushing off both his swords at once, forcing him back several steps. 

It’s a perfect hit because I come down over and behind him, and I land a hit to his left shoulder using my bodyweight and gravity—hard enough to make him drop his dagger—and I hear him grunt in surprise. It's absolutely thrilling! I feel elation and adrenaline rushing through my bloodstream. However, when I land on the ground, he hits me hard enough with his longsword to send me flying—and I lose my footing and land on my back with the wind knocked out of me, my own sword lying several feet away from me on the grass.

It’s a bittersweet victory, since yes, I disarmed him, but I only managed to take _one_ of his weapons, and at the price of losing my own weapon _and_ my footing on top of that. He’s a better swordsman than I am. It’s irritating!

“You’re not bad,” he says, rubbing his shoulder and looking down at me. I’m surprised he got to me so quickly. Once again, I didn’t even hear the grass crunching beneath his feet. How can a cat so large be so fast and silent? He offers me his hand, and I’m slightly confused as to what to do with it. He smirks again, whispering quietly, “I’m helping you up, stupid cat.”  

“Ah,” I say. “Oh, thank you.” I accept the hand and let him help me up, but he keeps my hand in his, squeezing it lightly as if feeling the size difference. 

“Are you injured?” he asks, looking at me carefully. “I hit you pretty hard—I was aiming for your sword, but your speed surprised me. It was fun.”

I actually _really_ enjoyed it, too. I realize I’m also smiling. I’ve never sparred with someone who was _that_ good at swordplay. Maybe he’s not such a bad cat after all. 

“You’re really good. You can wield weapons in both hands, and your hits are _really_ hard, and how do you move so quietly and quickly?” I ask, unable to keep the admiration from my voice.

“Excellent!” Coach Mizuki says. “That was perfect! Class, _that’s_ what I expect from all of you, do you hear me?”

Coach’s voice startles me, and I jump a little. As I turn around, I notice the entire PE class has been watching our exchange. They totally just saw me being disarmed, and I feel my ears heating up—I’m humiliated. I can’t look at them. I look down at my feet. Gods—could today get any worse? 

“Hey—what's wrong? You know, no one has _ever_ disarmed me at this school—not _all_ of last year. I think if I fought Asato long enough, he might have figured out a way. He’s new this year, too, but I may have pissed him off yesterday which is why we aren't allowed to spar. You did really well, Konoe.”

Ah—he said my name. It sounds so nice! The words are murmured quietly in my ear—like _close_ to my ear. Rai must have leaned down to whisper into them, too. I can even feel his lips brushing against the tips of them, and his breath moves the downy fur inside my ears when he speaks. It makes them twitch a little. Also, I am still holding onto his hand from when he pulled me up to stand, and that makes me blush from my ears to my chest, especially knowing since the entire class is staring at us.

Is it normal to get up so close in a stranger’s space like this? Am I just not used to it? I look around, and no one else seems to be doing this. Well—that’s not _entirely_ true. I see two other cats doing _something._ It’s a gorgeous bright blue-haired cat with long fur and a strawberry blond spiky-haired cat, actually—and they seem to be messing around in the tall grass on the other side of the field close to the forest, out of view of the coach. When I look a little more closely, they almost look like they are licking each other... wait. Are they kissing? What the hell!? _Kissing_? What is going on?

A small gasp comes out of my mouth when I see them.

“Yeah, that’s Aoba over there, the cat with blue hair. He tends to attract _that_ kind of attention,” Rai whispers again. “I think _you_ might be another Aoba.”

I look up sharply.

“Exactly what do you mean by that?” The words tumble out of my mouth. His face is really close to mine now, and his pale blue eyes are _so_ pretty up close, like the color of the sky—his lashes are almost silver instead of white, and they are long and full, framing his eyes perfectly. He blinks them slowly—almost seductively—and he keeps the corners of his mouth turned up. He looks over at the two messing around again, almost _longingly._

_What the fuck!?_

“That was fun. Wanna do it again?” Does he mean, do I want to spar again, or do something else?

“What do you _mean_ by that? You don’t even _know_ me!” I’m pissed he would insinuate something like that about me.

“No—but I know about your _father_. The apple never falls far from the tree.” The silver cat still has his clever smirk on his face, and he is looking at my lips—I can tell that’s where he’s looking—and then glancing over my shoulder—as if to remind me of Aoba’s activities, right there—in the open. Then he looks at me again and allows his gaze to wander slowly down my body, lingering on my tail. It makes me incredibly uncomfortable—or maybe not uncomfortable exactly. Maybe it's arousing.

“What the hell is _that_ supposed to mean?” I realize I’ve bared my fangs and my claws are drawn, and my fur fully bristles.

“Why don’t you take your anger out on me in another round, then? See if you can disarm me a second time?” Rai suggests. His voice is calm, and he’s turning around so I can back up against the forest again. “But this time—try not to get so worked up when you fight and aim for vital spots. You’re fast, but your hits are light. So you’d want to aim for vital spots in a real battle.”  
  
_For real?_ Is he giving _me_ advice? Who the fuck does he think he is!? I’m _pissed_. I can feel my jaw tighten up and my molars grinding in my back of my mouth. But weirdly, my mouth is strangely filled with all this extra saliva I don’t know what to do with. And then—I glance over his shoulder—and I see Aoba on his back out there, making out with that larger cat. I think—what would that _feel_ like—if Rai was doing that to me? It almost looks like the blond cat has the blue cat pinned down. Would it feel good? A shiver goes through my shoulders, down my spine, all the way to the tip of my tail, and my fur bristles even more—this time for a completely different reason. 

Damn it! I wish I weren’t wearing these PE shorts. I lower my stance and growl again.

“I want to see you use the tree again. It was very unique. I didn’t even see you move until you were already behind me!”

We end up sparring for the rest of class, and I end up flat on my back, on my side, on my stomach— _regardless_ —in the grass, after every round. I manage to disarm him two more times: I get his longsword once, and his dagger one more time. And he disarms me _every_ time we spar. One time, I fall on top of an exposed tree root—hard—I think it's when I get his longsword—and it hurts my lower back and my hip—in fact, a few tears leak out of my eyes when I land, but I manage to brush them from my eyes before he notices, I think. I’m pretty sure I didn’t break anything, but I’ll have a bruise there for sure. Why can’t I just land on my feet like a normal Ribika? 

After the last round, I’m exhausted. 

Coach calls time and tells us to hit the showers. Rai pulls me up to stand, an elated look in his eye.

“Seriously—that was fun. Thanks,” he says, looking at me out of the corner of his eye. “Your dad’s the new music teacher, right?”

“What about him?” I suddenly sharpen my tone, remembering what he said about him earlier. I don’t know, but does he have a reputation I don’t know about? I know some wandering musicians do, but I wasn’t aware of Dad’s. However, I’ve never left Karou before, and I’m sure if he had a reputation like this, Dad wouldn’t tell me. 

“I’m sorry I said anything. I was actually only trying to rile you up. You seemed to require a little… motivation.” Rai won’t meet my eyes at first, but I’m so surprised to hear this arrogant cat apologizing to me that I stop walking. He stops, too, meeting my gaze. “What?”

“N-nothing. I’m just surprised.”

“Why?”

“You don’t seem the type to apologize. For anything. Like, ever.”

“Hmpf,” he says, sounding slightly offended. “Well, I am sorry.” That even sounds sincere. Those pale blue eyes of his are so pretty. _Damn it._

“Oh, it’s fine, don’t worry about it. I don’t know if he has a reputation like that or not. Does he? I’ve never left my hometown, so I've never heard anything about it.”  
  
“Karou, is it? Are all cats your size there?” I can’t help noticing that Rai avoids my question about Dad.

“Yes,” I lie, heading toward the locker room. 

“I see. Have you trained with the sword since you were small?”  
  
“Yes, since I was often left alone, I needed to learn to defend myself and our territory,” I explain. “And it’s tradition in Karou, as well.”

“Like Setsura, it seems.”  
  
“Are all cats your size in Setsura?” I ask.

“Well, some are bigger than me,” Rai answers. “I’m about average, I guess.”

 “Wow,” I say. Maybe I didn’t need to lie about my height, then. I’m a little ashamed, but I don’t say anything.

“Showers are this way,” Rai says, when I try to go back to the locker rooms to change.

“Oh—can’t I just change and shower at home?”

“You won’t have time—class starts in 15 minutes, and the walk is too far. It’s fine—you’ll feel better after a shower. Plus, you took a couple of pretty hard falls, didn’t you? Are you sure you're okay?”

"Ah, oh, yeah. Thanks. I'm fine." I’m nervous now, especially when I walk into the showers. They are _all_ open, no walls at all, nothing resembling privacy. The other cats simply strip down to nothing like it’s no big deal.

I can sense—but I do not turn my head—I will _not_ turn my head—when Rai takes his shirt off.

Okay, I lied. I _do_ turn my head, just to take a peek. Most of the cats in the room look, though. I’m not the _only_ one sneaking a peek.

But I don’t want to get undressed. I don’t want to shower with everyone else! That’s too embarrassing! And I’ll have to do it every day? Why didn’t Dad warn me?

Probably because he knew I would be nervous and I wouldn’t have been able to sleep.

“You know, they have a laundry service here. If your clothes are labeled, they will wash them for you by tomorrow. Leave them here,” Rai nods in the direction of a basket next to me.

I shyly strip off my shirt. I mean, I’m being even _more_ awkward being the only one dressed, I suppose. I slip out of my clothes and wander under the closest shower, keeping my eyes lowered to the floor. The water does feel great—especially after a great workout like that. My body is really aching, though—and I realize I’m pretty sore, and my lower back is hurting.

When I look to my left, Rai is standing under the shower next to me lathering up his hair—and his body  _covered_ in bubbles. He looks almost _obscene_. Nothing is really exposed with all those bubbles—white lather, white bubbles, silver hair, silver fur, pale skin—and those shocking blue eyes. It’s hard _not_ to stare—I mean—he has a great body and he’s such an attractive cat. I can't help wondering what would he feel like if I touched his skin covered in bubbles like that. Smooth? Slippery? A bolt of painfully sharp heat shoots through my body when I think these lewd and inappropriate thoughts and I try to drop my gaze right away. But, of course, he catches me peeking before I can look away and he actually _smiles_ at me. Who the _hell_ has the confidence to _smile_ at someone else while they are _naked_? 

I don’t get it. I rinse the shampoo from my own hair as quickly as possible, soap myself up as fast as I can and get the hell out of there. There are towels waiting right there, so I grab one quickly and hurry out of the room, nearly slipping on the floor. Someone grabs my arm, keeping me from falling.

“You’ll slip on the floor if you run in here,” Rai says. “You should be careful.”

I bit the inside of my cheek to prevent myself from hissing—he probably kept me from cracking my head open, but I don’t want him to touch me—especially not when I’m naked. Well, I’m wearing a towel. But still.

And that’s a lie. I _do_ want him to touch me. I want him to touch me very, _very_ much. I just don’t want him to _know_ that I want him to touch me. I think I don’t want him to touch me here in _front_ of everyone else.

Well—actually—that might not be so bad, either—what if he pulled me close and kissed me like that blond cat was doing to Aoba earlier… What would that be like? If he kissed me in front of everyone here right now?

Oh, my gods! I need to stop this or I won’t be able to get myself dressed decently! What is the matter with me?! It must be the fighting. Sometimes I just get a little worked up after my blood gets flowing.

I look down and mumble, “Sorry,” as apologetically as I can manage and head back to my locker. 

Asato is nearly dressed, but he’s struggling with his tie. He’s almost got it, though, standing in front of the mirror on the back of the locker door.

I slip into my clothes as quickly as I can and I notice Rai’s pale skin has a dark shadow on one of his shoulders—his left shoulder—and I can’t help looking after I slip into my shirt.

When I look little more closely, I realize it’s a bruise—shaped like a sword. Just like _my_ sword. I did that to him!

“Oh, my gods,” I say. “I’m sorry.” I feel terrible. 

“What?” Rai looks at me.

“Your shoulder,” I say. “I think that was my fault.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Rai says, nonchalantly. “It was totally worth it.” He gives me a smirk. “Let’s do it again tomorrow—or—maybe you can make it up to me later.”

A small gasp comes out of my mouth when he says that. What? What does he mean?

My still-wet fur bristles when I feel something touch my lower back, slipping under my shirt. It’s Asato’s hand.

“You have a bruise, too. The mean white cat _hurt_ you.”

“I think I got that when I fell,” I say, pulling away slightly. “I fell on the root of a tree.”

“He slammed into you with everything he had!” Asato says angrily. Then he softens his voice. “You’re just a little cat. You should be treated _gently_.”

I don’t appreciate that statement so much. “We were _sparring_ , Asato. I wasn’t holding back, either! I would have been offended if he held back,” I say.

“But this—this looks bad. Doesn't it hurt?”

“It’s fine.” The bruise does hurt—and it stretches from my lower back down my hip. I’m sure it’s fine, but it aches. Rai didn’t hit me there—it’s just where I fell on the tree root. Thank gods my pants are already on or I might suffer an invasive exam.

“Maybe you should go to the health center and have it checked out.”

“ _Don’t_ ,” Rai says suddenly. “Let me see.”

He doesn’t wait—he simply turns me around and pulls up my shirt and looks at the top part of the bruise.

“Does this hurt?” he pushes against my back, palpating it several times. 

“I mean, it’s sore, but I’m sure it’s just a bruise,” I say, slightly uncomfortable (or something) with the touch of his slender fingers. His hands are so large. One of his hands can nearly reach around my entire waist. It makes me shiver. 

Ahh! I need to stop!

He pushes against my lower back while holding onto my hip, palpating in several places again. It’s a really strange place to be touched and my tail fluffs out suddenly. It doesn’t feel that bad, though—just a little intimate. “How about this.”

“Yeah, but I’m fine.” I flinch, but I want him to stop touching me. Well—I kind of _don’t_ want him to stop touching me, like _ever_ , too. I don’t know _what_ I want, and my ears are heating up again. I am _so_ confused!

“If I were you, I’d stay away from medical,” Rai says calmly. “You’re probably just fine—this is just a bruise, so you don’t need medical care. If it hurt to move, I'd suggest you go. The old man there would probably just _love_ to feel you up, which is why I hesitate. You’re _just_ his type.”

Another sharp intake of breath from me at the cat’s bold comment—does he state everything so bluntly? Which old man? His type? What the hell?

"His type?" I ask quietly.

"Lithe, petite blonde with hips like yours," Rai says, making sure to meet my eyes directly. "Adorable young faces don't hurt, either, and the fact that you blush so easily would probably also be a plus. He'd never leave you alone."

The expression on my face is probably sheer terror, and Rai strokes my ears comfortingly.

"If you're sick, though, I'll go with you. I know him. I'll make sure he takes care of you and nothing else."

“Konoe is _hurt_ , and I should take him there,” Asato argues, interrupting the silver cat irritatedly.

 I still have to finish dressing, and I’m continuing my desperate struggle with my tie.

“Thanks for your concern, but I’m fine.” I try to give Asato a smile. I notice he still needs to fix his tie, too. “Ah, shit.” I accidentally loosened mine too much and now it’s come untied—completely.

Rai is dressed now. I watched his beautiful fingers deftly tie his own tie just a moment ago. I’m not going to lie and say that I’m not a _tiny_ bit grateful when he pulls me into his chest, facing me in front of the mirror. 

“Stupid cat,” he whispers it softly and tenderly in my ear before he says a little louder, “Not used to the uniform yet?”

My ears droop slightly and he looks at them in the reflection. I’m staring at his eyes. I can’t help it. They are _so_ pretty.

“Look at the _tie_ ,” he suggests, smiling gently. “Look. Loop the wide end over the narrow, like this, keeping it flat, and bring it all the way around. Then pull the wide end through the neck, and thread it straight down through the loop you just made, like this.”

He pulls me up close when he threads the last part of the knot.

“Now, just tighten it and adjust, so it ends about at your belt buckle. Isn’t that simple?”

He smells really good—probably the shampoo, and that makes me remember those bubble and that lather, and gods, that was so _hot_ —and having both his arms around me like this—I’m embarrassed to say it and my face is as red as a kuim—but I _love_ the feeling. It feels safe, warm, and somehow _right_. I want to stay just like this. My tail is relaxed, gently swaying back and forth, or it _was_ , but I think it’s rather lewdly wrapped itself loosely around his thigh. I know have to move, but I feel like my legs are filled with lead.

“Ah, thank you,” I’ve been staring at him for too long. His fingers are long and slender and so dexterous—I can’t help but wonder how they’d feel if they wandered all over my body—not just on my back or over the top of my clothes. And my breathing is weird and my stomach feels like I’ve swallowed a butterfly. Again. (Really, I haven’t done that since _last_ summer, and I was only playing with it—I swear, it was an _accident_! Dad gave me a hard time for weeks about that!)

But he’s just helping me, and when I look back at his face, he’s wearing a little smirk again. Gods, he _knows_ he’s attractive and I think he’s teasing me. He _has_ to be. The alternative would mean that he is also interested, and that just _can’t_ be true. I’m too small and too plain and too weird for someone like him. I immediately drop my eyes and try to pull away.

“I-I don’t want to be late for my next class,” I stammer, I grab my bag from my locker, and I make a desperate escape. I feel a little better once I’m outside, taking some deep breaths and relaxing. I lean against the building away from the door, crouching down low so he won’t see me—but Tokino seems to know exactly where to find me. 

“Konoe! Let me walk with you! Next is science—are you in my class?”

“Oh—I think I am,” I say, standing up from my semi-crouched position.

“Do you overdo it today? You’re looking a bit out of sorts,” Tokino says, giving me a hand up.

"What do you mean?”

“Your face is red, and so are your ears—and not just a _little_ red!” Tokino is teasing me now, too. “Could it be a fever? Or perhaps something _else_ has struck you—something that strikes cats of your age rather suddenly, especially when they start at our school? Hmm? Maybe something that has to do with that silver cat? Hmm?”

“Tokino,” I start, “I _really_ don’t want to talk about it.”

“I can see that, but _I_ sure do!” Tokino chirps happily. “Is it _Rai_? He paid you all _kinds_ of attention today, I hear, and _not_ just in our last class!” He is smiling so brightly today—brighter than the sun. It almost hurts my eyes.

“Oh, please,” I say.

“Oh, come on, tell me!”

“Please,” I beg, rather sincerely. “I think he’s just teasing me or giving me a hard time. Today has been so confusing! I feel so awkward—I don’t understand anyone’s intentions—maybe we can talk when classes are over for the day?” I suggest.

“I would _love_ to!” Another over-eager happy chirp bursts from his lips and Tokino pulls me along to our next class.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Triggers: Non-con touching, dub-con kissing.

_Weird_.

It’s the only word that comes to mind to describe our science teacher. Although, one thing I can say about him is that he _is_ a smaller species, like me.

Leaks-Sensei has the same color hair as me, but he wears it in a super long braid—so long that even after wrapping it around his neck several times it still nearly touches the floor. How old is this guy, anyway? His hair must grow really, really fast if his hair is that long because his fast isn't wrinkled. He also has similar eyes to mine, though his look more amber, mine more honey. He has black fur, though, which is quite unusual since his hair is blonde.

Also, there’s something weirdly familiar about him, and I mean,  _strangely_ familiar. He even looks at me several times sideways when I come into the class. He asks me to introduce myself to the class, and I do like I have for all the others today.

“Shui-Sensei, the musician?” Leaks asks when I mention my dad, peering at me over the top of his glasses, his voice changing slightly. “Does your father have red hair?”

“Yes—do you know him?” I ask.

“Oh, I may have met him long ago,” Leaks replies. “Anyway, work hard in this class and pay attention. We move along quickly. Take your seat.” 

Again, I find an empty seat that happens to be between Rai and Asato. This time Rai is behind me, and Asato is in front of me. But I can feel Rai’s gaze boring into my back during the entire class. In fact, I feel him touch my tail several times which, to be honest, won't be controlled and won't settle down. I'm nervous being so close to the silver cat. He catches it in his hand or brushes just the tip, which makes me shiver and makes me bristle.

“Tempting when you flick it around so much,” I hear him whisper lowly behind me. I do not turn around.

"It's like you're beckoning me."

“If you don’t wish to be caught, then don’t make me want to chase you.”

“ _Sexy_.”

 _That_  last comment makes me blush and drop my pencil, and then I hear his low voice rumble, “Your ears are pink. Aren’t you _trying_ to tempt me, then?”

It’s _terribly_ distracting and making me incredibly flustered, but I manage to take notes all right. I will ignore this. What he is doing is not normal!

However, unfortunately, _right_ after the “sexy” comment exchange, Leaks-Sensei finishes his lecture, and he calls on me to answer a question.

I’m _sure_ I could have answered had I actually heard the question.

“I’m sorry, Sensei. Would you repeat the question?” I scratch my ears, which still feel hot in my hands. Leaks is looking at my ears in irritation. 

“Konoe. I realize this is your first day in class with me. I expect my students to pay attention. If I call on you a second time and I have to repeat my question, there will be _consequences_. Frankly, I expect more from Shui’s son.” 

What kind of relationship does he have with Dad anyway? And what did he mean by that? That wasn't even a partly veiled threat. He doesn’t repeat his question, but when I hear the answer from another student, I am _sure_ I could have answered it— _if_ I hadn’t been so distracted.

I’m going to have to do something about this situation.

This is the last class of the afternoon. After dinner, we have an evening astronomy lab which should be interesting. But I need to deal with _this_ mess right away before it gets any worse. Dad says if you're upset about something, you should address the issue right away, so that is what I plan to do.

As soon as the bell rings, I pack my supplies back into my bag, turn around, and ask the silver cat, “Do you have a moment?”

“Of course,” he answers with his traditional smirk. He was already watching me quite carefully, I notice.

“I need to talk to you.” I try to keep my voice stern, but he isn't intimidated.

“And I would _love_ to talk to you, too. Here, or somewhere more _private_?”  He sounds... well, his voice is a little heated.

While I don’t like his insinuation, I still think it would be better _not_ to call him out in a public place like the classroom. I’m sure he’s popular, what with his good looks and all. I don’t want to embarrass him. Plus, he was being subtle about grabbing me, and I don't think he'd want his classmates hearing what he was doing.

“Possibly slightly more private than the classroom,” I say, but no sooner do the words leave of my mouth, he grabs my arm, pulls me from my seat, and drags me out of class.

“Oy,” I protest in confusion.

“You said you wanted to go somewhere more _private_ , and I know just the place,” Rai says, his voice surprisingly low. "I've been thinking about it all day."

I see several students turn their heads when we leave the class so abruptly—including Tokino, who looks more than curious, and Asato, who is scowling. I’m just really embarrassed.

“I just meant I wanted to talk to you in a place the entire class wouldn’t overhear,” I try to exclaim, trying to keep up with his much longer gait.

“Don't worry. _No one_ will hear us where we are going.” What is that supposed to me? I think I feel just a little afraid. Or is this excitement? My stomach feels full of butterflies.

He drags me down the hall and I stumble after him.

“Actually, the hall would be just fine...” I stammer, trying to drag my feet.

“ _Not_ for what I have in mind,” Rai says, and a little shiver goes through my shoulders at his tone. For some reason, I can’t get the image of him in the shower—naked except for the bubbles—out my mind, and my heart leaps up into my mouth. Why am I thinking about _that_ now? It’s embarrassing! It's like I'm flustering _myself_! How awkward a cat am I? I feel a little bit sick to my stomach. He continues in that low voice. “Funny, because I wanted to talk to you, too.”

We are outside the science building now, and he is headed for a densely wooded area, veering off the path.

“Wh-where are we going?” I ask nervously.

“Somewhere more private, of course,” he answers confidently as if this is the most natural thing in the world.

We are in the woods, isolated, and certainly, there is no one to overhear us. He finally releases my arm, but as he does, he gently pushes me up against the trunk of a large tree, and he puts his hands on either side of my shoulders, leaning over me. I can smell the shampoo in his hair. There is just a slight breeze whispering through the leaves overhead, but it’s warm and pleasant.

He moves one of his hands to my tie, straightening it, making deliberately slow movements.

“Your tie is a little crooked. Let me fix it for you.”

He lowers his face a little closer to mine when he does this, and if I wanted, I could stick my tongue out and lick his chin—he is _that_ close to me right now. Why did I think if doing _that_?? What is _wrong_ with me? I realize I am holding my breath.

Raising his eyes to mine, he opens his mouth to speak again.

“You had something you wanted to talk to me about?”

I feel sick. I am afraid I might throw up if I try to speak to him now—I am literally _that_ nervous! What am I _doing_ out here with this cat, with a cat _this_ gorgeous? What does he _want_ with me?

I look up from the strands of silver hair brushing against my shirt, some caressing my face, into the handsome face looking down at me. Those pale blue eyes are stunning—they are an icy blue—the color of the sky. His eyelashes are full and thick, and he blinks slowly as his smirk softens into a genuine smile.

“Has Ribika got your tongue?” 

“Wh-what?” I ask, trying to back away, but, of course, I can’t. There is nowhere I can go. I’m pressed up against the tree with his hands on either side of me. I realize the school uniform looks amazingly sharp on Rai—the navy and pale blue stripes in the tie make his eyes glitter. I’m too mesmerized to speak. What did I want to say to him again? I’m certain I wasn’t going to tell him _that_.

“Still tongue-tied? Maybe I can help loosen it for you,” his voice drops nearly to a whisper, and he suddenly presses his lips to my slightly open mouth.

A shocked sound comes spills from my lips—he’s _kissing_ me! He feels so hot—and his lips are so soft—and my gods, _Rai is kissing me_! What should I _do_?

I feel a hand on the side of my face, tilting my jaw up toward his, gently stroking my chin encouraging me to relax and open my mouth to deepen the kiss. I feel his lips eager pressing against mine, and his tongue gently tracing the outline of my lips requesting permission to enter.

It's so unexpected, in several ways. I wasn't expecting him to kiss me, first. And second, this kiss is so gentle. He could force his tongue into my mouth, but he doesn't. He's using his hand to ask for permission. I feel like he's stolen away my anxiety about this being my first kiss, along with stealing my first kiss.

His hand on my jaw makes me relax and I allow his tongue to enter my mouth. More natural than anything is the feeling of his tongue, muscular and lean, gently stroking against the surface of my tongue. It's like he was made for me. It reaches even further into the back of my mouth. He explores my teeth, even touching the tips of my fangs—not at all afraid that I will bite—and then he does something strange.

He strokes a place in the back of my throat, and it feels _so_ nice—I mean—it sets my body on _fire_ in a way that I have never felt before—and I feel a few tears in my eyes and I start to purr, both as a reflex. I realize I have been standing on tiptoe, leaning toward him, leaning into the kiss, as he keeps his hand on my face and moves one to the nape of my neck. But when he touches me this way, I feel myself lose power and relax into his arms.

He’s touching me so gently, so softly—and he even tastes good. I feel blood pooling in my waist, and I feel my body pressing against his, and oh my gods he’s going to feel my _response_ —that I’m hard—he’s going to notice, he will find out how hot I think he is—and I start to panic. But then I feel something pressing against my stomach when his body pushes me gently against the tree trunk. It can’t be what I think it is—he must be carrying something in his pocket because that thing is just too big for what I think it must be. No, the size can’t be right—he’s tall, sure, but _that?_ Plus, he wouldn’t get turned on for someone as plain as  _me_ , would he? He’s probably just _teasing_ me—right?

He has completely taken me by surprise—this gentle kiss—and then he releases me.

But now, when I open my eyes, I realize I’m no longer standing. I’m actually kneeling on the forest floor, straddling his lap, pressed between his body and the tree trunk. How did I get here? I must have fallen on top of him. 

“I probably should have asked,” Rai whispers. “I took a risk. You seemed to enjoy it, though I’m sorry if I frightened you.” He kisses the tip of my nose playfully.

Who _is_ this cat?  What is going on here? I feel another shiver run down my spine this time. Is this really happening?

“Wh-why did you do that?” I stammer. 

“Do what?”

“K-k-kiss me!” My ears are burning—I’m sure they are the color of a kuim right now.

“You have been teasing me _all_ day,” Rai replies softly. “ _This_ is what happens to adorable kittens who tease me all day long.” 

“T-teasing you?” I stutter. _Adorable_? Does he mean me? I cannot control my voice, but I do look up at those eyes when he says those words. “I-I haven’t b-”

“Oh, but you _have_.”

I feel my tail grabbed suddenly, and a small sound comes from my mouth again. It doesn't hurt when he grabs me. It actually kind of feels good—maybe a little too good? I should _not_ be feeling this way!

“Especially last period. What were you trying to do with your tail? It’s like you were beckoning at me! You have the ‘come hither’ movement down perfectly, don’t you? Even now—you won’t control it.” 

“N-no!” I protest. Come hither? What is he talking about? “It just does that on its own!” Isn’t that just normal? 

“ _And_ in our first two classes, you kept _staring_ at me. Every time I’d look up, I’d find these lovely golden eyes peering at me.” He touches my chin lightly. “They are the color of honey—they look sweet.”

“I-I’m sorry—I-I tried not to stare. I’ve just never seen a white cat before—” and my excuse is very lame. I'm also afraid I will say something else—like about how attractive I think he is if I keep talking, so I bite my lip.

“I’ve never seen a cat with a tail like yours, nor one your size, nor one with ears this shape. And in PE, you actually managed to get in a few hits _and_ disarm me. But that wasn’t enough for you, either.”

My chin is suddenly grabbed and made to look up suddenly. I’m met with Rai’s beautiful blue eyes. I feel like I might be drowning.

“You _also_ felt free to stare at me in the shower. I didn't mind—you were quite bold about it. Yet—you after acted so shy afterward. So I don’t understand your intentions. Are you teasing me? I don’t _like_ being toyed with.”

“I wasn’t toying with you,” I say softly, looking into his eyes. My head is still spinning from his kiss, his words, his attention, his touch. I feel a little drunk from all of this. It doesn't feel real.

“Wait a second,” Rai pulls back from me for just a minute. “Wait just a _second_.” He tilts his head slightly, still meeting my eyes.

“Was that—” he looks past me for a moment and then looks directly in my eyes again. “That wasn’t your _first_ kiss, was it?”

I feel my blush deepen. The heat spreads into my chest.

“Eh—wh-why are you asking _that_?” I stammer. He is still holding my chin, and I desperately try to break eye contact.

Both his eyebrows lift and his smile widens.

“I feel so lucky today!” Rai exclaims. “Look, I will make it even better, if you want. Is that what you want?” He observes my tail, which is lashing impatiently behind me. If anything, my tail is answering, "yes, yes, yes!"

“What do you m-” and before I can finish, his lips are on mine again, and he has pulled my body even closer, right into his lap, wrapping his arm around my back so I am pressed flush against him. A small murmuring sigh comes out of my mouth. It feels so good—warm and safe—and I should _not make noises like_ this!

“It doesn’t feel like you have any serious objections,” he whispers against my mouth, and he kisses me again and again, running his fingers through my hair and stroking my ears, caressing my shoulders and back, his urgency and fervor increasing.

Somehow, I end up sprawled on top of the silver cat, who is lying on his back on the forest floor, both hands wrapped around my body—one pressing my back, and one is mischievously squeezing and massaging the base of my tail.

My ears are twitching because I keep hearing strange sounds. But I realize it’s _me_ — _I’m_ the one panting, sighing, and making weird noise out here in the forest. I’m moaning lewdly, and first of all—I’ve never made such a sound in my life, but I can’t seem to help it when I’m touched this way. The silver cat has gotten me so worked up, and I love how his hands and lips feel, and there's a greedy urge in the core of my body that my voice is responding to that won't be denied.

But I’m on _top_ of him, and I don’t know what to do with my hands—so I push them through his hair, trying not to pull, and his hair is so soft. The strands slip right through my fingers just like silk threads. I reach up to his ears, and his fur is thick and full and plush. I massage the base of his ears—they are a funny shape, smaller proportionally but about the same size as mine, but the skin is thicker than mine at the tips. I hear him purring loudly—it’s rumbling through my entire body and I hardly know what to do with myself. 

That burst of heat that I felt when he first touched the back of my throat is being fanned into a burning flame. I find I am returning his kisses eagerly, but carefully—I’m a little clumsy, too. Is it ok to kiss his top lip? His bottom lip? Can I lick his fangs like he did mine? His teeth are much larger than mine and he tastes so good—

And what am I doing here again?

I feel a slight tug at the base of my tail and another strange sound comes out of my mouth. Rai is ruffling up my fur the wrong direction. I’ve never been touched like this before and it really feels nice.

But what are we doing out here? 

He reverses our positions suddenly, keeping his hand on my tail and keeping it moving. His hips are now weighing quite heavily against my body and I can feel him pressing against me. He stops kissing my mouth for a moment and leans down and licks my jaw—and then drops several kisses on my throat. I find myself tilting my chin up, despite my best efforts _not_ to submit to him—I can’t help myself when his hand is moving on my tail—and I allow him to lick my throat—even nip it several times—a classic show of submission. I feel tears reflexively burning in my eyes from the strange stimulation.

“Gods, you are adorable,” he murmurs. He looks down at my face for a moment. “Did l really steal your first kiss?”

I blush fiercely but give a quick nod.

“I haven’t ever left my home before yesterday,” I explain. "Karou is a small village, and Dad and I were not popular there, so I tended to avoid other cats."

“I am glad you did. I really am honored,” Rai whispers it in my ear, and he lightens his grip on my tail. He lies down next to me, resting his head on his arm. “You wanted to talk to me about something?”

“Oh, yes,” I say, turning toward him. I remember, now that my tail is freed. “I was going to ask you not to grab my tail in class. It’s terribly distracting!”

“Is it, now?” Chuckling lightly, Rai smiles at me—and he’s beautiful when he smiles. “If you didn’t move your tail so much, I wouldn’t be tempted to grab it, would I? Cats are naturally drawn to movement, aren’t they? I mean, would you be able to resist?”

To prove his point, Rai starts swishing his tail back and forth, exaggeratedly. His tail is so white and so fluffy, so perfect. I cannot take my eyes off it. 

“My tail—it kind of does its own thing,” I say, my voice quiet. “I can’t really control it. It almost defies my own will.” I’m ashamed of my tail and the fact that I cannot control it, actually, and so I look away.

“You weren’t tempting me on _purpose_ today, then?” Rai asks, still swishing that white tail back and forth. I try not to reach out for it, but one of my hands tries to touch it. Rai easily catches my hand in his. “You’re going to tell me you were _accidentally_ being so cute, waving your gorgeous tail around like that?”

Now I _know_ he must be teasing me! I _know_ I’m not cute, and my tail—it is _not_ gorgeous. I am _plain_ , and my tail—well, it’s _weird_. It’s crooked at the end, defective. Especially when his tail is so perfect. How can he say this to me? I wonder if he’s just messing with me. And he kissed me, too! I let him kiss me—I let him see me in that vulnerable, unrefined, uncontrolled state...

“What are you trying to say?” I ask, unable to keep the growl out of my voice.

“Are you growling?” Rai asks, a surprised look on his face.

“Are you just messing with me because I’m new here?”

“I already said I don’t play games. Didn’t you hear me?” His voice stays very soft, those pale blue eyes look nothing but earnest. I don't understand!

This guy stole my first kiss—and not just that—I’m embarrassed because I feel exposed! I made all these weird noises when he was touching me and kissing me—and now—what _is_ this? I don’t like this feeling at all!

“Oy, what’s the matter? Are you crying?” Rai starts up a little. Even I have to admit, he really _does_ look concerned now that his game has gone on for so long.

“Oh, I’m just fine,” I try to keep my voice calm and I get to my feet. “Now that you’ve had your fun, I have to go home and make dinner.”

“My fun? What’s this? Are you upset?”

“No way, I’m just fine,” I turn around so he won’t see me wiping the tears from my eyes. “Just—please stop messing with me.”

“Messing with you? I’m not messing with you—don’t leave, Konoe.”

I freeze when I hear him say my name. I _love_ how it sounds when he says it. It feels like a caress to my ears, and they betray me, twitching toward the sound of his voice. But I _won’t_ stay. I _won’t_ be toyed with any longer! Really, he's no different than the cats in Karou who would tease me about my tail or about my father the musician.

“I, um, I have to go.”

I leave the woods as fast as my feet will carry me, even more confused than I was before he dragged me in.

I walk straight home—actually kind of amazed I can find my way there—go straight to my room and fall into my soft bed. I have a half an hour before I really have to start dinner, I guess.

I realize I still am covered in the silver cat's scent. I can smell him on my shirt, on my neck, on my hands—I can even taste him. Every time I move, I can smell his scent, and he smells so good to me. When I lie on my back, I can almost feel his comfortable weight on my body.

My chest aches. 

My first kiss—it was so different than I expected it would be. It was so intimate—it was like he was trying to tell me something. I expected him to be rough and demanding, like his fighting style—but it wasn’t. It certainly was confident and direct, but it was also gentle and kind, caring and almost reverent like he  _treasured_ me. 

So—if he was just playing with me, messing around with me—how could he kiss me in that way? Was that all a game, too? Maybe he's just a player.

Am I going to have to ask Dad? I don’t want to. I don't really want to talk about this with him.

Though Dad is certainly in a good mood when he comes home. I don't have music till tomorrow—and I still have that astronomy class tonight. I make dinner when I get home first. I don’t mind cooking so much. Dad cleans up, which is a great trade.

We eat together and talk about our day—his students are bright and eager to learn. I tell him about Asato and Rai, the incident with my eraser, the sparring, the staring and him playing with my tail.

Dad laughs.

“I should have taught you a little better, Konoe. You give away so much of your emotions with your tail, you know? It’s cute. He probably couldn’t resist. I hope you weren’t too hard on him.”

“I wasn’t,” I say.

When I don’t say anything else, Dad’s eyes sparkle and he asks, “Rai doesn’t happen to be that handsome white cat you noticed yesterday, does he?”

How does he know? My dropped jaw gives it away.

“I met the other Setsuran today, the tiger with the dark hair and beard. His name is Bardo, and he helped raise Rai. He works here, too. He teaches home economics and is the health teacher, and he runs the student health center.”

A small sound leaks out of my mouth.

“Konoe,” Dad asks, “Did something happen today? Something you want to ask me about?”

“Um,” I stammer, “kinda, but I don’t have time to get into it right now. I have my astronomy lab. Can we talk later?”

“Of course,” Dad says.

“Oh yeah, I think my science teacher knows you,” I’d totally forgotten to mention it.

“Yes? What’s his name?”

“Leaks. Leaks-Sensei.”

Even though I’m gathering up my bag to go out again, I notice Dad pales slightly, but his ears perk up.

“Really? Leaks? Konoe, I think I will go out for a bit this evening as well. I _do_ know him—I should probably see if he lives on campus and pay him a visit. Don’t wait up for me, okay?”

“All right.”

We both brush our teeth and our hair before we leave—both of us looking at each other strangely as we get ready. Hmm. I wonder what he is up to?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Konoe has a science class with a teacher who knows his dad, Leaks-Sensei. He also again sits between Asato and Rai--though Rai sits behind him. Konoe's tail won't be still in the class, and Rai plays with it and keeps whispering to him during class, making him all flustered--so flustered, in fact, that Konoe doesn't hear Leaks' question when he is called on in class, which gets him in trouble.
> 
> Konoe decides to confront Rai after class today, so he asks if he has time, and Rai says absolutely. Here or somewhere more private. Konoe doesn't want to embarrass Rai in front of the class, so he says somewhere more private, and Rai drags him out of the class quite suddenly--making Tokino really curious and Asato grumpy.
> 
> They end up in the secluded wooded area outside of the school--way more private than Konoe intended--and before Konoe can discuss what he wants to discuss with him, Rai kisses him (Konoe's first kiss, awww). They end up making out for a while, and then finally--Konoe says, hey, stop messing with my tail in class. Rai says, well, keep it still and I won't want to play with it.
> 
> He pays Konoe a lot of compliments to his tail, and that makes Konoe think he really is just teasing him--despite the kissing and gentleness. Konoe leaves pretty upset, almost running back to the apartment--feeling confused. He really likes Rai but can't figure out what Rai would see in him. His turn to make dinner, he tells his dad about his day--skipping the forest incident and the shower incident--and Shui seems to know that Rai is the same white cat Konoe was admiring yesterday.
> 
> Shui has met Bardo, Rai's adopted parent, the home-ec and health teacher, which is how he knows this. Then, Konoe remembers Leaks and mentions him to his dad. Shui says, "Ah, I need to meet up with him. Don't wait up for me."
> 
> They both get ready to go out--brushing their hair and their teeth--to meet Leaks (Shui) and go to an astronomy lab (Konoe).


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trigger: Non-con touching and scent-marking.

I realize I’m still a little upset when I’m on my way to my evening class. The moon of light has set, and the moon of shadow is at the horizon. The campus is very quiet, nearly deserted. I’m lost in thought, thinking about what happened in the woods after my last afternoon class.

No, I’m not thinking about _what happened._ I’m thinking about _what I did._ I put my finger on my lips, remembering how soft Rai’s felt against mine, how he treated me gently like I was something precious, something fragile, something beautiful, something to be revered. While he didn’t ask if he could kiss me, he didn’t exactly force himself on me, either.

I can still smell his scent on my neck. Did he do something to me to leave his scent on me, or is it my imagination? 

I find that my body and my heart are longing for another such meeting with the silver cat—and I try to push it from my mind. It doesn’t matter how good it felt, I think, if he was just toying with me. Perhaps he made it feel so sincere so he could break my heart later. 

And now he knows it was my _first_ kiss! What if he tells someone else? He could tell the entire class! Maybe he already has. I’m new here, and I don’t want to be known as that cat who will kiss just anyone...

And really, what was _that_ , the second time he kissed me? I think he pulled me on top of him or did I—did I push _him_ down? A little shiver goes through my body when I think about it. I’d _never_ do such a thing. Would I? I couldn’t ever overpower him, first of all. But he might allow me to—maybe he even wanted me to. And I certainly was kissing him, returning all of his fervor and more with those sounds coming out of me. And the noise I was making and couldn’t suppress—my ears blush shamefully when I remember! Gods, how _embarrassing_! I’ll _never_ live it down! How am I going to face him again after he saw me in that state? What must he think of me? That I’m some sort of sex maniac or something? What kind of cat makes sounds like that? 

Maybe my father _does_ have that sort of reputation. I’ve probably inherited it from him. There can be no other explanation. My ears are still blushing, but they droop sadly, and I sigh. I should probably prepare for the gossip. 

Suddenly, my arm is grabbed rather forcefully, and I’m pulled violently from the sidewalk into a poorly lit area. I’ve been walking next to the science building, and this is the area between the science and math buildings. It’s well-lit but shady and cool during the day, and most Ribika would be able to see just fine here at this time of day, but my eyes aren’t very good with night vision. Plus I haven’t been paying attention, just staring at the well-lit sidewalk below my feet. Now, it’s too dark. 

I’m pushed roughly against the building, a dark figure hovering above me. My ears flatten fearfully, and I start to shake.

Why am I quivering like some helpless country hick? I’m a Karou cat! I can fight!

I try to unfreeze my body and struggle with the dark cat holding me against the wall. He’s much taller than me, and his arms are longer than mine. Also—it becomes apparent that he is much stronger, too, once I start struggling against him. 

“Konoe,” a soft voice says. I recognize it from class.

“Asato?” I ask. I’m confused. “What are you doing? Let me go!”

“No,” Asato says. “I need to talk to you.” 

“I won’t leave. You can just ask me to talk to you,” I say, still pushing against him, fruitlessly. 

“You say you won’t, yet you still struggle.”

“You’re _hurting_ me!” I exclaim. He is—the grip on my arm is very powerful.

“Oh—I’m sorry.” Asato releases his hand from my upper arm, and I rub it with my opposite hand. It’s surely going to leave a bruise.

“I have class,” I say. “What did you want to discuss?”

“Yes, I do, too. That nighttime class—as-te-ro-no-my. I think we just look at the stars.”

I guess that is a good description of it. “I think we study the constellations and their movement.”

“Movement? The stars move?” Asato looks at me.

“Of course. Slowly, from our perspective, of course.”

“Konoe is very smart,” Asato says.

“Not particularly,” and then I realize I’ve said that aloud.

“Why would you say that? You are a very smart and very beautiful cat, and you fight very well. I heard that not one student was able to disarm the mean white cat last year.”

“He isn’t mean,” I say instantly—and then I wonder, wait, why am I defending him? He was terribly cruel to me today, wasn’t he?

“Konoe, do you love the white cat?”

“Wh-what?” I ask. “N-no! I only just met him today! Wh-why would you ask me something like that?!”

“You are always watching him in class, and I saw how you looked at his body in the shower,” Asato says.

My ears deepen their blush. I’m thankful it’s so dark here, so he can’t see their color.

“I-I-I... it wasn’t that,” I stammer. “I’ve never seen a white cat, and I’ve never really spent much time around other cats besides my father, so I’m awkward, plus Rai is very large and happened to be taking a shower next to me, and I was afraid I’d hurt him in our sparring...”

All of these things are _technically_ true, but it isn’t the entire truth. In truth, I was simply captivated. Asato seems to guess this, however. I can see his dark blue eyes glinting in the dark.

“Konoe is very considerate. Especially since that silver cat _hurt_ you.”

“He didn’t hurt me—” I start, but I feel Asato’s hand pressing against my lower back, sliding down my waist and hip, right along that bruise. It _hurts_ , and I wince. Plus I don’t like him touching me there—it’s not normal to touch a stranger’s butt like that, is it?

“See? You are hurt!”

“It’s a bruise, Asato! Of course, it going to hurt if you press on it! I told you I fell on an exposed root of a tree when we were sparring!”

“You could have broken something, Konoe! He should treat you more delicately,” Asato says, stroking my ears.

Rai did, in fact, treat me more delicately. _Much_ more delicately—like I was something fragile and special and precious—out there in the woods. But I’m not going to say that.

“Asato, if you and I were sparring and I thought you were taking it easy on me because of my size, I’d be pissed!” I exclaim. “I don’t like it when people underestimate me just because of my smaller stature. I would have said something if it was too much! I had more fun than I have in a long time, too.”

“So... you _like_ him?” Asato says.

“I like sparring with him, yes,” I say, a little hesitant.

The black cat leans over me suddenly, smelling my neck and jaw.

“Why do you smell like him?” I see Asato’s fur bristle on his ears, and the fine fur on his tail puffs out. “Did he—did he _touch_ you? When you asked to talk to him privately? Did he take _advantage_ of you? Did he hold you down and _do_ something to you? I can see his desire for you in his eyes, Konoe! Stay away from him!”

Desire for me? That can’t be true, I think. What is he talking about? I’m sure Rai was only teasing me. And then, I look at the black cat in front of me. He is frightening, all puffed out like this and growling. My ears are flattened against my head. I do not understand why _he_ is upset. Why does he even care? How is any of this his business? He’s almost acting like he is jealous! 

“Don’t let him touch you, Konoe!” Asato pushes his body against mine, and my back flattens against the wall. I swallow thickly and drop my face. I feel Asato’s nose and lips brush my neck and jaw, tracing the places Rai kissed and licked me earlier like he is replacing Rai’s scent with his own. Asato’s touch is aggressive—it isn’t soft and gentle—it’s demanding and possessive, which comes as a surprise to me. He sounds so gentle. But his jealousy comes through in his touch, and I’m afraid. 

“Asato—please—stop this,” I whisper quietly.

“Why? Do you wish to be the silver cat’s _possession_? He won’t treat you how you deserve!” I can hardly breathe, crushed between Asato’s body and the wall behind me. “I would treat you well! You should choose me, Konoe.”

My ear is licked, since I won’t raise my face, and shivers course through my body, a mix of excitement and fear. I can’t believe this is happening!

And then it occurs to me—maybe they are in on this together—Rai and Asato—they act like they hate each other, but perhaps they work together to haze the new kid! That is the only thing that makes sense! Because there is no way I would be attacked more than once in a single day, and on my first day at this school! 

All my life in Karou, I was told I was weird. I was the cat with the ugly hooked tail. My ears were too big, my fur was a funny color. The other kittens would always tease me, saying mean things.

 

> “Your fur would be pretty if it was white, but you look like you’ve been dragged through the mud!” 
> 
> “Were you born with that broken tail? You should go to the Void forest and see if you can’t break it off at the tip! Then it would be better-looking than that hooked mess!”
> 
> “What’s up with the size of your ears? You look like a baby!”
> 
> “I guess it’s to be expected from a runt like you, with no parents to speak of. Your mom probably killed herself after giving birth to you!”
> 
> “Yeah, and his dad is never home because he can’t stand the sight of him!”

That was the _last_ time I spent any time with any kittens my age. It was shortly after Dad had started traveling, and he had left me on my own. I was only five. He taught me how to prepare food and fend for myself, leaving me with plenty of supplies, making sure I was fast enough to run away and lock myself in the house in case of emergency. No one in the village would help us.

As I grew older, I collected food myself, protected and increased our territory, defended myself against any neighborhood pests—some were the now older kittens who had teased me in my youth. I ignored their taunts, and I taught them a lesson when they needed it—when they crossed the line.

“Stop it,” I say, and my voice increases in volume. “Stop it, stop it, _stop it_! Don’t _touch_ me!”

I am shouting now, and I have wrenched my way out of the black cat’s grip, and he looks—not surprised, but hurt. Hurt? Why? _I_ should be hurt! I’m the one being bullied! 

“Why are you looking at me like that?” I ask. “You need to quit messing with me! You and that silver cat both! I may be new here, but I _won’t_ be pushed around! You cannot manhandle me however you like—not without my permission!” 

I pick up the bag I dropped earlier and walk back out to the sidewalk, heading toward the front of the science building. We are to meet outside the main doors.

Of course, Rai is in this class, too. He keeps trying to meet my eye, but I stand close to Tokino, ducking behind him.

“What’s the matter? Did something happen?” Tokino asks. I see his nostrils flare. He notices that I’m shying away from both the white and black cats.

“I’ll tell you later,” I say with a sigh.

Our teacher is a weird guy, Bojyo-Sensei, is dressed in flowing robes. All of our other teachers have been wearing modern clothing or suits, but Bojyo isn’t. He even has a decorated face mask attached at his waist. He himself doesn’t look that old, but his dress makes him look like a relic. He’s a steel gray cat with messy hair and fur.

“Welcome, dear students,” Bojyo announces, his voice cheerful and excited. “You will have an enjoyable evening tonight as you get to know this great night above you. We can learn a lot from it. As the semester progresses, we will not only learn more about the sky but about ourselves as well.”

He looks into the eyes of each student, and they linger on mine. His eyes are a pale green, and the pupils narrow into slits. 

“Ah, this will be an interesting semester indeed,” he smiles at me, adding softly, “Welcome, son of Shui.”

I nod my head. This is the first time the class has met, so I wonder how he recognizes me out of everyone here.

“I’ve heard he’s very odd,” Tokino whispers. “Don’t let him get to you.”

We are led as a group to the grassy field behind the school where the light is the lowest, and I can’t see a thing. My eyes are still not used to the dark. I am trying to follow Tokino, and I trip over something—a large rock, it seems—and nearly fall, but someone catches my arm and keeps me from falling. I recognize the grip—it’s the same hand that caught me in the shower today, Rai. Why is he following me? And damn it, he did help me. Is he being kind or messing with me? I can’t tell.

“Be careful,” he whispers.

“Ah, uh, thank you,” I reply.

"Are you avoiding me?" he asks.

"Um, not really," I say.

It’s very dark out here, but I can partly make out the students opening up blankets on the grass—did I need to bring one? Shit, I didn’t know, and I feel my ears heating up. I’ll be fine in the grass, I guess.

“What, did you forget to bring a blanket with you? Don’t get grass stains on your uniform. Share mine. You won’t take up much space,” Rai helps me to stand by my arm, but gently, guiding me toward the edge of the students. 

“Why out here?” I ask nervously.

“I’m tall and I want more room to stretch out my legs,” Rai explains patiently while spreading out his blanket, which is either dark blue or black in color. He sits down and pats the space next to him.

“Sit.”

I guess I can't really get out of this now. I shrug my shoulders, cross my legs and sit down next to him. 

Bojyo-Sensei is instructing us to just relax and stare up into the stars for now, as if it were our first time seeing the night sky. I take a few deep breaths and lie down, trying to keep my body small and confined to a corner of the blanket, but I can feel the heat from Rai’s body next to me, and he does not make the same effort not to touch me.

“You don’t see well in the dark,” he states.

I try to suppress a small surprised sound. How could he tell? 

“You tripped—on that huge rock. At first, I thought you might just be distracted, but I realized you were straining your eyes to watch the other students when they were setting up. Poor night vision is unusual for Ribika. You track and predict movement very well, after all. I noticed while we were sparring.”

Is that a compliment? I sigh.

“It’s nothing to be ashamed of,” Rai says. “It fits you.”

I sigh again, more exaggeratedly this time. He chuckles a little at my response.

“You disagree.”

“I just want to be like everyone else.”

“Why? Wouldn’t that be terribly boring?”

I glance in his direction, and he is looking at me—from quite close up again.

“You’re _supposed_ to be looking at the stars,” I point out.

“How can I be expected to do something like that,” Rai whispers, “when there is something ever so much more fascinating right _next_ to me?”

His voice rumbles softly in my ears. It really does feel like a touch, and I feel a little shiver rushing through me. I think he whispered in my ear since I feel a little bit of the fur inside my ear moving around in response to his breath. It makes me shiver.

“Don’t say stuff like that!” I hiss, embarrassed.

“Why?”

Indeed—why not?

“I _know_ you’re just toying with me—you and Asato both—” and I feel a hand grabbing my chin suddenly and roughly. A sharp breath escapes my mouth—fear or something else?

"What do you mean, toying with you? Do you _ever_ listen to what others say? And what did that black cat do to you? I knew I could _smell_ him on you!” The silver cat is hissing at me, his voice in a whisper.

“Wh-?” I’m intimidated.

“He touched you, didn’t he? On the way to class? Did he kiss you?”

“N-no,” which is technically not a lie.

“So, why do I smell him on you?”

“He pulled me off the sidewalk into an unlit area, and he had me backed against the wall. He says you are dangerous.”

“And he marked you with his scent—how?” Rai’s voice is low and growling.

“He may have licked me—but he thought you had hurt me, deliberately, while we were sparring.”

“He licked you!? That’s not his business, even if I had!” Finally, my chin is released. I glance at Rai, who is staring up at the sky.

“Technically, it would be _my_ business, wouldn’t it?”

There’s a small pause, and Rai doesn’t look at me, but after a while, he asks, “Did I scare you? When I touched you and kissed you? Did you hate it?” 

“No,” I answer honestly before I can stop myself, and then I shove both my hands over my mouth to keep anything else from coming out unbidden, and I realize he’s watching me.

“Were you planning on saying something else?” Rai asks, a smirk playing on his lips.

“Y-yes,” I stammer. “Er, n-not really.”

“You’re a terrible liar, and it’s adorable. I rather like that about you, Konoe.”

My name! My fur fluffs out when he says it—all on its own, all by reflex. Why does it do that? I see him glancing at my ears and tail.

“Adorable and enchanting,” he turns to his side. “Are you sure you’re not doing this on purpose?”

“I-I’m not doing _anything_!” I sputter.

“Hush, now. Don’t disturb the other students. It would be inconvenient if they started staring over here right now, in any case.” 

“Why?” What are you planning to do to me? I want to ask.

“You just concentrate on the assignment. Get to know the sky.” I feel his arm snake around my neck, subtly giving me a nice place to rest my head. A shiver goes down my back, and when his fingers start to stroke my ears, another shiver travels down my spine and into my tail. It fluffs out even more.

 _All_ he is doing is rubbing my ears—just gently. It feels _so_ good and relaxing. In an instant, I hear myself purring. I want to stop—in fact, I try to stop—especially when the students next to us giggle. Occasionally those long slender fingers, claws drawn, gently brush through my hair, and the sky—it looks so _pretty_. Even prettier than it did a few minutes ago. I’ve never seen the stars sparkle so brightly or look so gorgeous. They look so pretty, in fact, that a few tears spring into my eyes. I don’t even notice when they escape my eyes and slide down my cheeks.

Those hands keep massaging me, gently and deliberately, and my body is completely relaxed. I just ignore everyone around me and relax into my purr. He pulls me a little closer to him, and I feel myself curling up beside his body. He could easily do more to me, but he doesn’t—just keeps massaging my ears.

I’m supposed to be getting to know the night sky, and as gorgeous as it is, I can no longer keep my eyes open. I feel my eyelids getting heavy and they slowly drift closed, and I start pushing my nose onto his shoulder, relaxing into his touch, in that scent. All the fear and anxiety I felt this afternoon—the fear he was only playing with me—dissolves into the night sky. I don’t even think about that now.

I drift off into a sound slumber, purring loudly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Konoe makes his way to his evening astronomy lab, lost in thought when he is waylaid by Asato. Asato is rather aggressive--wanting to know where Rai took him, if he hurt him, if Konoe loves Rai, all these questions, and he starts licking Konoe's neck and ears in a dark alley (because this is Sisa, and schools have dark back alleys, I guess).
> 
> Konoe gets pissed and yells at him, hurting his feelings, because he's convinced both Asato and Rai are in on their hazing game together.
> 
> He finds Tokino at the astronomy lab, and they meet their teacher, a weird guy named Bojyo, dressed like a shaman. He leads the students out into the grassy glade away from the lights of the school, where their assignment is to "get to know the night sky."
> 
> Konoe can't see in the dark, and he trips while he is walking, and Rai catches him--of course. He also offers to share his blanket since he "won't take up much space," and Konoe didn't think to bring one. Rai mentions he can tell he can't see in the dark very well, but he shouldn't be embarrassed about it. Konoe is awkward, saying he wishes he were normal. Rais says he thinks that would be boring. Then he asks Konoe if he hated to be kissed by him earlier. Konoe says no, but is surprised by his own honesty. Rai laughs and pets his ears.
> 
> Konoe really likes how it feels and notices the sky looks a lot prettier that way. He ends up purring pretty loudly and going to sleep next to Rai.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> From Rai's point of view. (If you haven't noticed, Rai has not lost his eye at this point of the story.)
> 
> Konoe has fallen asleep in class, and he has to decide what to do with him. Non-con kiss (a chaste one or two), and some dirty thoughts.

**Rai:**

How can anyone sleep here, in front of so many others? Just how tired, how relaxed, how  _exhausted_ would _I_ have to be, in order to let my guard down like this kitten has done right here, in order to relax like he has and curl up and fall asleep like he has?

He really _must_ be telling the truth when he says he hasn’t spent time around other cats!

I’d never be able to let my guard down. But somehow—what is _wrong_ with me? What is this sound? Am I—am I _purring_? It’s soft, much quieter than that ridiculous racket he is making—the purr loud enough to be heard across the entire field.  You'd have to be deaf not to hear it.

And he’s somehow managed to wrap that tail of his around mine. It feels nice. He’s warm and soft—despite how fast he was this afternoon, and despite that tight, compact little body I saw and can't stop thinking about in the shower—it’s strange. When he’s relaxed like this, he’s a different cat.

Oh, shit!

Here comes Bojyo-Sensei. Should I wake the kitten? I really don’t want to.

“Ah,” the teacher looks down at the kitten curled up next to me. “I saw this last night, in the stars. You should let him sleep. His kind needs to bond.”

“His kind? Because he’s from Karou?” I ask. He seemed to know the kitten when he first laid eyes on him today. 

“No, not because of where he was born,” the teacher gazes at the sleeping kitten and then meets my eyes meaningfully. “It’s because of what he _is_.”

“What he is?” I can’t help asking. It just comes out of my mouth. I don't usually hold meaningless conversations with odd instructors, but I can't seem to help myself.

“Can’t you _feel_ it yourself? Aren’t you _paired_ with him yet?”

 _Paired_ with him? Paired—does he mean—paired like Touga and Sanga? Does he mean Konoe is a _Sanga_?

My eyes fly open wide at the suggestion, and Bojyo-Sensei smiles.

“Don’t wake him. Let him sleep. If he trusts you enough to sleep so soundly that he purrs that loudly, you should let him rest.”

Is that really why he was able to sleep? Because he trusts me? Why would he? I don't understand.

I stare into the sky above me, and it looks different tonight. It’s actually strangely beautiful, full of promise and hope. I’m _excited_ about tomorrow—especially about sparring with this new student and getting him to blush or cornering him—alone. 

When I pulled the kitten out of the classroom today, I did not have pure intentions. I knew exactly what I wanted. I’d seen him staring at me all day today, and there’s only so much of that I’m willing to take.

It isn’t as though _no one_ has looked at me in that way before, because I get those looks all the time. Last year, and even still, that orange tabby casts his eyes toward me with a similar desire. But there is something different about this kitten.

First—he is so direct. It’s almost as though it’s his first time out of the house—he’s never hidden his feelings from anyone before. So he’s easy to read. His feelings are right out in the open—on his face, in his ears—even in the _color_ of his ears and the way they move and twitch—and in his tail if he isn’t looking my way. He just is so damned earnest. I’ve never met anyone quite so earnest and yet so pure. 

Sure, that annoying Kiran cat is earnest, too, but he is as far from pure as you can get.

Second, his proportions are all wrong. Well, not exactly wrong. I glance down at the ears resting on my shoulder. Those ears are entirely too big for his head, his eyes are too large. Those features make him look like a child still growing into himself. And because his tail is always moving, it looks longer than it is—but honestly, when it's still, it’s well-proportioned to the rest of him. Plus, it has that interesting hook at the end. I want to touch it.

Third, his energy—he has so much energy compacted into such a small form. When he speaks, the energy inside him squeezes out just a little at a time, and he won’t release it all at once. More comes out in the way he fights—in short, surprising bursts, making our sessions fun and unpredictable—but if he really _is_ a Sanga, I would believe it. I can sense that excess energy welling up inside him, straining to get out. There’s a strange light in his eyes, and it’s probably what makes his tail move and his ears twitch incessantly. He might call it “emotion,” I suppose, but I don’t understand that so much. 

To be honest, I think it’s that energy that captivates me. It’s something I don’t have as much of, unless I fight, and mine looks very different. I want to know everything about his, what it looks like when it comes out—what it might look like if he let that energy out in spades—what different faces he'd make, what different sounds he'd make. I heard some in the woods, and I am even more curious.

I thought he might be holding himself back—but when I kissed him, he first responded with such innocence. Such shock and surprise that anyone would touch him like this, that anyone would _want_ to kiss him. Where has he been that no one has tried it before? I can't believe his orange tabby friend hadn't tried something, frankly. He must have been holed up inside, protected by his father, a loving parent, saving him from the outside world. Or else his village was extremely isolated. 

But the second time we kissed, _he_ responded. I gave him a gentle nudge, and not only did he kiss me back, but he actually pushed me down to the ground, climbing on top of me with the speed and agility I’d expect. It shocked me, frankly—and delighted me—and when I remember it now, pleasing little shivers travel down my back into my tail, and it fluffs out in response.

I can hardly stand having him lying on me and still restrain myself when I remember. His fervor was something to be reckoned with. It _thrilled_ me. But does he realize it was _all_ him—after my small nudge? Or does he think I pulled him on top of me? I wonder. I wonder if he’s thinking about it. I’d guess he probably is. 

I can’t help smiling, and I cannot wait for class tomorrow. I cannot wait to tease him and distract him—because I am good at multi-tasking, and one thing I learned today is that he is very _focused_. And that means he is easily distracted. 

It isn’t that I want to get him in trouble. I don’t. I just love to watch his ears turn pink, and I love to see that blush scatter on his cheeks and neck—which makes me wonder how much of his body _actually_ blushes—and another shiver bristles my tail when I think of this.

Wait a second. Is _this_ what the old man has been nagging me about? All these years, he’s been harping on me about “falling in love” with someone? Is _this_ what he means?

Ugh—no. He can’t have been right—I won’t admit it. I just like to see this kitten flustered. I like how he looks when he’s blushing. I like it when he looks at me and pays me attention. And I have this urge to touch him. That’s _all_ this is. And now, I’m curious about that pent-up energy. 

Part of me wonders what it would look like if he released that pent-up energy inside him all at once, in one go—what would that _sound_ like? I would want to witness that. Is that what his Sanga song would look like? Or... would it be something more like what he was doing in the forest? That would be pretty damned hot. So unrestrained and vulgar!

Why didn’t he resist when I touched his ears just now? Why did he let me touch him like that? We were in front of the entire class. Shouldn’t he have been flustered and embarrassed? He wasn’t. He acted as though he liked it—no, almost like he was hypnotized.

Also, it bothers me that he smells like the black cat. Why would _that_ bother me? If it _isn’t_ what the old man was talking about, then maybe part of me knows he’s a Sanga who hasn’t sung yet, and I want him to pair with me.

Does he even know? I don’t want him to sing for anyone else. I certainly don’t want him making sounds like that—releasing his energy or emotion or whatever that was in the forest—with anyone but me, either, and I don’t want him falling asleep like this on anyone but me.

A possession? Do I see him as a possession? Like one of my belongings?

Gods, he’d _hate_ that. I smile when I think about it. I don’t know him that well, but I can imagine his expression.

But how else do I communicate that I don’t want anyone else touching him? Do I even have that right? 

I sigh deeply when I look at the sky, and beside me, a smaller deep breath is returned. Gods, he’s cute. No one is paying attention to us at the moment—jeez, that blue-haired cat is making out with a dark-haired cat tonight—shit—is that _Koujaku_? What the fuck? Didn’t he see that same cat kissing a different guy earlier? Doesn’t he care?

I’d _never_ put up with that shit. I don’t _like_ sharing.

I lean down and ever so gently lick those oversized ears resting against my shoulder. I do it _very_ gently, so as not to wake him, and I do it with my eyes open, keeping watch on the other students, who are supposed to be looking up at the stars. This is none of their concern, really. I don't want to become a topic of gossip.

The only student I notice watching me is the black cat, and he can go ahead and watch. His fur fluffs up.

I trail my tongue across the kitten’s ears languidly, while keeping my eyes glued on the black cat—because, really, what’s he going to do? _Stop_ me?

Konoe snuggles up closer to my chest, much to my surprise. I was expecting he’d resist my touch, even in his sleep. But it’s almost as if he’s accepting it, and he enjoys it, and he’s nestling even closer to me. It feels really nice, and he makes me pay attention to what I’m doing to him, rather than marking my territory in front of another cat. 

Instead, I want to make this kitten feel warm and safe—and I find myself licking his ears gently and repeatedly, and I have to stop myself. Why am I doing this? What if he wakes up? What if someone else sees me? I don’t really have any right to do this to him without his consent and permission. Just because he isn’t resisting doesn’t necessarily indicate consent. 

But right now, he is pressed fully against my chest, lying on top of me, and his tail has moved from mine to wrapping itself around my thigh—like, ridiculously high up on my leg.

“All right, class, you’ve gotten to know quite a bit about the evening sky, and about yourselves, I hope, and some of you have learned quite a bit more about each other, it seems,” a little tittering comes from Koujaku’s direction after this comment. “I will see you back here on Thursday night for our next lab. I expect you will see your classmates safely back to their homes.”

Shit—their _homes_? Where the fuck does this kitten live? I sit up carefully, and still, Konoe does not wake. The orange tabby walks up and smiles. He has a perfectly nice face, but he isn’t my type.

“He’s always done that, Konoe has. Will you be able to get him home all right, or do you need help?”

“I don’t know where he lives, but I’ll be fine if you tell me,” I answer.

“He’s in the teacher’s apartments—here on campus—building C, apartment 3.”

“Thanks.” Not far from the old man, I guess.

I cannot believe how soundly this kitten sleeps. The students are making a racket, yet he continues to sleep like he is dead to the world. It’s amazing to me. I have never slept like that—at least, not that I can remember.

I lay him back down on the blanket, and he complains a little, as though seeking warmth, curling up on his left side. I strap my bag across my back and lengthen the strap of his bag so I can carry it as well, searching for a key in the pocket. It isn’t in there. I carefully feel outside his pants’ pockets, and sure enough, a single key is in his right front pocket, so I wait a few moments for the students to clear out.

“What are you going to do to him?” I hear a soft voice behind me. I recognize it as the black cat. His steps are silent—I didn’t hear him approach.

I’d like to tell him to fuck off, that this is none of his concern, that I can do whatever I like, but I have a funny mellow feeling in my chest after grooming the kitten’s ears. Instead, I’m surprised at the words that come out of my mouth.

“Nothing. I’m just bringing him home. That’s all.”

“What gives you the right to touch him at all?” the black cat asks. He is always aggressive toward me, no matter what I do. It’s persistently irritating. 

“I don’t think it would be right to leave him here. Not when he is asleep and vulnerable. And Bojyo-Sensei told me not to wake him.” I keep my voice calm, still not going for the key. I don’t think the black cat would appreciate seeing that. 

“I’ll take him home.”

My ass, I think. You won’t touch him in my presence. You won’t even _think_ about touching him. He is _mine_. My thoughts startle me a little.

“Konoe mentioned you attacked him on the way to class,” I say casually. “You pulled him into a dark alley. He doesn’t see well in the dark, you know, and you frightened him.”

The black cat freezes. His earnestness is betraying him right at this moment, while I am able to keep my cool. I lean over and pick up the kitten’s bag, looping it over my shoulder. I crouch down, my body between Konoe and the black cat, and quickly pull the key out of his pocket.

Of course, the kitten makes a strange noise. It’s rather cute but awfully strange to hear from his mouth when he’s sleeping. I wonder if he enjoyed me touching him on his hip when I took the key. I kind of did, but I am not going to think about it. Maybe I will later after I get home. I put the key in my breast pocket and wrap the kitten up in the blanket, and then pick him up bridal style. He leans his head against my chest again and starts purring again loudly. I turn around and face the black cat, so he can see for himself how comfortable Konoe is, asleep in my arms.

“I think he will be fine with me,” I say calmly, walking right past the black cat, barely brushing his shoulder, walking toward the faculty apartments.

I try to keep my gait even, but he doesn’t wake even with my uneven steps. His purr is so loud, too. When I enter the path I was on yesterday, I hear a beautiful melody.

Someone is playing the lute. It’s a soft and tender song. No one would complain even at this late hour, because I’ve never heard anything so beautiful in my life. It brings tears to my eyes. It has no words, but the melody has a strange feeling to it. It makes me think of regret and sorrow, loss and sadness, although the song itself is full of love and tenderness.

I’ve never heard such a powerful song. The musician is a cat with wild red hair, flowing down his body in long strands. He has caramel ears tipped with white, dressed in eccentric clothing—and he seems hauntingly familiar. A strange halo of light surrounds his body, floating up into the sky like his music is making that light. I wonder—is he a Sanga? 

He sits on a tree stump, strumming his lute, surrounded by a group of apartments. Most of the lights are off—save one—and a silhouette of a cat stands at the window, watching him play. It’s a pitiful sight indeed, almost as if he is calling the cat in the window, saying, _hear my song, hear my apology._

I wonder how long he has been playing. I wonder how long the other cat has been listening.

The kitten’s building is not this one, but the next, and I don’t wish to intrude on this scene. So I deliberately lighten my footsteps and disguise my presence. But I notice the kitten ears twitch toward the sound of the music. He murmurs without opening his eyes. 

“Dad?”

Is that Shui-Sensei? I wonder. It occurs to me that I might meet his father when I drop him off, and I am not quite prepared for that. However, if that is indeed the music teacher—and it very well could be—didn’t Leaks-Sensei describe him as red-haired, earlier?—this would save me some trouble.

I reach his building, find the apartment, unlock the door and enter. It’s oddly lit with guiding leaves instead of lamps or candles, giving it a strange greenish glow. I wonder if one of these two cats harbors a fear of fire. Looking at the kitten asleep in my arms, it would certainly fit his image. He can’t see in the dark, he can’t seem to control his emotions, and he is afraid of fire. 

The house is surprisingly neat, like the one I shared for years with the old tiger. The old man has a single-room apartment now, and I’m on my own. I insisted on it when we first moved here last year. And these two only moved in yesterday. I see the remains of dinner dishes drying in next to the sink—do they share meals? 

I shouldn’t pry, but I’m curious. I’d best find the kitten’s room. I’m certain the cat playing is his father, since we are alone, and I want to see his room. I find myself burning with curiosity, wanting to see where he sleeps.

Probably not this room—it’s overflowing with music on the desk as well as a small oil lamp—much easier on the eyes for night reading, I assume. So it must be Konoe who is afraid of fire. It’s not an uncommon fear. Apparently, our ancestors were naturally afraid of fire. Our ancestors were averse to water, as well, but he certainly didn’t shy away from the showers today.

I’d better think of something else.

His room is very neat, as well. Even his bed is made. This will make it difficult to lie him down, I suppose, but he is pretty small for this giant bed. Now—do I just put him on top of the covers? When I put him down, still wrapped in the blanket, I hear another soft complaint. I can’t let him sleep like this—at least, not in his shoes. 

So, I turn down the covers on the other side of the bed.

Gods, I hope his father doesn’t come home right now. This might be hard to explain—although, if the kitten does this often enough for the merchant’s son to notice, then maybe my help would be seen as the kindness I intend it to be.

Although, that in itself is strange. Am I really doing this out of kindness? Or another reason? It almost feels like I want to protect this kitten, but I don't understand why I have that urge.

Moving carefully, I unwrap the kitten from the blanket, and it gives me a nostalgic feeling—like maybe a game I played with the old man? A holiday? What? It’s excitement, a nostalgic feeling of expectation and surprise.

As I pull off his shoes, I leave them side by side next to the chair at the desk. I’d better take off his socks, too. His toes curl up cutely when I pull his socks off, and he makes that small complaint again. Seeing his socks in my hands, I remember—of course—it’s like _Christmas_. Not many Ribika celebrate that holiday, but Bardo tried it with me when I was young. He wanted me to play and have fun. Unwrapping Konoe from that blanket and pulling off his shoes and socks reminds me of the excitement of unwrapping gifts—and oh, _gods_ , I need to think of something _else_!

He’s on his side, and I can reach his ears, so I stroke them softly, and he purrs—loudly. I literally watch as his face relaxes, and I lean in and touch his lips with mine. Lightly. Chastely.

Soft and warm. So delightfully compliant. I resist invading his mouth with my tongue, but it doesn’t curb my desire to do so. I don’t understand why I want to touch him so much!

He is not at all like he was when he was fighting. He’s different even than he was in the woods, too. He’s defenseless.

A bolt of heat surges through me like lightning when I think about about exactly _how_ defenseless he is right now, and it gives me a weird feeling. Does he _always_ sleep like this? Anyone could come in here! Anyone could see him this vulnerable! I wonder how much a person could do to him before he would wake—and another bolt of emotion shoots through me—and this one feels different than heat. It feels a little like jealousy, but it’s laced with anger and fear. Do I fear for his safety? Why? 

I need to get a grip—his dad could walk in at any moment, and I’d need to explain myself.

So—he obviously can’t sleep in that tie. I loosen it, but don’t untie it. I saw how much he struggled with it this afternoon, so I leave it tied and pull it off over his head. Then, I unbutton his shirt. I don’t see pajamas around, so I assume he sleeps like I do, or maybe in _less_. Again, I’m _really_ having issues with my thoughts wandering, and I need to _stop_. I move my fingers quickly, thinking his father might be home soon, barely taking a breath—but I can’t help noticing his muscle definition underneath his shirt and his smooth skin.

Gods, this is a _lot_ harder than I expected. I _want_ to touch him but I’m afraid I’ll wake him up. I could probably come up with a good excuse, or I could simply just kiss him and silence him. But what if he panicked? What if I frightened him?

Instead, I pull his shirt off his shoulders without touching him, carefully returning him to his back, then hang the shirt over the back of his chair, neatly laying the tie on top. I quietly unbuckle his belt, unbutton the top button of his pants, and unzip them. 

But before I slide them off his hips, I look up at his face. He is sound asleep, completely unaware of his surroundings. His jaw is relaxed and I notice that since I’ve turned him from his side to his back, his lips are slightly parted. I have an almost _overwhelming_ urge to kiss him again, but I can’t—not now. Well, I could, but I feel like I _shouldn’t_.

I don’t think I’ve ever felt like I _shouldn’t_ do something in my entire life.

It’s an odd feeling.

Instead, I continue what I’m doing—which, I remind myself, is _just_ getting him ready for bed, since he is asleep and is unable to so himself. _That_ is what I am doing here. I allow myself a quick breath and I slide off his pants. 

Jeez, these are _ridiculously_  snug. And I hear another complaint from him when I try to work them off his hips, to make things even more awkward, when I try to roll him to his side to get them off. He moves his body toward me—oh gods, is he waking up? I start to panic—and he reaches both arms out. He buries his face in my chest, when I look down I see both his hands are tangled in my hair, which has been hanging loosely in front of my body, within easy reach.

“Soft.”

I think I hear him speak. Did he say a word?

I reach my hand up and stroke his ears again, and his purr increases in volume once again, but he does not relax his grip on my hair. Thankfully, he seems to still be asleep, though. Is he dreaming? What kind of Ribika sleeps this soundly? This is _ridiculous_.

I tug on his trousers a little more firmly and finally get them off his hips—he has awfully nice hips, I think—they are surprisingly wide, come to think of it. I saw him struggling with his trousers earlier today in the locker room. They are slightly out of proportion to the rest of his body. It’s not bad, though.

Oh, shit, his underwear—I’ve pulled them down partway along with his trousers, at least in the back, so I gently tug them back up. Damn it. I can’t help myself. He’s right there, and he’s been fluffing that tail at me all day—and I can’t _ignore_ it—so I cop a very light feel right after I pull them back to where they belong. I have to get his tail in the right place again, anyway, and I smooth my hands over him lightly.  He sighs gently in response, but he snuggles up closer to me, and his tail fluffs out a little in response.

He let me stroke the base of his tail earlier today, so perhaps he wouldn’t mind if I did this just once—just gently—but I need to get away from him _right this minute_ , or I am going to do something else I shouldn’t. 

And there’s that word again. 

Damn it.

It’s annoying. _Shouldn’t_? Who _says_ I shouldn’t?

He's down to his underwear, now, but he’s still gripping my hair tightly, so I don’t get a good look at him. That’s probably all right. I still have the image of him changing so shyly in the locker room, trying to hide under a t-shirt that’s too big, and after the showers in a towel that is slipping off his slim waist but won't possibly get past his hips.

Instead, I push him gently to the other side of the bed and slide his lithe little body underneath the covers. It’s probably one of the most painful things I’ve ever done—covering something like this up after painstakingly uncovering it—but I feel like he needs to be protected. 

And again, that soft protesting sigh comes out of his mouth again, probably because the sheets are cool against his skin.

I do something weird again, without realizing it until after I’ve done it. I’m stroking his ears softly, tucking the blankets up around him, whispering, “Shhh. It’s okay. Sleep.”

What the fuck am I doing?

Why am I not taking advantage of this situation?

Instead, I’m acting like the mother I never had but probably wanted. As I stroke his ears, though, he murmurs again and rumbles with his loud purr. I use my other hand to hold one of his wrists and encourage him to release my hair, stroking it softly when he lets go. I do the same on the other hand.

“Pretty,” I hear him murmur. He is _still_ sleeping. Stupid cat! This is ridiculous.

I wonder what he could be dreaming about. But it is a huge relief to get his hands out of my hair—I rub my head for a moment—both those places where he was grabbing are slightly sore on my scalp. He was really pulling hard! I hate having my hair pulled.

He seems pretty satisfied now. I look around the room, and it’s fairly standard. Spartan, really. I don’t see any instruments, so either he hasn’t learned to play or he will be a Sanga who makes music with his voice or his body. Still, it feels cheerful and homey in here, and it sure smells nice. He only moved in yesterday, and it yet it still smells like him.

That makes me decide to leave my blanket with him. He will wake covered in my scent and realize how he got home. I roll it up, making it into a long pillow and wrap it under the kitten’s head and shoulders. To my surprise, he turns toward the blanket immediately, curling around it with a sigh, reaching out to grab it and pulling it close to his body.

So fucking cute.

I lean down one more time and lick his ears, and they stay still and relaxed, as though they expect my touch. It’s weird. Why isn’t he afraid of me?

I breathe in his scent and wonder if I should take his key with me. I check the door, after putting out the guiding leaf in his room, but I leave it next to his bed if he should need it in the night.

The front door locks from the inside, but his father is out still. He will need his key—he must have one of his own. But I can’t lock the door and close it behind me without the key. A feature, it seems, for the absent-minded professor, locking himself out of his apartment without his keys. But there is no way I’m leaving my kitten alone, vulnerable like he is, sleeping that soundly, in an apartment unlocked. I decide to take the key with me. I’ll give it back to him tomorrow.

It will be fine. I did a good thing, after all. Perhaps he may be shy, a little flustered, if he wakes up mostly undressed. Gods, if he knew how hard it was to restrain myself, I’d be flustered, too, I think. But he won’t know about that, and I’ll be busy watching him blush when he asks me for the key.

I walk out the front door, and lock the door behind me, pocketing the key. 

I realize I’m only one building away from the old man’s place. I don’t hear the musician playing anymore, either—the old man’s apartment is in the building across from there. He usually reads late into the night. I consider stopping in to see him. It's been a while.

I find myself inexplicably standing in front of the old man’s door, knocking impatiently when I look over my shoulder. The light in that apartment is still on. I see two figures inside now. It seems the musician got his answer. I figured he would. No one could resist that song, I figure.

“Who is banging on my door this time of night?”

“You look even more haggard than the last time I saw you, old man,” I say, deliberately bumping into his shoulder as I push past the tiger cat into his apartment.

“Nice to see you, Rai. It’s been a while. Come on in. Make yourself at home. Are you in trouble or something?”

Sometimes, his easy-going voice grates on my nerves, but tonight, for some reason it doesn't.

“Why do you assume I’m in trouble?”

“You never speak to me unless you absolutely have to,” he replies. “You look concerned. You look... different. Did something happen?”

I flop down on the couch. He brought that ugly old thing from Setsura. I hate the color, but it’s comfortable. I remember sleeping on it sometimes instead of my bed, in fact.

“Not really,” I say. I don’t know what I should say or how I should start the conversation.

“Rai.”

“What?” I ask, still not making eye contact.

“Why don’t you let me make you some tea, and we can talk.”

I don’t say anything, but I watch him in the kitchen, putting on the kettle, getting out the mugs—his mug, my mug—preparing his with a little sugar and mine with honey and milk, though I drink mine black everywhere but here. He even adds extra milk to mine and an ice cube to cool the temperature a little faster.

I don’t like to talk about it, but I have the cat’s tongue, as it’s called. I am sensitive to hot food. It’s like the kitten’s aversion to fire, a natural trait inherited from our ancestors, but fairly useless among Ribika today. I consider it a weakness and don’t like to discuss it.

The old man doesn’t say anything about it, though. He’s nothing if not kind, and he treats my relatively cool mannerisms with his usual laid-back behavior.

“So how do you know I wanted to talk?” I ask, holding the mug in my hands, enjoying the scent of the tea in my nose. It will still be too hot if I drink it now, I know.

“Three things. First, your timing. I don’t see you or speak to your in over two weeks, and here you are in the middle of the night and shortly after classes start. Second, you show up here with _two_ school bags, and I know one is definitely not yours.”

“What? Oh, shit! Damn it!” I look down, and sure enough, I’d completely forgotten to leave Konoe’s bag at his apartment. Fuck! “Wait. Three things? What was the third thing?” 

“Your face, just now,” Bardo says, a smirk I have grown to love, loathe, and even imitate over the years spreading over his face. “I have _never_ seen you make a face like that in your life. I’m more than eager to hear what you have to say, Rai, and I am almost _certain_ I can help. I even think I know exactly what is going on. And it’s about damned _time_!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rai lets Konoe sleep on him--and this chapter is mostly his confused running thoughts about the new kitten in his class.
> 
> Bojyo hints to him that he should let him sleep, and also that Konoe is a Sanga, and that part of Rai probably knows this--hence, his attraction.
> 
> Rai lets Konoe sleep through the class--noticing that Aoba (we don't know this is Aoba yet) is making out with a different cat, his friend Koujaku tonight, which bugs him. In fact, it bugs him that Konoe smells like Asato. So he starts grooming his ears while he's sleeping--gently, so he doesn't wake him up. He sees that Asato is watching him, and so he does it to show off at first, but when Konoe starts cuddling back, Rai enjoys it, and starts ignoring the black cat and gets a bit of a warm feeling in his chest.
> 
> Asato confronts him about what he's doing with Konoe, and Rai keeps his cool, saying I'm just taking him home. (He finds out where Konoe lives from Tokino.)
> 
> Rai carries him home, and sees Shui singing outside someone's apartment--and he thinks Shui might be a Sanga.
> 
> Rai undresses Konoe and puts him to bed--he is a gentleman, for the most part, but is basically at war with himself--and then takes Konoe's key with him, leaving his blanket there, so Konoe will wake up with Rai's scent on him.
> 
> He also stops by to visit Bardo on his way home, mainly because he feels confused. Bardo realizes this the minute Rai steps inside because he hasn't seen him in a while, and apparently, Rai forgot to drop off Konoe's bag--so he is carrying both bags, still.
> 
> Very unlike him to be so distracted.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bardo's point of view (this was fun to write!).
> 
> Trigger warnings: mentions of sex.

**Bardo:**

I was about to get up to make myself some tea, enjoying my latest book—one about our ancestors—when there’s an impatient rap at the door. If I’m not mistaken, I recognize it. It’s the prodigal son returned—though quite late for him to make an appearance. However, he is not entirely unexpected, since it’s the beginning of the year, and there are a few new students this year. I wonder...  

When I open the door, I let the words slip casually from my tongue.

“Who is banging on my door this time of night?”

“You look even more haggard than the last time I saw you, old man,” he returns. He’s grown even taller these past two weeks, slender and muscular, like his father, except for that long hair and his striking blue eyes, which are exactly like his mother. Rai is a heartbreakingly attractive cat.

“Nice to see you, Rai. It’s been a while. Come on in. Make yourself at home. Are you in trouble or something?” I keep my voice easy going and let him brush my shoulder gently when he steps inside. I don’t mind the touch, actually— _any_ kind of touch is good from him. It means he needs something. He rarely needs anything from me these days. 

“Why do you assume I’m in trouble?” He sounds offended, and I can’t help smiling.

“You never speak to me unless you absolutely have to,” I reply, taking in his appearance more carefully this time. He looks hot and bothered, he is mysteriously carrying _two_ school bags, his tail is raised at the base, swishing back and forth agitatedly, and his hair is a _mess_ like someone has pulled it or he has been in a scuffle. “You look concerned. You look... different. Did something happen?” 

“Not really,” he lies, flopping down on the couch. He seems uncomfortable, as though he is out of his element.

Immediately, I wonder if he has met someone. I hope he hasn’t fought with him, though that would be his natural approach.

“Rai.”

“What?” Oddly, the boy will not make eye contact. I sigh. How can I break the ice and start a natural conversation? When did things become so strained between us?

“Why don’t you let me make you some tea, and we can talk,” I suggest.

He stays in his pouty mood, watching me from the couch as I prepare the tea. I have seen him take his tea black in the cafeteria, but here, he prefers milk and honey. I add sugar to mine and give him an extra ice cube to cool it down, so he won’t burn his tongue. I wonder if he is still sensitive about that. I bring him his tea and sit down across from him.

“So, how do you know I wanted to talk?” he asks, that fluffy tail of his swishing back and forth, giving away his feelings.

“Three things. First, your timing. I don’t see you or speak to your in over two weeks, and here you are in the middle of the night and shortly after classes start. Second, you show up here with two school bags, and I know one is definitely _not_ yours.”

“What? Oh, shit! Damn it! Wait. _Three_ things? What was the third thing?” He is flustered, most definitely _flustered_. Gods, it’s simply _adorable_.

“Your face, just now. I have _never_ seen you make a face like that in your life. I’m more than eager to hear what you have to say, Rai, and I am almost _certain_ I can help. I even think I know exactly what is going on. And it’s about damned _time_!” I’m so filled with relief I can hardly stand it! The boy is finally in _love_!

“Wh-what?” With his eyes wide, his stammering is just too cute. His fluffy tail freezes for a moment. “What are you even talking about, old man?”

Okay, so maybe he’s not _that_ cute.

“Oy, oy, I’m not _that_ old. If you’re here, you should be a little nicer to me. You _do_ want my help, don’t you?”

He presses his lips together for a moment. For a second, he considers putting down his tea, getting up, and leaving. Does he hate me that much? What the hell? He really is going through a rough stage!

Finally, he sighs.

“So, what is it that you think you know, then?” He casts his eyes at me sideways.

“Why don’t you tell me about that bag, first?” I ask casually, leaning back in my chair, crossing my legs and getting comfortable.

He spins a surprisingly long story—starting with the astronomy class, but he goes into a surprisingly amount of detail about how he first met this new student—Konoe, the son of the new music teacher, Shui.

I met Shui today as well. He’s a handsome fellow. I was wondering what Rai might think of his son, and I’m quite excited. His description of him seems a little strange: small and compact, and filled with energy that he hides from the world. Huh, it does sound like he got hit pretty hard—and it’s still a week out from the mating season. I wonder—does the school do that deliberately? Start a week prior to the mating season to let the kids get to know each other a little bit first? Isn’t that even more awkward?

Then, in the locked room, he helped him with his tie.

“So, he got dressed next to you, then,” I say. That wouldn't have been a problem for the young white cat. He has always been comfortable with his body. In his youth, he would often walk around naked, and I would have to remind him to put clothes on before going out in public.

“Yes,” Rai says firmly, but strangely, he won’t meet my eye, which is unusual. His tail is also moving in a strange eight-shaped pattern, indicating that something probably happened he doesn't want to discuss.

“Did something happen?”

“Um, not really, though—um, he’s a surprisingly good fighter,” he is smoothly changing the subject, I notice, and now meets my eye boldly, eyes bright and excited. “Coach Mizuki paired us up for sparring, and he was able to disarm me three times! He took my dagger twice and my longsword once. I couldn't even see him coming the first time, he moved that fast, Bardo! He’s small but _very_ fast! He has been sword training—and actually defending territory—since he was young. He uses the trees in the forest to compensate for his height, too!”

I haven’t seen Rai this excited about anything since he was very young. Does he _really_ have a crush on this cat, or is he merely excited about having a sparring partner? I’m confused.

“So he is a great fighting partner, then. Is that what you’re excited about?”

“Well, he _is_ a great sparring partner,” Rai says.

“I still don’t understand how you ended up with his bag.”

“Oh, yeah. Um, look.” Rai takes a key out of his breast pocket.

“What is that?”

“It’s the key to his apartment.”

“Where did you get that?” I ask, and now I’m a little concerned. Shui was very kind, but he absolutely _dotes_ on his boy. “Um, why do you have Konoe’s key _and_ his bag?”

Understand, I have _faith_ in my young kitten—but—well, he doesn’t understand things most usual cats do. He overlooks moral and ethical issues from time to time. I have done my best teaching him, but for some reason, the concept of doing something for the common good, if it is in inconvenient or because it has always been done that way, is _not_ appealing to this boy. I’m not sure if it’s a moral failure, or if it’s because his parents were so strict. Either way, these lessons do not make sense to him. 

When he was young, and he was on the outside observing, he could understand things easily enough. But when asked to participate, he often would shirk responsibility and try to get out of things, frequently in sneaky or surprisingly naughty ways. Otherwise, he was quite compliant and docile.

But when I see him with another cat’s bag and a key, I have to wonder—what has he done to this cat? He’s Setsuran, after all. He could probably take whatever he wanted from a smaller cat, and the way he has described him, Konoe _is_ a smaller breed, even if he is fierce.

“Oh, so—we had astronomy together. Konoe must have been tired, and he forgot to bring a blanket. He shared mine, and he fell asleep on me.”

“He did? On _top_ of you?” I ask. I find this hard to believe.

“Well, _next_ to me. Bojyo-Sensei suggested I let him sleep. His exact words were, ‘his kind needs to bond.’”

“Bond?” Bojyo used to be a shaman, I know, and he speaks in riddles sometimes.

“I was confused, too, but Bojyo seemed to know him, or at least recognize him. He indicated to me that Konoe is a Sanga.”

“A Sanga? You’re kidding! I’ve heard Shui is also a Sanga, but he gave it up to raise his boy. It’s likely his son will inherit his traits, if Shui is a genuine Sanga.” 

“I had a weird feeling about him when I was in the woods with him earlier, and he was making these strange sounds when we were kissing—” Rai suddenly stops speaking and looks up at me. He then suddenly looks right back down into his tea. I haven’t seen him make this guilty expression in many years. He accidentally spilled something he hadn’t intended to share with me. And there's the crazy-eight pattern wave of his tail again.

“Wait for a second,” I say. “In the woods? What sounds? And you didn’t mention anything about _kissing_. You move pretty fast, don’t you think?” I keep my voice light, almost teasing, but don’t say anything else. I just wait. He’ll talk when he’s ready.

He sighs after a few minutes and takes a sip of his tea.

“He’d been _staring_ at me all day, and he was doing this thing with his tail— _beckoning_ me—all through the last class. I couldn’t help myself, and I may have touched it once or twice.”

It was probably _more_ than once or twice, from the guilty look on his face.

“He seemed a little annoyed, but if he was really so bothered, why did he keep waving it around in that way, begging to be caught? When he asked if he could talk to me after our last class, I said I’d love to—thinking he was asking to go somewhere with me. I asked if he wanted to take our conversation somewhere more private, and he said yes. I took that to mean... well, you know—he was _interested_.”

“I see. Was he—er, interested?” I’m worried—just a little. What did Rai do? I strive to keep my face and voice neutral, and I succeed.

“Well, he seemed really surprised when I kissed him, at first—like, _why_ was I doing this—more like, why would _anyone_ be interested in him like this? But then, I kissed him a second time, and I really only gave him a little bit of a nudge, and he totally kissed me back. I mean—he totally  _jumped_ me! He pushed me to the ground before I knew what was happening, but I don’t think he even realized what he was doing! It was totally hot!!”

Frankly, I’m stunned to hear any of this. I’m relieved on several counts—I mean, talk about a late bloomer! Rai had his first heat last year, and I couldn’t even get him to leave his apartment. He was miserable! And now, the way he’s talking is so completely different—I’ve _never_ heard him like this—he sounds like—well, he sounds like his mother before she met his father. Really. Light-hearted, almost. Plus, it sounds like they just kissed, and that's totally fine. It sounds like the musician's son was even into it.

“What are you grinning about? You think this is funny?” Rai sounds angry again.

“No! I’m just—I’m just _happy_ for you, Rai.”

“Happy? Why happy? I’m in a miserable and confused place! You haven’t helped me at _all_!” 

“Oh, that’s right. So—tell me. You kissed him, he kissed you—then what?”

“Well, he got mad. He acted like he thought I was messing him.” 

“Messing with him?”

“Yeah. He was really embarrassed—and I mean, he _really_ got into the kissing—I mean, I shouldn’t say too much because it would be ungentlemanly—but he didn’t do anything I disliked. In fact, I really can’t stop thinking about it! But still, he was embarrassed and seemed to think I was just playing with him. I don’t know if I said or did something wrong, but he left angry. It was upsetting.”

“Ah, I see. Was it—do you know—if it was his first experience? I mean, with kissing?”

“It was. And he was awkward and avoiding me when I saw him at our evening class, but I caught his arm when he tripped—he doesn’t see well in the dark. I offered to share my blanket, too. He was just going to lie in the grass, and he agreed right away. I guess I rubbed his ears a little when he was lying so close next to me. But to be fair, he seemed so tense, and his ears are so weirdly large—and they were _right_ _there_ —and I should have asked, but no one saw, and he didn't seem to mind or ask me to stop, and he just kind of leaned into it, started purring and drifted right off to sleep.”

“So—you pet his ears and he went to sleep? And he didn’t wake up?” I have to confess, I’m rather enjoying Rai’s confused retelling of events. Not only is it cute, I think it’s the most he’s spoken to me in months.

“No—he sleeps like the dead. Even when the class ended and everyone packed up, he didn’t wake up.”

The young white cat is pursing his lips slightly, which means he hasn’t told me everything. I wonder if Rai realizes that his tail gives away when he is hiding something from me. That’s perfectly all right. It will come out in the end if it’s important. I quirk my eyebrows slightly and nod my chin. 

“How did you find out where he lived?”

“The orange tabby—the merchant’s son—he told me.”

“And he had a key on him?”

“Yes.”

“Did you meet Shui?”

“No. I think I saw him outside in the next complex over, though. The apartment was empty.”

“Ah.” I wait for a moment. The white cat looks like he wants to say something else. I’d better prompt him. “Did something distract you so much that you forgot to leave his bag?”

“Yes.”

I wait. What could it have been? And what is this expression on his face? Is that... guilt? Oh, gods. Shui wasn’t here, and the kitten was _asleep_. What did he _do_ to him??

“Rai.” 

“What.”

I don’t want to make him feel worse than he already does, but if he needs to apologize for his behavior, then he should.

“Remember, we’ve talked about consent.”

“Yes.” He looks miserable, and his eyes are cast down to the floor, his tail is drooping sadly now.

“Especially because you are a large breed, you need to be _very_ careful to get consent before you relate to other cats sexually. Ideally, _all_ cats should do this, regardless of their size and gender.We want to aim for safe, sane, and consensual, right? It assures pleasure for _all_ involved, and that is what makes sex the most fun—when your partner has a good time.”

“Yes, I know.” He still won’t meet my gaze, which worries me. Do I need to ask what happened?

“Rai, did something happen in the apartment that made you forget to leave Konoe’s bag?” I keep my voice very gentle.

“I-I thought I was doing the right thing,” he stammers. Pale blue eyes suddenly meet mine, desperate, almost hopeful, aiming for approval in a way I haven’t seen since he was a young kitten. “I didn’t think it was right to leave him there on top of the bed—and part of me just wanted to tuck him in.”

“That is natural,” I say soothingly. “We want to protect the ones we love.” He looks quite distressed, more distressed than I have seen in a while. I wonder if I should get up and sit next to him, but I think I should let him finish, first. 

“So I took off his shoes and socks—and since he struggled so much with his tie in the locker room, I slipped it off over his head. I didn’t see any pajamas, so I thought he might sleep like me.”

“You undressed him?”

“Yes—but just down to his shorts—and then I tucked him under the blankets. But he still didn’t wake, and he looked so vulnerable, I didn’t want to leave him like that, alone—with the door unlocked. I couldn’t _stand_ the thought that someone might come in and see him like that—or take advantage of him when he was so vulnerable! So I took the key with me.”

He seems relieved to have told me, and he lets out a deep breath.

“Was that wrong? Was I wrong to do that?”

“Is that all that happened?” I ask. Is this really _all_ he’s worried about?

“Yes. He will wake up and not know how he got there, and realize I probably brought him home, and perhaps be distressed—knowing I undressed him—”

“But you were doing this to care for him, right? You got him home safely. I think you did nothing wrong, Rai. Did something else happen?”

“I may have groomed him without his permission...”

Bardo smiles. “You had the desire to groom him?”

“His ears—they were right there—and he responded so warmly, even in his sleep.”

The look on this young cat’s face—gods—he _is_ in love! I only hope that Shui’s son feels the same way. Though if he dared to return a kiss in the woods, I’m sure he is. Plus if he was comfortable enough to fall asleep on top of Rai, even after sparring with him—I can’t imagine he doesn't return his feelings.

“Rai, I think it’s fine. If someone trusts you enough to fall asleep around you, it’s probably safe to say they wouldn't mind if you groom them a little. Especially if it falls to you to bring them home and tuck them into bed.”

“But... I wanted to do a _lot_ more.”

“And you held yourself back, right?”

“I did.”

“That was the right decision. You should wait for his consent. It is always better if your partner is interested, too. Consider the second kiss, for example. If he is involved and an active participant, isn’t that much better?” 

“You’re right,” Rai agrees. “I should get his consent.” 

“I mean—you may want to gradually work up to it—rather than just coming out with it right away.” 

“Why?” Rai looks up at me, those pale blue eyes boring into my soul. He looks so earnest, and his tail is now swaying more slowly, almost a pushy mannerism. “Every time I see this kitten I want to touch him. Why should I wait? Shouldn’t I just tell him tomorrow? Get his consent tomorrow?”

My eyebrows raise a little more of their own accord at his admission. He has a point—why should he wait? Although, I wonder how the kitten would respond to such a direct conversation.

“Well, from what you’ve said, he is inexperienced, isn’t he? And he was surprised by your first kiss? Even if he responded positively, you may want to wait till a more, er, natural time, like the mating season. Yes—that’s it—he probably hasn’t had his first heat yet. And given your size difference, it would be more comfortable for him.”

“But we could do some of those other activities you’ve told me about in the meantime,” Rai replies, dropping his gaze. I think he’s embarrassed. Cute!

“Oh—certainly—wait—are you thinking that sounds interesting to you?” I’m shocked. I have mentioned to Rai that oral sex is a great alternative when there is a large difference in stature and mating season isn’t in play. I’m just shocked he’d consider it, since he’s never shown any interest in anyone before. In fact, when I brought it up earlier, he almost acted like he would never want to do this for anyone, nor have it done to him. Plus, he absolutely  _hated_ the heat—he said he felt like a slave to his instincts. I'm excited to see what this season brings!

“Yes. I... would like him to make him feel good. Very much. I cannot stop thinking about what it might be like to touch him like that. I think it’s why I was grooming him.” I always forget that this cat is not yet grown, as tall as he is. He’s only seventeen. He’s still a kitten. He’s very young, and he’s very sweet. 

“Well, I’d broach the subject carefully—and slowly—especially if the kitten in question is shy or inexperienced. His father has told me he spent most of his time alone and he is quite sensitive. If you do anything physical with him, grooming him afterward is a good idea, since he may feel a little insecure.”

“I see.” Those blue eyes flick toward my face again. He looks nervous, but his eyes are filled with more life than I’ve seen since I first put a sword in his hands. I can’t help smiling again.

“Perhaps you could invite him to spend some time getting to know you first. That might make him more comfortable,” I suggest. “You know, cook dinner for him, help him with his homework, show him around the school, take him to the dance.”

“But _not_ have sex?” Rai looks at me, disappointed. Gods, _adorable_!

“Well, I’m just suggesting you move slowly at first—to see how he responds. Good things come to those who wait, Rai! Maybe see if he lets you hold his hand or put your arm around him.”

“Hold his hand?” Rai scowls. “Are you teasing me?”

“No, I’m being very serious. Make sure he _wants_ you to touch him, too.”

“Ah. I see.” The scowl disappears into a more thoughtful look, and that fluffy white tail continues swaying back and forth.

“Sensitive cats, or shy ones, like to connect emotionally before they connect physically.”

“Why?” Another direct gaze—his tail indicating intense curiosity. It’s a good question.

“I’m not sure, really. For some, that physical activity is a way to connect emotionally, I suppose.”

“Doesn’t he know it’s just a natural way to communicate, that his body is _meant_ to respond, and that I could make him feel good?”

“He might not, Rai. And he may need to learn to trust you, first.”

“I see.” He continues his direct gaze, which indicates that he doesn’t really understand, but he will try to accept it anyway. “Maybe that is what Bojyo-Sensei meant by letting him sleep. This is helpful.”

“I’m glad you stopped by,” I reply, standing up at the same time he does, ruffling his hair. I know he dislikes it, but he doesn’t pull away for some reason. “Let me know how it goes, okay?” 

“I will. Goodnight.”

I keep the door open a few moments, watching him strut back toward the student dorms. He certainly has a walk, I’ll give him that much. He lifts his fluffy tail proudly to show off his figure without being flamboyant—he carries himself with grace and elegance—like his mother—and the confidence of his father—even when he’s doubting himself.

 _Little Rai-Chan is in love!_ I can’t believe it! I guess I should have celebrated with a little sake, but I’ll save that for after he confesses—and shit! I wonder if he knows he needs to tell the object of his affection how he _feels_. It would be obvious to most, but I’m not sure it is to him.

Next time, I think I’ll mention it. 

And I can’t wait to talk to Shui! I give my body a nice long stretch and start getting ready for bed. It’s time, after all. What a nice way to end the evening! I’m really curious about this kitten from Karou myself, too. I wonder what he’s like!


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back to Konoe’s POV—Wednesday morning. He wakes up and is a little surprised. And a lot embarrassed.
> 
> He has a frank discussion with his dad with some sexual content.
> 
> He meets Rai before school, also featuring a frank discussion of sex.
> 
> Poor Konoe! He can only take so much!

**Konoe:**

I feel great when I wake up the next morning—so well-rested, like I’ve had plenty of sleep, and I slept particularly soundly.

I give a long stretch, pulling my body out from under the covers and to my surprise, I find I’m dressed only in my underwear. This is a huge surprise since I usually sleep in pajamas.Also, I see my clothes from yesterday are hanging on the back of my chair, but that is not how I do it. I fold them neatly; I don’t hang them like that. And my bag is missing. 

What did I do with my bag? 

Come to think of it, shouldn’t I still be at the astronomy class? How the hell did I even get home? 

The wheels in my mind start turning, and I give my room a once-over. I inhale deeply and I smell the white cat’s scent. It’s a pleasant smell, actually. I _really_ enjoy it. I realize I smell a lot like him right now, too. What happened?

This blanket isn’t mine—it’s his—it’s the one he shared with me last night. Oh—did he take me home last night?

Tokino has told me I sleep soundly. Perhaps I fell asleep in class, and Rai took me home? I hope I wasn’t an inconvenience—

But then, _why_ am I in my underwear?

Oh, gods! Did the silver cat undress me? 

The thought makes me pause—the thought of him, bringing me here, first of all—did he carry me? Did I drool on him? Did I snore? I start to feel a little strange—almost lightheaded—as I look over at the clothes hanging off the back of my chair. As if looking at them a second time will perhaps make them not be hanging there, and instead, I will find them neatly folded. 

No, wait—even before that—I fell asleep—during class—next to him? Like— _right_ next to him? Probably close enough to him that he couldn’t move? I was probably a terrible inconvenience. And not only that—it was terribly childish and embarrassing! 

How could I have _done_ something like that? I don’t understand! I’m not that comfortable around him, to begin with—what was I thinking and why didn’t he wake me? And then, how did he find out where I live? If—that is—if it was even Rai. But if it wasn’t Rai, who was it? Dad? Maybe they had to call my dad? That would be even worse, wouldn’t it? 

But Dad wouldn’t undress me like this. Nor would he leave this blanket like this, and this blanket is definitely the silver cat’s blanket. It even still smells like him. It smells _so_ good. Waa—why am I noticing that _again_? That isn’t what’s important—what’s important is that I’m sitting in my bed, in my _underwear_ , and I think I’m here only because Rai brought me here. Which means—which means that Rai was probably the one who stripped off my clothes.

Why would he do that?

Was he trying to—to look at me? While I was sleeping? All my fur stands on end, and it’s _not_ a fearful response. Not at _all_. This is most _definitely_ not fear that I’m feeling. This feels like _desire_.

Something in my stomach flutters around when I think about that, and it doesn’t feel bad, either—and that makes me feel _really_ guilty. Shouldn’t I feel terrible about this? Should I tell my dad? 

Ah—no. He will insist on getting involved, or he will overreact! He will either make a big deal about it, insist on me marrying the guy or getting introduced to him right away, making some kind of scene, making everything even worse—he’s always poking around where he doesn’t belong, getting into things that don’t concern him. Add to that, we haven’t had music yet—and there is a good chance Rai will be in my music class with Dad as the instructor. I think I’ll keep this “incident” to myself.

I take a quick peek at my legs under the covers. Oh, thank the gods! I’m still wearing the nice pair of black boxer briefs from yesterday afternoon. I’m relieved—but then I think—wait a minute. Am I really that worried about what I look like?

Hell, yes! I _am_! I jump up out of bed and look at myself in the full-length mirror. I’m _small_. I never realized it three days ago—but I am small. The reflection in the mirror is a small cat, especially when compared to every other cat I have seen on campus. I do have a nice shape. I have well-defined muscles—I worked hard to get my chest this developed—doing sit-ups and pushups—and not because I’m vain. I did it to increase my ability to fight and my speed. My leg muscles are particularly nicely formed, and while my hips are slightly wide in proportion to the rest of my body, I have a great ass. 

At least as nice of an ass as that blue cat who is always kissing someone else. Who are all those cats kissing him, I wonder? And they are all pretty good looking. I mean, he’s not bad himself, but he seems slightly soft to me—his face a little girlish. Rai’s hair is long, but he is in no way feminine. The only soft thing on that cat are his ears and tail, and those are silky and delicious—and I need to think about something else!

I sigh, looking at myself in the mirror. I don’t bother flexing. I’m still just a plain, small cat with a crooked tail. Compared to him—compared to that silver cat—I’m nothing special to look at. He has _got_ to be messing with me! So I don’t understand; why he would have brought me home like he did? 

There are two short knocks on my door and I jump. Dad always scares me! I yell out, “Just a minute,” but as usual, the door just opens.

“Dad! Gimme a minute!”

“Oh? Sorry! I didn’t realize you were changing.” He doesn’t close the door. “Unless—did you skip your pajamas last night?”

I feel my ears blush. How did he know? Shit!

“Oh, yeah—um, it was too hot.”

“Whose blanket is this?” I see Dad’s nose wrinkling slightly. So nosy! I’ve got to get out of here before he realizes something isn’t right!

“Um, I just borrowed it for the night class since I forgot to bring one of my own,” I say lamely.

“You took it home with you? I thought you were hot. Did you perhaps bring someone home with you last night?”

“Dad! Please, privacy!” 

“Oh! Sorry! Were you in the middle of something? Was I perhaps interrupting?” My dad is _always_ inappropriate.  

“Even if you were interrupting me, I’m sure I’d never tell you! Gods, Dad—you never give me a minute of peace around here—when would I ever have the chance to do something like that?!” 

“Well, it’s healthy—and it’s smart to understand your own body and know what you like and what feels good—for your own sake and so you can show any future partners, and also so you can guess what your partner might like. Also, it might relax you a little. I worry you carry around a lot of stress, Konoe!”

I sigh exaggeratedly, sitting on the side of my bed, not facing Dad, buttoning my shirt. I’m blushing furiously, though we have had this conversation before. “I appreciate your concern, Dad, but this is weird to talk about with you!”

“But mating season is just around the corner, and I want you to be prepared,” Dad says.

“Mating season? Please,” I sigh again, grabbing my pants.

“Do you always hang your clothes up? I thought you usually fold them compulsively.”

“What?” How in the hell would Dad know where I put my clothes from the day before? How does he know my habits so well? It’s unnerving. Plus, I am so _not_ compulsive! “I just got home a little late, that’s all. You were pretty late, too, weren’t you?”

“Yes, I was,” his voice sounds different, softer and a little excited. “But it was worth it! I think it was worth it!” 

I look up at Dad, and his eyes are shining. It’s kind of cute, but at the same time, it’s just a little bit gross. He’s my dad, after all! Some things I just don’t want to know!

“Um, well, I’m glad.” I buckle my belt and slip on my shoes.

“Huh, your shoes are here, too—not at the door,” Dad says. “Don’t you always nag me about leaving my shoes at the door?” 

“Like I said, I was really tired,” I explain lamely. I need to get out of here. “I seem to be running a little late—I have to be at class early today, um, to, er, make up some work, so I should run!”

“Oh, all right—no breakfast?” 

“I’ll just grab some fruit,” I say over my shoulder, and I grab a kuim on my way out the door. I leave before he can say anything about my missing bag—which I am sure he’s noticed. 

I need to find Rai—and I’m going to corner him first thing this morning before class, get my bag from him, and find out exactly what his intentions are! I don’t like this!

I know the student dorms are on the opposite side of campus, so I head that way, past the classroom buildings, and I lie in wait for him, hoping he’s alone. Although, even if he isn’t, I’m going to pull him aside to talk just the same.

It doesn’t take long. He’s early this morning, too—alone, with his own bag and mine on his shoulders. He sees me and I see a smile—a _genuine_ smile—on his face. Jeez—that guy is too handsome for his own good. His smile distracts me from saying anything.

Before I can open my mouth, his low voice rumbles in greeting, “Good morning. You look very well-rested.”

Was that a snide comment?

I look at him directly—but he’s approaching me quite rapidly, and soon, I will have to look up at him to meet his gaze.

“Are you in a hurry?” 

“Only to talk to you,” he replies smoothly.

“I don’t—” I start and stop and try again, after a short sigh. “I don’t remember anything about last night. I remember sharing your blanket. _Reluctantly_.”

“That was you being _reluctant_?” A small contemptuous sound falls from the silver cat’s mouth. “In that case, I can’t wait to find you eager! You fell asleep on me! And you sleep like the dead. It’s unnatural how soundly you sleep.”

“That’s because you were doing something weird to me!” 

“Something weird?” The silver cat looks at me suddenly. “I did nothing weird.” 

“Yes, you did!” I insist.

“What are you talking about?” The silver cat looks incredibly guilty—and that frightens me. Is there something he isn’t telling me? My body starts to tremble slightly. What did he do to me after I fell asleep? What if he stripped me in front of the class? Is he going to admit it? Would I ever be able to show my face again?

“That thing with my ears,” I say, very quietly. 

“What.” It’s not really a question but a prompt to repeat myself. 

I look at him, and he’s looking at me like he didn’t hear what I said, both cute rounded ears tilted attentively toward me. 

“You touched my ears,” I repeat. 

“Oh, that,” he seems weirdly relieved. “Well, did you think that was weird? You didn’t seem to mind so much. I wanted to kiss you again, but since so many other students were there, and you seemed irritated, I thought that might be less intrusive...” 

“Less intrusive?” I repeat, but what I’m thinking is, _oh my gods he wanted to kiss me?? Is he just fucking with me??_

“You didn’t like it? You purred— _loud_ ,” Rai says, emphasizing the word “loud.” “And you fell asleep—on top of me.”

“On top of you?” My stomach feels funny. I feel like I might be sick. “What do you mean?”

“Well, your tail tangled itself around mine, and you snuggled yourself up against my side and went to sleep on my arm, and then finally pulled yourself up on my chest with your tail wrapped around my leg. You had me soundly pinned and complained whenever I moved.”

“I-I am _so_ sorry,” I cannot even meet his gaze. I rest my head in my hands. What was I expecting? Although, as I’m thinking about how embarrassing it is to fall asleep on top of him during class is, even if I did wrap my tail around his like a lover’s might, the fact remains that I woke up nearly _naked_ this morning. That is even _more_ embarrassing to think about! 

“It was not a problem. The instructor said to just let you sleep. He said it was to be expected of your kind.” 

“My _kind_?” What the hell is that supposed to mean? I glance up at this, but Rai has a completely neutral expression on his face.

“He said you must have trusted me enough to fall asleep, and that you do this to bond. I’m not familiar with this concept. I have a very hard time sleeping in front of others.” 

“I must have been a terrible inconvenience,” I say miserably, but I have no idea what Bojyo-Sensei meant, either. “Did you take me home, too?”

“I did, thanks to your orange-haired friend. He told me where you live, and that you do this kind of thing often.”

“That’s a lie—or at least an exaggeration,” I protest softly. “You carried me all the way home, then? I’m sorry to have put you out.” My ears droop, my tail sags, and I’m ashamed.

“It was no big deal. Your apartment was empty, and I didn’t want to leave you sleeping so soundly—you looked so vulnerable—so I locked the door behind me,” Rai pulls a key out of his pocket and hands it to me. “Here. I wasn’t going to take it—I just didn’t want to leave you alone and defenseless.”

Was he worried about me? I’m terribly confused now. What is going on here?

“Did you—” I stop for another moment and swallow. Am I really going to ask him if he undressed me? I already feel my ears heating up.

“What.” He’s staring at my ears. “Your ears are pink.” 

Did he do anything to me while I was asleep? I can hardly ask that—if he was kind enough to bother taking me home after I did something so foolish, wouldn’t that be excessively rude of me to wonder if he did anything weird to me?

“Did you leave your blanket with me?” 

“You seemed comfortable with it and complained when I took it away,” Rai replies.

Damn it! I didn’t bring it with me! 

“Shit, I forgot it,” I say. 

“Just bring it to class tomorrow. We can share again, unless you’d rather not,” Rai says, and his voice sounds a little softer.

“Um, all right.” Maybe I could ask just one more thing... “Rai?”

“What.” 

“Last night, did you, um, take my shoes off when you put me on my bed?” I am deliberate in my word choice. I say “on my bed,” not “in bed” or “to bed.”

“Your room and entire house looked so tidy, even though you just moved in,” Rai says, carefully. “I didn’t think you’d want to get your linens dirty. Was that all right?”

Again, he’s using that soft voice—so different from the cold tone I’m used to hearing. Also, his eyes are peering at me, searching for my reaction. I feel incredibly uncomfortable.

“Oh, um, thank you. Yes. That was fine,” I reply. 

“I figured you might sleep like me, since I didn’t see any pajamas lying around, and I didn’t think I should go through your things,” Rai continues, “but after I got past your trousers, I thought I’d better stop, in case I was wrong. I didn’t want you to freak out this morning.” 

“Sleep like you?” The words echo before I can stop them, and my thoughts are suddenly running wild—and I mean _wild_. So—he sleeps like that—except he stopped when he took off my...— _whoa_! Wait a minute! He sleeps _naked_?!

“What. Did I guess correctly?” 

“Uh, no—I have a pair of pajamas, but I usually put them away or hang them in the bathroom,” I say.

“Ah—I can’t use them. I get too hot, especially in the summer,” Rai says neutrally, maintaining my gaze. “My adopted father says it’s probably a combination of my stature, build, and length of my fur.”

“I guess having long fur is awfully convenient, then,” I murmur, but to tell the truth, knowing that he sleeps naked is almost too much for my thumping little heart to take at the moment. So if I stopped by his apartment in the night and knocked on his door, would he put something on before answering the door, or would he just open it in the nude? Also, does he get moonlight in his window at night? Does it shine on his bed? How pretty would that be?!

_Oh, my gods!_

“In the winter months, it’s great. In the summer, not so much,” Rai replies. “Do you get cold in the winter, then?” 

“Well, my fur is short, but it’s pretty thick, and it gets a little fuller in winter,” I say. “I do all right, but I get cold sometimes.”

“Plus, you dislike fire,” Rai says, also completely neutrally, like it’s a well-known fact of the world.  

“How did you know that?” I ask, stunned. I’m sure I’ve never been around fire in front of him. What the hell?

“Your house is lit by guiding leaves. I’ve never seen that before. Only your father’s room has a single lamp in it. I assumed one of you has a fear of fire. It’s a natural instinct. Nothing to be ashamed of, in particular. It fits with your lack of night vision, too.”

“What did you say?” I think I am feeling offended. 

“I mean, it’s sort of cute. You have poor night vision, which is unusual for a Ribika, but then strong instincts when it comes to fire, almost as though to make up for your vision.” 

I sigh irritatedly and look away. I don’t like to discuss either of these traits.

I feel something brushing my ears.

“Your fur is ruffled up on your ears, and they are still pink,” Rai comments, while his fingers lightly brush my ears. “Are you angry or embarrassed? I find you difficult to read. I tried to ask you yesterday, but do you dislike being touched by me?”

“No,” I say immediately— _much_ too fast of a response. Damn it! I should have hesitated or said, a little bit, or something— _anything_ to make myself look less eager and desperate. But let’s face it—I’m both eager _and_ desperate!

“Why are you doing this?” I ask, looking up into his face. He looks very earnest, however. I cannot read his intentions.

“Doing what?”

“Touching me?”

“I like touching you. It feels good—and I like your response,” Rai says.

“My response? Are you trying to rile me up?” I ask, trying to sound fierce, but I don’t sound very angry—even I know that.

“Well, not in the sense of making you angry, at least. I got some advice, and I was told to invite you to spend some time with me. Perhaps I can make you lunch? Show you around campus? Help you with homework? Take you to the dance on Friday?”

“Why?” I want to say yes to all of his invitations, but I don’t understand why he’s asking someone like me.

“So you can get to know me a little,” and his face is so extremely earnest. He takes one of my hands in his. “I was told that for people like you—shy and sensitive—” Wait. Does that describe me? Am I shy and sensitive? “—moving slowly is better than being too direct.”

“Direct about what? You can be direct, if you want. I might be less confused if you were more direct.”

“Really?” Rai asks suddenly, turning to face me fully. “You wouldn’t mind if I were direct, then?”

“Well, I don’t understand your intentions.” I’m only being honest now.

“I see. If I am direct, you will understand.” Rai scrunches up his forehead slightly in thought. “I don’t want to scare you, though.”

 _Scare_ me? I glance up at him again. I wasn’t actually afraid until he said that. He is still holding one of my hands in both of his. 

“You know, just because I state my intentions, it does not mean I expect you to feel the same way or that I expect your immediate consent.”

My consent? What is he talking about? I am feeling weird again, my stomach feels funny, my pulse is racing in my ears.

“I expect you will make up your own mind on your own time, and I don’t mind waiting for you to decide, so there is no pressure—but since you prefer, I will just be direct with you. Then you will understand why I want to spend time with you.” 

“All right. Go for it,” I say, nervously. I’m really afraid, though. My hands are sweating. I almost want to pull the one he is holding away, but he is massaging it—right at my wrist and then the space between my thumb and forefinger—and it feels _amazing_. He has magic fingers, this cat does! I try hard not to think about what it might feel like to have his hands touch places other than my hands or my ears—and a little shiver ripples through my body. 

“Konoe,” and when he says my name, he says it in that special soft sexy voice—I _love_ it—it tingles the fur deep within my ears to the point of distraction, and I have to flick them several times to make them stop tickling so I can concentrate on his words, “I really enjoy sparring with you.”

There is a dramatic pause, and I breathe in and out, slowly. I’m slightly disappointed. When he doesn’t speak any further, I add, “Um, I enjoy sparring with you, too.”

“But more than that, I enjoy spending time with you. I like touching you, teasing you, kissing you—I _cannot_ stop thinking about the sounds you were making in the woods yesterday, and I would do _anything_ to get you to make those sounds again—and I like rubbing your ears, listening to your purr, feeling your breath as you sleep on me, tucking you into bed. I want to be with you. And my intentions—I want you to feel the same way. I want you to think about me in the same way. And I want...”

He stops again, taking my other hand in his. He looks very serious. He just said he likes _kissing_ me. And what sounds is he referring to? Was he talking about those vulgar noises I couldn’t keep myself from making when he kissed me the second time? Why did he bring that up? Except—except that _I_ can’t stop thinking about kissing him, either, and I want to do it again, too. Like right now, even, as I’m breathlessly staring at his lips, trying not to remember how soft they felt.

“I want to have sex with you.” _What_?! I must have misheard what he just said. _Sex_? I mean, he said direct, but no one could possibly be _this_ direct! But when he continues, I feel the blood flow increasing to my ears. “I want to make love to every part of your body till you can’t speak a single sensible word. I want to see what it looks like when you release all that pent-up energy inside you in one go—in one release—one that I have helped create. I want to see you lose yourself to pleasure in my presence. I want you... to trust yourself to me. I want you to trust your body to me.”

What? 

 _What_!?

Trust my body to him? Yes, _please_! But is he being serious? He certainly looks earnest and serious—but what the literal _fuck_? Is this a normal conversation cats my age have with each other? I am so unprepared—and not _only_ because I don’t spend enough time touching myself!

Or is this because I don’t do that enough? Shit! I’ll _make_ time—starting today—because I do _not_ understand this at all!

I think I’ve stopped breathing. I may be in shock. I start to feel very, very lightheaded all of the sudden. 

“Was that too direct?” Rai looks down at my face. “Oy, your ears are even pinker now, but your face looks really pale! Are you all right?”

Rai’s face appears in front of mine, but his voice sounds very strange, like it’s coming from a tin can. I can’t understand what he’s saying. 

“Oy, oy!”

Also, I realize I can’t feel my legs, and my vision is graying out around the edges, making it look like I’m peering through a tunnel. Something warm is surrounding me, though—and it sure smells nice. And I can see those pale blue eyes—showing concern for me—right above me. And those soft lips—I want to kiss them. That’s the last thought I have before I black out.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poor little Konoe wakes up in the nurse's office. His day isn't getting better from there, despite being surrounded by daddies who care about his wellbeing.

When I next wake, I’m in a bed surrounded by curtains, and I feel very, very woozy. I open my eyes a little, and the entire room looks white—the floor, the walls, the curtains, the ceiling. It’s so overwhelming that I just close my eyes again.

I hear some voices, however. I recognize one as my father’s, but the other is not familiar. It’s much deeper than Dad’s.

“So what happened exactly?” That’s Dad’s worried tone.

“Don’t worry, Shui. He is just fine. He didn’t hit his head. Rai told me he didn’t hit the ground—Rai caught him before he hit the ground.”

“He fainted?” 

“I think so.”

“Why? Is it because he skipped breakfast?”

“It might be. Does he usually eat breakfast?”

“He’s not a big eater—at least not for breakfast—but honestly, he seemed a little different this morning.”

I open my eyes when I hear Dad say these words.

“Different how?” the other voice asks.

“Well, he wasn’t himself. First, he wasn’t sleeping in his pajamas, and he _always_ sleeps in pajamas. At first, I thought I’d walked in on him. Mind you, I would have been _delighted_ to see that—I think Konoe needs to take care of himself a little better, but he just won’t heed my advice. He doesn’t seem interested, you know? No matter what I tell him, he just doesn’t listen.”

I close my eyes. I’m _completely_ humiliated. Is Dad talking about my (lack of) sex life to a complete stranger? Oh, my gods! I want to hide under the bed! 

“You know, Shui, some boys are like that. They need an, um, instigating factor, like a person, to ignite the fire, so to speak.”

“Well, I’d mentioned my concern this morning, and he seemed particularly uncomfortable. Then, his clothes weren’t put away the way they usually are. You see, he always folds his clothes neatly before he goes to bed. I see it when I check on him after he goes to bed.”

“He actually lets you check on him? What a sweetheart!”

“Oh, he doesn’t know I do it. I’m sure he’d be embarrassed if he knew I still did, but I can’t help it. He sleeps so soundly, and I worry. I’m afraid he might fall asleep at his desk or on the floor. But he usually makes it into his bed. But last night, his clothes were hung up over this chair. Plus, he left his shoes in his room—and I _know_ he didn’t wear them into the house. He does most of the housekeeping and is always nagging me about my shoes.”

“Really?” the deeper voice sounds thoughtful. “Anything else?”

“He was really eager to leave, and he left early—and without his bag.”

“Ah, I see. I think I know what happened,” the deep voice says.

“You do?”

“Yes. I’m pretty sure it was my adopted son’s doing. Did your son have a late-night class last night?” 

“He did, in fact,” I hear Dad say. I slide under the covers, silently, covering my face with the blankets, leaving only my ears poking out. I simply _have_ to hear what they are saying, after all, but I don’t want my face seen at _any_ cost.

“You see, I think Rai brought him home last night. I think Konoe fell asleep during the class, and Rai tucked him into bed, and accidentally ended up taking his bag with him. It probably left your son slightly confused this morning when he woke up—not remembering how he got home.” 

“I see,” Dad says. “That doesn’t exactly explain everything.” 

“Rai is the boy who just brought you here, Shui.” 

“Oh?” Dad says.

“He has that long white fur.”

“Ah,” Dad says, and after a small pause, he says, “Oh!”

“Yes. You see, Rai gets very hot when he sleeps. Always has.”

“Oh! I see." Dad sounds awfully happy now. I'm really embarrassed.

"So—he thinks most people sleep the same way, and if he didn’t see pajamas out—and if your house was fairly neat, he maybe didn’t feel free to go rifling through Konoe’s belongings, so he probably stripped him down.”

“I see,” Shui says. And then—I hear my dad giggle. He actually _giggles_. Jeez! “Oh, my gods! That explains it! It totally explains Konoe’s flustered face when I came into his room this morning. He was _totally_ befuddled. He looked as though he had no idea how he had ended up in his room.”

“Ah, I’m sorry about that, but I’m sure Rai had best intentions at heart,” the deeper voice replies.

“Do you think—“ Dad starts.

“What?”

“Do you think they _did_ anything?”

“Oh—not last night while your boy was asleep. But just between you and me, there was some kissing in the woods earlier in the day,” this last sentence is in a conspiratorial whisper. _Who in the hell is that man with the deep voice, and why the hell does he know this?? Why is he telling Dad these details??_  

“What? His first kiss! My boy had his first kiss—with that lovely silver cat? Really!?” Dad sounds ecstatic. I mean, he sounds _way_ too happy, and I pull my ears under the covers as well. They are burning up. Absolutely _burning_. I'm never, ever going to hear the end of it. Dad will want all the details. _Shit!_ Damn that cat, whoever he is!

“Oh yes—and I know Rai was pretty excited about it. He stopped by my apartment after dropping off your son—and I know he treated him with nothing but respect when he was asleep, despite his baser urges, according to what he told me, anyway.” 

“You don’t say? What a good boy you’ve raised!” Dad marvels. "Konoe really does sleep like the dead, so he could have probably done anything he wanted, and Konoe wouldn't have known anything about it." _Jeez_ , Dad! Don't give the cat any ideas!

“He is a good boy—although I’d say he has some problems with impulse control. He was anxious to tell Konoe how he felt, and I wonder… I wonder about Rai’s expression when he dropped Konoe off here.”

“Why? What about it?”

“Well, he looked slightly guilty. I’d suggested that some cats are slightly more reserved last night.”

“That definitely describes my son. I don’t know where he gets it. Certainly not from me, and definitely not from his mother. It’s _not_ inherited,” Dad says. I’m tempted to groan at this remark, but I can’t even say a word I’m so embarrassed. Plus, I do not want anyone to know I'm awake and hearing this conversation! “Do you think he did something to Konoe?” 

“No, I doubt it—but I wonder if he was possibly more direct about what his intentions are toward him than your son was prepared to hear.” 

“Ah—that would definitely do it. I can see little Konoe freaking out so much that he simply fainted. Plus, does he know that your boy sleeps naked? That alone might be enough to make him lose his senses. I know he admires your son a great deal. The first day we were here, he was _awed_ when he saw him through our window.”

Dad has no idea what he’s talking about! 

Although—again, I’m struck with the image of Rai sleeping comfortably in his bed, lying on his side, completely unaware, pale moonlight streaming in through the window, hitting his pale skin at all the right places, shimmering in his hair and in his fur, his tail covering him right where he needs to be covered, since he probably sleeps on top of his blankets—in all the right places—and actually, I do feel a little faint. Plus, I’m already lying down. 

 _Shit_. 

Gods _damn_ it. 

Maybe Dad knows me better than I think he does. I keep hiding right where I am, but I release the covers a little, letting in a bit more air so I can breathe a little more easily. It's getting really warm in here. 

The deep voice laughs heartily.

“Your boy sounds _adorable_! No wonder mine fell for him so hard, Shui! I hope it all works out. I’ve been waiting forever for him to show interest—any interest of _any_ kind—in this kind of thing, and I’m so glad it happened.”

“Ah—me, too!” Dad replies. “I always felt like Konoe was a bit of a late bloomer.”

“He hasn’t had his first heat?”  
  
“Not yet, but I bet he will this season,” Dad says, and he sounds so proud. There isn’t _anything_ wrong with me! I’m just _fine_ this way—and this _isn’t_ something he should be talking about with _anyone_ else—especially not Rai’s stepfather, or adopted father, or whoever it is.

“You go ahead and get to class if you need to. I’ll call you if anything changes, all right? He will be in excellent hands here. I’ll get him something to eat, make sure he’s hydrated and rested, and send him to class with an escort as soon as he’s ready. Don’t you worry.”

“Thanks, Bardo, and thanks for sending for me.”

“No problem! Have a good day!” 

“You, too. I’ll just check on him real quick before I pop out.” I panic a little, making my body relax where it is—even under the blanket the way I am—as I hear the curtains moving.

“You do that—but try to let him sleep.”

“I will,” Dad whispers, his voice much closer to me. “Oy. Are you in there, still? You silly little kitten.” That's his pet name for me. It feels kind of good to hear him call me that, and it calms my anger a little to hear him say the name. Even if he has been talking about all that personal stuff about me. I know he's doing it because he cares and because I am very different from him.

I feel his hands stroking me softly, finding my ears over the blankets—he knows exactly where they are, even through the blankets. I love my dad’s touch. It’s like his music—soothing and calm. I purr softly in response.

“You rest up and feel better, now. And this is a _normal_ part of your development.”

I try to ignore that, but I think I flinch a little. I hear a small chuckle—meaning, he _knows_ I’m faking my sleep. But he lets it go, and he leaves, closing the curtain behind him.

I hear the other cat moving around, doing something—it sounds like he’s cutting something and then pouring something. Then the curtains open again.

“Are you still sleeping, or are you just hiding under there?” His deep voice sounds much softer up close.

The blanket is pulled down over my face, but I keep my eyes closed. 

“Huh—your ears are so pink. Do you have a fever?” I feel a cool hand rest on my head, in between my ears. “They are warm, but not hot. I’ve brought you some food and some juice. I think you’d feel better if you got some food in this flat little belly.”

I open my eyes and look up at him. I'm surprised to see a rather handsome face there. He has a dark beard and dark hair, and he’s got orange tiger-striped fur on his ears. He’s really big, too—even larger than Rai, I think—tall like he is, but broader still. He has kind, amber eyes, and he is smiling at me.

“Good morning, Konoe. I’m Bardo. I’m the school nurse, and also Rai's adopted father. How are you feeling?”

“Um. I’m a little woozy.” 

“You fainted. That’s to be expected. You should eat and drink and rest, and you will be fine.”

I sit up a little bit more and look at the food. It’s bread, cheese, fruit, and some juice. My stomach growls as soon as I see it—so embarrassing—and Bardo chuckles a little. 

“Eat, little one. I’m glad Rai thought to bring you here.” He wanders out, leaving the curtains open. I wonder if he's making sure I actually eat. I see him working on some papers at the table. Is that a medical chart? I wonder what he’s writing in there. I sure hope he didn’t write anything inappropriate.

Gods, now I’m going to have to deal with my dad—and he’s heard about the kissing—and shit, I have my first music class today! I sure hope Rai isn’t in that class with me, although he’s been in every single one of my classes so far. I start to feel very anxious, and I must be shifting around a lot because Bardo looks over at me.

“Are you all right? You’re so fidgety.”

“Oh—sorry,” I say. “It’s nothing.”

“Listen,” Bardo answers. “You can talk to me about _anything_. That's why I'm here. You know, the mating season is coming up, right? But some cats feel symptoms even before it starts, offseason, year-round. It’s perfectly natural. Even if you’ve never felt anything like it before, all you need is the right partner and your body starts responding in ways it hasn’t before—oy—are you all right?” 

“Um,” I say. I don’t feel so good.

Bardo is already standing up and rushing over to the bed.

“You got very, very pale again, but your ears are really red. Do you have a fever? It’s too early for you to be in heat. What is this?”

His hands feel cool on my ears, and he pushes me back down to the bed.

“I wonder—has anything changed with you lately?”

“Um.” I don’t know how to answer that question. I could have gotten a fever last night, I suppose—from sleeping outside or sleeping practically naked. But I don’t feel like I can say that.

“You can tell me,” Bardo says.

“Well, my sleeping habits were different last night,” I admit carefully.

“Yes, your father mentioned—plus, Rai is my adopted son, and he stopped by yesterday evening after he dropped you off, wondering if he had done the right thing.”  
  
“Could that be it?” 

“I don’t think so. It’s fine to sleep in the nude when even with fur like yours during the summer months. I even think it would be healthy.”

“I-I w-wasn’t nude!” I sputter, embarrassed to have him imagine me in such a state.

“Oh—your father may have misinformed me, then. Sorry,” the tiger cat smiles, showing me his teeth. “You may want to, anyway, once the heat hits. It’s more comfortable that way.”

I sigh exaggeratedly. I don’t want to discuss this with anyone—not with someone I barely know, and not with my father.

Bardo laughs. 

“What?”

“You’re just like him,” Bardo says. “You’ll get along great!”

“Like who?”

“Like Rai,” Bardo says softly. “Although, it seems he may be slightly more honest about some things than you are.”

My fur fluffs up when he says those words, and Bardo’s eyebrows raise.

“Ah, something I say hit a nerve? Is _that_ what happened? He didn’t take my advice, then? Did he get a little too direct for your comfort?” 

I can’t help it. A low growl and a hiss leak from my chest and mouth and I look away. I can’t help it! He is poking his nose in where it doesn’t belong! I look away, and I want to get out of here. He’s _way_ worse than Dad, and I can’t even leave!

“I want to go back to class,” I mutter.

“I see. You can as soon as you finish your food and can stand on your own,” Bardo says. “What did he say to you?”

“ _Nothing_!” I snap. “At least, nothing that concerns you or my dad! You guys shouldn’t be talking about us, anyway! We didn’t do anything wrong! I’ll never hear the end of it now!”

Bardo laughs again.

“No, you did _nothing_ wrong. All that is perfectly natural. Don’t get so angry, now. We’re only concerned parents, after all. And certainly, there’s _nothing_ wrong with a little making out in the woods. Plus, don’t you know? Brash cats die young. Calm yourself.” 

I _hate_ that saying. And gods, he _just_ brought up the kissing _again_. Why? To gauge my reaction? I glare at him, and he’s got this perverted grin on his face. 

“I can see why he likes you. Do you look at him like that? If you don’t, you definitely _should_. Now I’m curious. What did he say to you? Let me guess—he told you his intentions, and you fainted.”

I gasp. How the _hell_ did he know?

“Listen, there’s _nothing_ to worry about—this is _nothing_ to be concerned about. Rai has good manners, and he knows _not_ to cross the line without your _direct_ consent. This isn’t his first time, either.”  
  
“First time for what?” I ask, suspiciously.

“First time having sex, of course! I suggested he wait till the mating season—if it's possible since it's more comfortable that way. It’s only a week away.”

Gods! I pull the blanket up over my face.

“Your pink ears are sticking out, so I can still see how embarrassed you are,” Bardo says, laughing. “It’s natural, so don’t be so ashamed. I’ll be visiting your class this week to give a lecture, so be sure to have all your questions ready for me.”  
  
A _lecture_? Oh, gods. This is getting so much worse than I could have ever imagined. 

“I don’t want you to be fainting in class because of this, Konoe. Although—you do know _why_ it happened, don’t you?”

I poke my eyes out just a little. I don't.

“No. Why?”

“Well, you faint when the blood rushes out of your head, right? Where do you think all the blood went? To another part of your body, of course!” He has a really wide grin on his face.

“Gods! Just— _stop_ it!” _So_ much worse than Dad! This is the cat Rai didn't want me to see when I fell on that root yesterday while sparring, isn't it? I totally understand now. “Pervert cat!”

Bardo just laughs and stands up.

“It’s not just me— _you’re_ the one whose fainting, aren’t you? You must be pretty into him, then. I think he is smart about these things. He probably knows exactly what’s going on, so I’d be careful about what I say and do around him—just so he doesn’t take things the wrong way.”

How would he take things the wrong way? I _am_ interested, to be honest—but I’m terribly scared, too. I’m nervous around him, and I’m still not entirely convinced he was being honest with me earlier. However… why would he say all those things to me—so directly—if he wasn’t being serious?  I just don't understand why it's me, out of everyone else.

“Why don’t you rest a little more? Finish up your meal and that juice, and I’ll call someone to walk you back to class, just to be safe.”

“Okay.” I'm glad to be done talking.

When I look out the window, I realize the moon of light is quite high in the sky. I’ve been sleeping quite some time. And I’ve missed most of my morning classes. It’s probably past noon, in fact—I wonder if I only have my afternoon classes now. Today—in the afternoon—we have our first music class.

Shit. I'll have to deal with Dad.

And shit again. The person here to walk me back to class is none other than Rai. Of course, Bardo would think to do that.

“He’s the class rep. Of course, it’s his job,” Bardo says in that overly friendly tone. And to Rai, “Make sure to hold onto him if he becomes unsteady again. And watch your topic of conversation.” 

“Was that the problem?” Rai asks, his tone slightly sheepish.

“Probably.”

He glances at me.

“I’m sorry. I thought—I thought being direct would be helpful.”

“Don’t be,” I say quickly, though I’m unable to make direct eye contact with him. I end up looking at his pretty silver hair instead, or staring at his soft ears, trying really hard not to think about how soft they were when I touched them in the woods yesterday. “It _was_ helpful.”

He perks up a little.

“Come on, then.” He takes my bag and my arm.

“I’m okay. I can carry my stuff at least.”

“It’s fine,” he says, pulling me along helpfully.

“Good luck,” Bardo says to both of us.

“Shut up,” Rai snaps over his shoulder, and Bardo just laughs

As we are walking to class, I say, “Um, my dad is the music teacher here.”

“I realize that,” Rai answers. He has deliberately slowed his gait for my sake, I notice. He’s walking quite slowly—almost hesitantly.

“I think—no, I know—he knows some stuff about what happened yesterday. Bardo seemed to know and called my dad over.”

“I know your dad was there, and I assumed Bardo would probably tell him everything,” Rai says. “I actually went to get your father when you fainted. I was worried. And honestly, Bardo has always had a big mouth. I’m sorry if it causes you problems.”

“I’m afraid it might cause you problems,” I say.

“How?”

“Well, Dad has been on my case for a while now, saying I don’t interact well with others. He was thankful I would be forced to interact with other cats here at school. He’s not like that, you see. As a musician, he sees lots of cats.”

“I see.” There’s a small pause, and Rai says, “You know, we could give them a reason to talk.” 

“What do you mean?”

Rai stops walking. We are standing between two buildings now—and there are a few students walking to class here and there, but not that many. He shuffles me between the two buildings and pushes me up against the wall—not using much force because I go willingly.

My head feels a little light—because, as Bardo pointed out, the blood is definitely rushing to another more southern area of my body, all at once, and into my ears as well.

I feel Rai’s hand brushing my ears, and the hand on my arm touches the base of my tail.

“I thought we could actually give them something to talk _about_ ,” he murmurs. “No one _saw_ us in the woods yesterday, you know.”

“No,” I say—but I’m agreeing with his statement here—rather breathlessly. My chin tilts up, and a shiver rushes through my body.

“Your ears are pink, and your fur gets all fluffy when I touch you like this.”

His voice is so low—it sounds so dirty—but all he is doing is making a simple statement. Gods, I’d be so embarrassed if I fainted again.

I want to kiss him so _much_ right now—in fact—he’s right here—his face is right in front of me. Those lips, so soft and warm—all I’d have to do is stand up on my tiptoes, just a tiny bit of a reach and I could reach him. And before I know it, that’s exactly what I’m doing—I’m kissing him, my lips part, and I feel my tongue in his mouth, gently stroking his.

Shit— _I’m_ kissing _him_ —I kissed him _first_. He may have pulled me into the alley, but I _definitely_ kissed him first.

And I am hearing some students chatter quietly and whisper as they walk by, but my eyes are closed and I'm on task. I feel him pull my body a little closer to his, pressing it against his—his hand on my tail, caressing it more firmly now—and a weird noise sounds in my ears—and oh gods, it’s _me_ making that sighing sound, murmuring into his mouth. I feel him smiling around my lips. He’s _smiling_ —and he starts to purr. His body rumbles low and soft, and that makes me purr in response.

I can feel something pressing against my stomach—and it’s not his leg since his legs are between mine—and the size of it is absolutely frightening but also extremely arousing.

Oh, my gods—are we doing this in _public_?

His other hand is rubbing my back, and my hands are wrapped around his neck, and I’ve got two handfuls of hair—but I loosen one to run down his back and grab the base of his tail. When I touch it, his fur fluffs out quite suddenly and a shiver goes through his body. That reaction—oh gods—it makes me so _hot_.

 _I_ did that! _I_ made him respond like that. He apparently _likes_ having his tail touched.

We are going to be late for class if we keep kissing like this—because I hear the warning bell go off. We only have five minutes to get to class, but I don’t feel very eager to let go of him. And he's not releasing me, either.

Finally, though—he releases my lips—I’m sucking on his bottom lip as he lets go—and something in my chest makes a strange leap—warm and light—a pool of song? Is that what it is? I don’t know—I want to keep kissing him to find out. But he whispers to me. 

“We should get to class.”

I smile softly and let go.

However, when I turn my head, I see we've gained an audience. Several students are standing there—including three that I recognize: Tokino, Asato, and the cat with blue hair who has a pale, white-haired cat I don't recognize on his arm. That’s not the cat from our PE class, I realize. There are also several other cats standing there, including a tall, brunette cat, with long fur, who is very attractive, close in size to Rai. I think I saw him at our astronomy class last night, but it was dark, so I don't remember.

Worse, still, standing there with his mouth hanging open, his lute over his back, is my _dad_. How long he has been standing there is a mystery, but he has obviously seen most of what I’ve been doing.

 _Shit_.

Dad just saw me not just kissing Rai, but _totally_ making out with him in a semi-public place. And not just that—he stopped and watched. What the hell?! What kind of father does that? He doesn't look disappointed, though. To my surprise, he looks completely shocked.

Wait—did he see that I was the one who kissed Rai? That would be even more embarrassing. Ugh! What am I going to do?

I feel my face heating up, and suddenly, the attractive brunette cat smiles at Rai and starts clapping his hands, slowly, which makes the other students start clapping as well. What the _fuck_?

My blush deepens and I sneak a look at Rai. He is _not_ blushing. In fact, he looks quite proud. He bows his head slightly, wraps an arm around my waist and pulls me close, and starts walking to class. 

Today has been a day to remember. And now, I have to deal with my dad's music class. I couldn't bring myself to say anything to him, though. Will I regret it?


	9. Chapter 9

I’m trying to ignore the other students, but that good-looking brunette student seems to be on good terms with Rai, and he is teasing him non-stop. Rai doesn’t seem to mind the attention at all.

“So _that’s_ your type, Rai!” he says. “I never would have guessed you’d go for the little ones. But he is pretty cute, isn’t he? He’s in astronomy, right? I thought I saw you messing around with him last night, too.”

“Shut up, Koujaku,” Rai says, but he isn’t particularly bothered by the ribbing. “Like you can talk.” He holds the door open for me and follows me inside the classroom, taking the seat right behind mine. The last two seats are, of course, in the front two rows. 

Dad walks in and introduces himself. Thankfully, he seems to have pulled himself together, though he keeps looking at me sideways. But when he introduces the lesson for the day, I know I’m in deep shit. 

“Today, I thought we’d talk about music as a medium for communicating feelings. Since the mating season is just around the corner, _love songs_ are the perfect topic, wouldn’t you agree?” 

I don’t want to look up, because I know Dad’s eyes are on me. I lift up my gaze just a little and notice his hands resting on my desk.

“Sure, Dad,” I say quietly, and his fingers curl, reminding me that I have to call him Shui-Sensei during school hours. “Ah—I mean, Shui-Sensei.”

“It seems love has struck several of you early this season, which is always a wonderful sight. This is a special time in your lives. The love song is particularly powerful when sung by a Sanga since he is able to communicate the feelings from his heart directly to his listener. Have any of you ever heard a Sanga sing before?” 

I keep my hand lowered as well as my face, though I have—if hearing my dad counts—but Dad raps his knuckles on my desk, making sure I lift my hand. I’m so embarrassed. He is embarrassing me on purpose! 

“No one besides Konoe?” Dad asks. “Then you should be in for a treat. I’d ask you to lend your ears for a moment. I’ll be asking you some questions afterward.” 

Dad wanders back to his desk, perches on the edge, picks up his lute and begins to play. There are no lyrics to this song, but it’s most definitely a love song. I can hear it in the way it’s played. It’s almost a song of regret, I think—it brings tears to my eyes whenever I hear it.

When he is finished playing, the entire class claps and Dad smiles and takes an exaggerated bow.  
  
“While the applause was very sweet, it was not necessary.” 

“Is Shui-Sensei a Sanga?” comes a voice in the back of the room. It’s the annoying blue cat asking. His voice absolutely rubs me the wrong way. 

“I am—or I was for many years. Without a Touga, however, I’m a simple musician.” 

That isn’t true, I think. It seems something must have happened, years ago, that Dad wouldn’t tell me about. 

Many students enjoyed the melody, and a lively discussion ensues about what each student experienced.

“Konoe, what did you feel when you heard that melody?” Dad interrupts my wandering thoughts. 

“Oh, um, I thought it was beautiful, and most definitely dedicated to the person you love, but I also detected a sense of loss within the melody itself.” None of the other students has said this so far—at least, not that I have heard, but I have been slightly distracted. I have been trying to keep my tail still and have not been succeeding. Rai has been playing with my tail throughout all of the class. It feels sort of nice, though. 

“Ah, I thought you might be able to sense that,” Dad says. 

“Why?” the blue cat asks. “Why would he be able to pick that up, and not the rest of us? Is he also a Sanga?” 

My ears flatten when the blue-haired cat asks that question. Of course, I’m not a Sanga—not like my dad. I’ve never even sung before—not since I was a kid, anyway. 

“That’s an interesting question—what was your name again?”

“Aoba,” the blue-haired cat answers. 

“An excellent question, Aoba. Truthfully, the chances of Konoe awakening as a Sanga are quite high, but it usually happens a little later for Sanga of his and my kind.” Didn’t someone else just classify me as a “kind” recently? Why is this familiar?

“Your kind?”

“It’s in our blood, apparently,” Dad answers. Was he ever going to mention this to me? I’m staring at Dad with an open mouth. “Usually it’s after the first mating season that the Sanga, inherited by blood, awakens. It takes an instigating factor, and a new bond, which, as you’ve seen, Konoe is well on his way to establishing.” 

My face and ears heat up, and I feel my tail pulled just slightly—a little tug at the base—which is what Rai was doing to me in the forest.

I turn my face and catch a glimpse of the silver cat grinning—why? What’s he so happy about? I don’t get it! Is he enjoying this?

“Keep in mind, Aoba, that doesn’t mean it’s out of the question for you, however. So if you were hoping to awaken as a Sanga, you might also. Do you know if you have any genuine Sanga in your family?”

“I don’t know anything about my history,” Aoba says, almost sullenly. “I was adopted when I was young and know nothing of my birth parents.” I hear Rai sigh behind me, blowing his breath hotly in my hair. _Distracting._

“Ah, I see. It’s a mystery, then! Going back to what I was saying about bonds and communication, Konoe, if I might use you as an example,” Dad has approached my desk. If he looks behind me, for sure he’s going to notice Rai playing with my tail. Rai keeps his hands low—he’s quite experienced, it seems, in keeping out of sight, which bothers me even to think about. I shift uncomfortably in my chair, but I can’t move very far without pulling my own tail.

I cast my dad a somewhat desperate glance, by which I mean, “Please, don’t do this to me today!” 

He returns my glance with a gentle smile. “Thank for cooperating, Konoe. This will be an easy task for you, I’m sure, and your Touga will love it!” he whispers softly.

I feel myself flushing again, my ears turning pinker. 

“Since you were so eager to demonstrate your feelings for this silver cat earlier—Rai, your name is?” Rai tips his head politely. “Since you were so eager to demonstrate your feelings publicly, doing so in song will come even more easily. Often, we get carried away with the great battles of famous Touga and Sanga pairs that we forget the most important part of their bond in the first place: each must have a heart for the other. The Touga fights for his Sanga, the Sanga lends his power to his Touga—but that doesn’t happen without an established relationship of caring trust between them. While it doesn’t have to be romantic, it almost always ends up that way—simply because of the nature of the bond.” 

I feel myself trying to slide lower in my seat, but Rai’s firm grip on my tail won’t let me. Out of the corner of my eye, he is watching me somewhat fascinated. Does he want me to try to sing for him? 

“So, Konoe—in the same way you wanted to tell Rai something outside just now, rather than using words, you used your body—a gesture—to get your feelings across. Try doing the same thing with a song.”

“A song?” I doubt my father—but even as those doubts appear in my mind, so does that vision of that pond, or whatever it was, deep within my core. All those feelings there—those were all different melodies, weren’t they?

Dad can tell when something shifts inside me.

“Yes, close your eyes and concentrate. You’ve located your source, haven’t you? To the Sanga, there is a bottomless well filled with melodies, just waiting to be extracted and explored—each has its own time. Now, see if you can find the song to best express the feeling you have.”

I’m standing before that well now, in fact. While before it looked like a pond, today it looks more like a well, probably because it’s what Dad called it. What do I want to say to the silver cat? 

What was I trying to tell him earlier? 

Strangely, I find myself distracted—thinking of his gorgeous looks—that silver hair, his pale blue eyes, his long silky fur, his soft lips—and how good they felt in my hands, pressed against my lips—and the feel of his firm, lean body when he was pressed against me. What do I want to express? Is it _longing_? I want to be in the woods alone with him again. I want him to touch me. I want to hear his voice. I want to feel his hands in caught in my hair, stroking along the length of my waist, his lips on my neck...

And I realize my skin is vibrating—not just my skin, but like a purr, my flesh and bones are vibrating, too—but not with a low rumbling sound. They are vibrating with _longing_. I hear a sigh escape my mouth—and it sounds rather vulgar, I think, but I can’t stop it—when I think of how much I want to be with him. 

I don’t care about shame. There is something more important to me than shame—even despite my father egging me on. In fact, right now, it feels like Rai is the only one in the room. When my song forms—gold tendrils of light float away from my body directly to the silver cat—engulfing him, wrapping him up like my arms want to do.

The light plays in his hair, sweeping through it gently—it touches his cheek—it ruffles the fur on his ears—almost like an extension of my own fingers. As soon as the light makes contact, I am hit full-force with a series of powerful feelings—one right after the other. 

I think these are Rai’s feelings. The most prominent one is desire. And it’s a clear and open desire for the small cat (that's me) whose tail he’s playfully stroking—in fact—I realize his reason for stroking it is not to tease but to make me feel good, to make me remember what I felt yesterday in the woods. That desire is a powerfully strong feeling—stronger still than I could have imagined, I think, perhaps even more powerful than mine—with bits of fantasy I don’t quite comprehend due to my lack of experience.

But it is very real—it is _not_ a prank. 

Then, there is a tenderness as well, one that is slowly seeping into the silver cat, softening him, a feeling he describes as _warmth_. It’s confusing, even to him—questioning the amount of control he still is able to maintain over himself are in his mind. _I have never wanted to touch someone as much as I have wanted to touch you_ , he seems to whisper. 

Suddenly, I feel my shoulders being pulled close—it’s Rai—he is pulling me in close to him, and I feel his lips pressing against mine—and that confuses the song slightly—changing it to something laced with more desire than simple yearning. And then I hear a hiss and a pop—and I realize I no longer can hear the song. 

However... Rai has me turned around in my chair and is kissing me on the lips in the middle of class.

I hear Dad chuckle—that’s all I need to startle me from my reverie—and worse, still, he begins a slow applause, which the class follows. That's the second time our kissing has been applauded today, and I notice the blue cat is not clapping. In fact, he looks remarkably sour. What did I do to him?

“That, class, was the awakening of a Sanga. Remarkably few Ribika will witness a Sanga sing in their lifetimes; yet you have been fortunate enough to witness the first song of a Sanga—an even more rare occurrence.” Is he talking about me?

I feel myself sliding from my chair, unable to keep myself upright, and before I realize what has happened, Rai has caught me—again—preventing me from hitting the floor.

“What is this? What’s wrong with him?” Rai is confused. 

“Ah, yes. He will be exhausted. The song is exhausting to sing, as beautiful as it is to hear. Konoe, you should practice daily with your precious partner. But be careful not to overdo it. Rai, can I trust you to get him some rest?”

“Of course,” Rai stands up, collecting his things and mine and carries me from the room. 

I see the blue-haired cat watching me jealously as I leave. What the fuck is his problem, anyway? I return his glare from the safety of Rai’s arms and resist the urge to stick my tongue out at him.

Rai brings me back to my apartment, taking the key from inside my front pocket—it tickles!—to open the door.

He kicks off his shoes when he walks inside, bringing me into my room. He sets me on the bed gently, pulling off my shoes. It’s a little strange he knows the way so easily and knows which room is mine, but he has been here before, I guess. 

“Are you feeling any better?” His voice is full of concern. He really does look worried.

“Oh, ah—I’m fine,” I say. “Just—I don’t have any energy.”

“Do you want to sleep?” 

“I’ll be fine if I rest a while,” I say. 

Rai brings my shoes to the door and then sits on the side of my bed. 

“Are you okay like this?” 

“Like how?” I ask, somewhat suspiciously. 

“I mean, your clothes will get wrinkled if you sleep in them,” Rai states. “Plus, this tie—it can’t be comfortable.”

Without waiting, he pulls the tie off my neck. 

“Also—I noticed yesterday, your trousers are very tight. Wouldn’t you be more comfortable if I just—?”

“No!” I interrupt. “I’m just fine!” 

Rai jerks his head up and lifts up both his hands—moving them away from my belt quickly—at the sound of my shout.

“You don’t _sound_ fine,” his voice is very collected, very cool, very neutral. “My adopted father says you should be comfortable when you rest. Why not let me help you—” 

“No!” I nearly shout again.

Rai smiles slightly.

“You’re _embarrassed_?”

“Um,” I don’t know how to respond. It’s true.

“Don’t be. Your body is nothing to be ashamed of. I rather like it. In fact, I find myself quite distracted by it from time to time. Plus, don’t you realize I’ve already seen most of you, anyway? Let me help you. It’s the least I can do as your Touga. You sang for me today. It was, um, a beautiful song.”

His voice is so soft. I suddenly forget why I resisting him in the first place, remembering the force of the feelings that flowed into me, and I nod. I let him unbutton my shirt, slip it off my shoulders, and throw it over the back of my chair. Then, he pulls my whole body closer by my belt, unbuckling it, pulling it from my waist, and draping it over the back of the chair.

I shiver a little. It’s not from the temperature.  

“Are you cold?” The words are whispered into my ear and followed by a firm lick, sending several more shivers down my spine along with a small sigh.

“Um,” I say—unsure of what to do. I bite my lip. What should I do?

“I won’t hurt you.” 

My heart is pounding hard enough to burst, and I can’t move or defend myself.

“W-wait!” I stammer. 

“It’s all right. If you don’t want me to touch you, I won’t. Just let me help you out of these so you can breathe. These are too tight to be comfortable.”

They are quite tight—but the next size up was too large everywhere and required even more hemming in the legs.

I’m still not quite relaxed, and I feel my ears burning as my trousers are pulled nearly inside out as they are peeled from my body. Thank gods that’s all that comes off...

Then, Rai curls up behind me on the bed, wrapping his arms around my chest, his hair draping over me, and his tail resting on my leg.

“It feels like your body is asleep,” Rai whispers. “But you still don’t want me to touch you?” 

“Ah—n-no,” I whisper. 

“Why? Do I frighten you?” 

“N-no,” I answer. “I just feel so vulnerable.” 

“You are no more vulnerable than you were when you sang to me. In some ways, you were more vulnerable while singing, since I could feel your feelings—and so, I’m confused. Why don’t you want me to touch you? I _know_ you feel the same way.”

What the silver cat is saying is true. 

“I’m so defenseless now,” I whisper. 

“Do you feel like you need to defend yourself from me? You are afraid, then,” Rai remarks. “I don’t wish to hurt you—I only want to make you feel... good. Like you made me feel with that song. I want you to lose yourself in those feelings. But I will not touch you if it’s what you wish. Is it all right if I just hold you like this?” 

“Please,” I whisper since it really does feel good. He feels warm, like home—only safer. And that makes me wonder... why _am_ I afraid? 

I feel one of his hands float up to my head—where he starts to firmly massage the base of my ears. It feels so nice that I can’t restrain my purr. It’s obnoxiously loud and wet sounding, almost vulgar—have I always purred like that? I’ve never noticed before. 

He returns my purr, and I feel his body gently vibrating behind me. It’s so soothing. 

“You know, your dad is still teaching his class,” Rai says softly, from behind me—his mouth very close to my ears. “He won’t be here from at least another half an hour. Perhaps you’re worried about the impression we gave him—outside of class—but that was nothing compared to the song you sang.”

I turn my head—because it’s all I can really move at this point—to get a better look at him. 

“Outside, you were just kissing me. That song in the class—it felt like you were trying to undress me with that song.” 

“Wh-what?” I’m stunned. Did it really sound that... direct? Was it obscene? “That’s not...” I’m about to try to protest and say that wasn’t my intention. I was simply trying to express my feelings about this silver cat. But that _was_  what I meant, wasn’t it?

“I’m not complaining—but it was way more intense than anything you and I were doing outside before class. Or in the woods yesterday.” He adds the last phrase on in a whisper, right into my ears, before stroking them with his fingers. “You can sing to me like that anytime. I’ve never felt anything like it.”

My body is turned to my other side, so I meet his gaze. He looks... different. His fur is ruffled up—even the fur on his tail bristles. He has an almost hungry look in his eyes, while he is watching me.

“Were you about to tell me that wasn’t your intention? What, then, exactly, were you trying to tell me with that song, Konoe?” His voice has dropped in pitch and volume, and my name is almost a murmur—another caress to my ears.

“I was just trying to communicate my feelings for you,” I argue, “In the same way my kissing you outside was trying to communicate a feeling I had.” 

“Can you put it into words?” 

“Um, it felt like longing or yearning...” and my mind starts to wander again. What was I thinking about? His hair, his fur, that fluffy tail—how his lips feel when they are pressed against mine, and how much I want to feel them again—and suddenly I realize I am awfully close to Rai. And he’s lying in my bed, his tail wrapped around my mostly naked body—and why the hell did I think it would be a good idea to take off my clothes?!

“Wait just a second,” I say.

“What.” 

“My clothes! It’s like you’re using every excuse you can to take off my clothes—” 

“Oh, not _every_ excuse!” Rai smirks slightly. “There were at least three times I could have stripped off your clothes while we were sparring yesterday, and I didn’t. I held back.”

A small gasp comes out of my mouth. “But you _thought_ about it?”  

“You were right _there_ , but I didn’t want to make you mad—and I might add—you’re right _here_ ,” he breathes softly, running a hand through my hair gently, touching my ears lightly. “You’re an awful tease, and you’re changing the subject.” 

“Oh,” I say quietly, looking down.

“Yearning and longing,” Rai answers. “It’s where you stopped. I think you got those feelings across really well, but even more than that, I felt like your song was wrapped up in my hair and fur—touching my ears—my body—just like that light—it felt like an extension of your feelings and your fingers.”

“Oh, no.” I moan into my hands. “I actually did all this—I sang this—in front of my dad? Do you think the other students noticed?” 

Rai lifts both his eyebrows and laughs. It’s a wonderful sound—I’m again struck by how wonderful it is—and my spirit lifts slightly.

“I’m sure every student in that class wished you were singing that song for him, Konoe,” Rai strokes my ears again. “Your dad is the _least_ of your worries—and, did I mention, he won’t be back here for a little while?”

He did, in fact, mention that—more than once. I realize that—even though I am supposed to be without power and recovering at the moment—I am currently pinning the large silver cat to my bed. He’s on his back while he is speaking to me—our lips just inches apart—and he simply continues stroking my ears.

“Realize, though—I will be very confused if you suddenly kiss me and still don’t want me to touch you. I’ll take that as a signal you are interested. If you don’t expect me to return your kiss, you must be crazy.”

“I wasn’t about to...” and I try to deny that I was about to kiss him. But I _was_. It would be the easiest thing in the world—just letting my head lower a little and our lips would meet for a moment—and I could feel his tongue. 

But more than that—I want his hands on me. That’s what I was singing, too. I was telling him I long for his touch. And that’s exactly what he heard. There is no denying what’s already been done.

“And class is going on for another half hour?” I ask softly.

“At least,” I feel a hand scratching between my ears again, and it’s relaxing. But he is not pulling me toward him. He is letting me make the first move. Why? Is he thinking I won’t dare? Or because I already know his intentions, he’s letting me decide the pace?

I lower my head just a little more and press our lips together gently. However, what I am expecting to be a gentle meeting of our lips is anything _but_ that.

The hand between my ears slips behind my nape, angling my head, giving him better access to my mouth. His other hand slips down to the base of my tail, making my own fur bristle. He also slides his legs underneath my body, raising me up higher on his torso so I am resting my bare stomach and chest against his torso.

To my shock, my hands, reaching out for support, slip underneath his shirt, sliding along the defined muscles of his abdomen and chest—and I find myself melting. His legs slip between mine, which gives him better access to my tail, and also, he presses his thigh in between my legs quite deliberately. I’m already really turned on, and having him press against me makes an obscene moan leak from my lips—which he proceeds to eat up with his own kisses. 

As he pulls me on top of him, the fervor of his returned caresses and kisses frighten me—just a little. I can feel his hardness pressing against my belly, right where I am lying on top of him—and again—my ears blush. His sheer size frightens me if I think about it too much, so I don’t. Instead, I’m just going to enjoy how he feels. How can he expose himself to me like this—so shamelessly?

But I’m the same. He lets his hands roam across my skin—drifting slowly over my back, along my waist, across my neck and shoulders, and I hear a purring growl.

I wonder—is it cruel to kiss someone if you know their intentions toward you are more involved than your own are? Am I giving my consent to sex right now? I start to worry, but I’m a little too concerned with the amount of saliva that is dripping from my lips and onto his throat and chest.

Is it okay for me to explore his body—like he is mine—if I don’t intend to go all the way—at least not today?

I look up at his face to ask, but my hands are already unbuttoning his shirt, and he pulls it off the rest of the way, impatiently, and then pulls me flush against him once more—as if he can’t get enough contact from my skin alone.

When he pulls off his shirt, his hair fluffs out and floats down around me—and it smells so good. I bury my nose in his hair, realizing now that I’m straddling him—kneeling over him, my thighs touching his—and I start to worry a little more.

Am I being a tease?

“Um, Rai,” I whisper into the soft white ears below me. 

“What.”

“Is it—is it okay...?” I don’t know how to ask, and I start to feel very flustered. “I don’t know if this is okay!”

Suddenly, I realize I’m in my bedroom, with not just another cat—but with that silver cat I saw our first day here—and I’m in my underwear, and I’m in the process of stripping off his clothes. What exactly _are_ my intentions?

Oh, gods—I can’t be doing this if I’m not prepared to go all the way, can I?

“Hey. What.” My chin is gently nudged, and my eyes are brought to look into the heated pale blue pair staring up at me. “Are you freaking out?”

“N-n-n-no,” I lie, my teeth starting to chatter. 

Oh, my _gods_! I’m practically _naked_!

I try to bring my tail up to cover myself, but it doesn’t work. It's moving too much.

“What’s wrong?” Rai’s voice is very soft. He sits up partway, keeping my body on top of his. 

“I-I-I...” my voice trails off, but my chin is nudged again.

“It’s okay. Relax. There is no pressure here, Konoe.” 

“No pressure?” I ask, somewhat relieved.

“None. We can stop whenever you would like.” 

A hand strokes my ears, rubs my hair lightly and then falls to my cheek. He runs his fingertips along my jaw and then lets his fingers dip along the line of my throat and my collarbone.

“Even though you told me your intentions?” 

“I still do not have your consent. I figure we’re just making out till I get an answer from you one way or the other. I hope you don’t expect me to stay stock still if you kiss me, though—for that, I think restraints would be required.” 

“Restraints?” I echo, thinking the word choice strange for this particular context. 

“Yes, restraints. You haven’t heard of doing such a thing before?” Rai lowers his voice even further. “It can release your inhibitions and give you a feeling a freedom, I’ve heard.”

“Have you tried it?” I ask, feeling myself blush. I’m not sure I want to know the answer to that question.

“Not yet—but I think you would be a prime candidate.”

“Why?”

“Well, imagine—if you were restrained in some way, you might not be able to help the feelings and sounds coming from your body, right? Wouldn’t it absolve you of a certain degree of guilt?”

“It’s not exactly  _guilt_ ,” I say. “It’s more a feeling that I don’t belong with you.” 

“Who are _you_ to decide such a thing?” Rai asks, his tone slightly teasing. “I’m wondering if I shouldn’t give you a small sample for making such a ridiculous comment.”

I’m slightly afraid, but I meet his gaze boldly.

“Go right ahead,” I say snarkily, but before I even finish my sentence, both my hands are pinned overhead and Rai is straddling me—the same position I was in just moments ago, only reversed, and I didn’t even feel him move—except now I'm trapped.

"So,” Rai whispers, “how does it feel?” 

I pull my hands against his, hard, to try to free them, but I can’t. Worse, I see he’s got me pinned with only one hand now. 

“Um—I don’t know,” I say, my voice quivering. My fluffy tail is trembling as well, and of course, it’s the first thing he notices. He pops the tip of my tail into his mouth—quite suddenly—making me lose my breath. It feels so good—that touch does.

“You don’t _know_ ,” he whispers into my ear. “Doesn’t the thought of me being able to do anything I like to your body bring up any feelings for you?” 

Every visible part (and probably some parts that aren’t visible, too) of my body flushes when he says those words. Is it fear? Not exactly. This feels _much_ more like anticipation than fear. I’m not even able to utter a single plea for him to let me go. 

“No begging for me?” he whispers, also into my ear, following the words with his tongue—which fills my ears with a strange squishing sound. It should feel vulgar and gross, shouldn't it... so why doesn't it? Why do I feel so hot?

The hand that doesn’t have my hands pinned strokes my chest and side, pausing at my hip. Suddenly, he moves again, and he starts licking my jaw, my throat, and my collarbone.

“Mmmm—ah,” moans and sighs are coming out of my mouth in uncontrollably loud bursts. He was doing that before, too—but now, I cannot move or defend myself, and it’s so much hotter. I can hardly catch a breath.

I’m almost ashamed by how much I like this feeling—I’m being forced to endure his touch—even if I didn’t want it, I’d have to trust him with my body—and it’s so hot! 

The purring that comes out of this cat is much rougher than mine—it’s almost a growl—and it’s frightening—or rather, it would be frightening if what he was doing didn’t feel so good. And if I didn’t think he’d stop if I asked.

He’s leaving small bites along my collarbone before he drops his face to my chest and licks my nipples—one after the other. I’ve never been touched there by another cat, and I’m surprised at how sensitive they feel. His fingers are a completely different touch than that indecent sounding mouth. 

But I can’t help it—I love it. I want him to feel like this, too—but I can’t seem to get ahold of myself. The idea of me restraining him, being able to do something like this to _him_ —maybe when he is least expecting him, like when he is sleeping, in the nude—is almost too much for me to take. I start to feel a little lightheaded.

Then, still keeping my hands pinned, leaving me to only watch helplessly, I watch as his face drops lower—dipping into my belly, into my bellybutton, his other hand working on massaging my tail. But then, he brings a hand up to his face. With claws drawn, I watch him comb through the soft tuft of fur just below my navel. It’s blonde—almost white—close to the color of fur on my ears—but to feel not someone’s claws—but _his_ claws—is a lot for me to handle.

I don’t even notice when he releases my hands to bring both of his under my hips, lifting them up almost violently. 

“Where are you licking me?!” I want to protest, but I'm not sure if the words come out, and I don’t ask him to stop, nor do I struggle. I’m unable to breathe for all my indecent panting.

In some ways, I realize I have to tell him to stop—and _soon_ —unless I really think sex is a good idea today—and I don’t have a clue where that would lead.

“Please...” is all that comes out of me. 

Rai stops what he is doing and takes a look at my face. 

“Do you want me to stop? Or slow down? I am happy to do either,” Rai drops a kiss on the inside of my thigh, and that alone sends a bolt of dangerous heat through my body. His claws grip the waistband of my underwear, running along the edge, and then the legs, also right along the edge. 

“Please,” I try again, unable to catch my breath. “This is all new to me. Maybe we should slow down a little?” I really think I might pass out, but I’m already lying flat.

“I did get a little carried away,” Rai whispers. “It’s just that the idea of restraining you is quite a turn on for me—and the idea of you restraining me...”

My jaw goes a little slack since I was thinking the same thought. What would I even do to him if he were restrained? I find myself on top of him again, attacking his ears. They are much thicker than mine, but I manage to turn one wrong side out with my rough grooming.

“I could touch your tail as much as I like,” I say playfully.

Rai nervously thumps his tail against the bed. 

“Won’t you let me groom it?” I try catching the tip again. 

“My tail? Why?”

“It’s beautiful, soft, fluffy—I just want to touch it.” He waves it just out of my reach. I must be feeling better because I actually pounce on him to get to that tail.

“Oy,” he says, almost growling, “I’m particular about my tail.” 

“I can see that,” I say. “But you like my fur, don’t you?” I wave my tail in front of his face provocatively. He grabs the tip with both hands and pulls it into his mouth, making me shiver again. “I must do a decent job grooming my own if you like mine all right.”

“Has your tail always had this shape?” Rai has me pinned to the bed face down, so he can stroke my tail as much as he likes. I think he is trying to distract me, and it's working.

Strange sounds are leaking of my mouth in response to his touching—this is _not_ grooming—not at all.

“Hey—hey!” I start to struggle. “Wait! Hey! Please,” I start to beg. 

“Please, _what_ ,” Rai doesn’t exactly ask, still licking my tail—roughly, aggressively. No wonder he doesn’t want me to touch his tail. His tongue is way rougher than mine—and he’s using much less saliva than I do—this is way too intense, too much...

“Ah—" I protest. “Please—”

“So, you’re using such nice manners,” the silver cat teases, now licking just the hooked part, keeping his eyes on my face. “But if you don’t tell me what you want, there’s no way I can know...”

“Too _much_!” I whisper. “Please...”

“Please more?” Rai asks, and he grabs my tail at the base and starts that hypnotic massage.

All my fur fluffs out—all over my body—and my breath hitches suddenly. I think—oh, my gods—I think I may have just passed the point of no return. 

I’m lying curled up on my stomach, sort of in a ball—with the silver cat lying on top of me, one hand massaging the base of my tail, almost like he’s fucking it, and the other stroking the hip that’s in the air. The tip of my tail is in his mouth— _all_ of the hooked portion—and he’s got his tongue wrapped around it, and his teeth are nipping me slightly.   I’m completely overwhelmed by the sensations, shivers going into my back and shoulders, traveling up my spine.

When the hand on my hip starts to travel around toward the front of my body—toward the fur that’s just below my navel—that fur that’s all fluffed up—and I feel claws extend on his fingers, and then the vibration from his purr are vibrating my tail, my body, and I speed up my breathing—and my vision blanks out completely.

My gasping suddenly stops—and I let out a short, desperate cry—and I realize—oh _shit_ —apparently, I can... come from someone playing with my tail.

I had no idea! 

A sense of utter relaxation comes over my body as waves of pleasure flood into my limbs, and I let out a huge purring sigh.

“Oh, my gods,” I whisper. That was so much better than trying to do something myself in the shower! I had _no_ idea!

But I’m so embarrassed now—I can’t believe I just _did_ that—I let myself be seen in such a state of depravity in front of such a dignified cat! I’m almost afraid to open my eyes, but I feel myself nudged—it’s something soft on my chin.

Rai’s lips. Kissing me, fervently. His purr has not calmed down in the least. 

“Holy shit,” Rai whispers. “That was _amazing_. I didn’t know you could do it from tailplay _alone_. That is so fucking _hot_!” He sounds like a kitten at Christmas, and he has a ridiculous wide smile on his face. It’s absolutely adorable—the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. “But I think I heard the front door open a few minutes ago. Is that probably your dad?”

“ _Minutes_ ago? Oh, my gods!” I shout. “You have to get dressed!” 

“Why?” Rai asks.

“Dad will come waltzing in here—” I hiss. 

“So what?”

“But—” 

“Konoe, after that song, what exactly do you think he sent us back here to _do_? I heard the door open a _while_ ago, and he’s left us alone so far. I’m sure he, uh, heard you. There's no way he missed that.” Rai has a rather sly grin on his face.

“What?” I try to sit up, but I'm confused. I’m _really_ embarrassed. Was I _that_ loud?

“Tch, just relax,” Rai pushes me back to the mattress. “Lie down. If it really bothers you, I’ll get dressed.”

“Shh!” I hiss again.  _Why_ is Rai talking so loud? Dad is probably listening at the door! He should totally understand these things, shouldn’t he? Bardo is the exact same way, after all.

“This is totally natural. Just relax,” Rai says. “Here.” 

He hands me a towel, which I left hanging over the side of the laundry basket.

“Ah, thank you,” I take it, blushing fiercely.

“But seriously,” Rai looks at me. “That was incredible. So when you said you don’t want me to play with your tail in class... is _this_ why?”

“Mmmm,” I reply. I don’t even know what to say to that! 

“Do you think I could get you _that_ worked up in class?” Rai is suddenly hovering over me again. “I want to _try_ it! How long do you need before we can try that again?”

“Uwaa— _no_!” I say, shrinking away slightly. “ _Not_ when my dad is in the next room! He is _way_ too nosy!”

“What? He’s been great,” Rai says. “If it were Bardo, we’d be in for the health lecture.” Except that I’ve already had one of those today, I think. 

Rai already has his shirt buttoned and tied. He helps me with my tie, straightening my collar. 

“Feeling better now?” he asks. It’s three words, but somehow, he makes them sound dirty. I don’t know how he does it. I try not to let it bother me, but it does _indeed_ ruffle my fur. I click my tongue, and he smiles at me. He is doing it on purpose!

When I pull the door open to my room, Dad certainly is home, and to my surprise, I find him in front of the stove, making a very early dinner.

“It sounded like you were working up an appetite, Konoe,” Dad says, turning to me and grinning. “Thanks for taking such good care of my boy, Rai.”

Oh, my gods. We are _not_ going to have this conversation.

“Please, sit and eat,” Dad waves toward the table, which has three place settings set out—to my dismay. I’m really embarrassed.

“Dad, we already have pl—” I start, but Rai pulls me forward and pushes me down into a chair.

“Thanks, Shui-Sensei,” the silver cat says graciously, sending me a look. “I’m sure he’s starving. We’d love to join you.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rai is invited to stay for dinner.
> 
> A small inner and outer dialogue from Shui's POV, outer because he can't help being curious about what that noise was when he first came home. What exactly were they doing in there? And he is living vicariously through Konoe's wonderful first love experience but is overly concerned about having taught him about being a considerate lover.
> 
> Then, switch back to Konoe's POV, who walks Rai home. He is almost too excited to see where Rai sleeps. He is invited in, is unable to decline, and also feels like he doesn't want their relationship to be so one-sided, but if he wants to wait to have sex, what else can he do?
> 
> He figures things out once he gets there. There may be some alcohol involved.

**Shui** :

Why are his ears drooping like that? I mean, it sounded like they were having a pretty good time in there, and I even gave them privacy—so I don’t understand why he won’t even look at me now. God, it’s not _guilt_ , is it? For a moment, I’m horrified. Could _I_ have raised a child who feels guilty about having a perfectly healthy sex drive? That is not possible.

Honestly, this child—if he didn’t look exactly like his mother, I’d wonder if they made a mistake, maybe a mixup somewhere along the way—except that I was there for his birth. I _know_ he’s my child. He’s always been moody like this, too, and strangely squeamish when it comes to sex.

He did so well expressing himself—I thought that blue cat was going to come all over himself in class just from listening to his song, both the blue-haired cat and the Kiran cat gazed at him with more than a casual interest—who knew that my little boy had _another_ secret admirer—or is it that the blue cat likes Rai? I suppose that could be it, too. Ah, how exciting! A love triangle!

I worry for my little guy, though—he’s awfully clueless.

I mean, looking at them now—I can tell the silver cat is still spun up, obviously, but Konoe is nearly comatose. What the hell was going on in his room?

However, in any case, now I know for a _fact_ that boy is _not_ taking care of himself like he should be since I’ve _never_ heard him make any noise like that before. Not even once! Not even close—though I know he has had it in him all this time.

I can’t keep my happiness to myself, and I wonder if there is a way for me to gently encourage them to experiment a little more—or if I can talk to Konoe, just to make sure everything is all right.

“Konoe, help me with the dishes for a second?” I ask, keeping my voice nice and light. 

The face that peers back at me is full of terror—and I mean, sheer _terror_. He drags himself up out of his chair, full of reluctance, walking along in typical death march fashion, carrying dishes to the kitchen. 

Shit, what does he think I’m going to _do_? _Bite_ him? _Rebuke_ him? Come on, now! I’m a _good_ dad! 

“Honey, just relax. It’s _fine_. This is all _normal_ —it’s all a perfectly _normal_ part of your development, and I’m so glad it’s going well,” I try to keep my voice neutral and even, despite my vicarious excitement. Ah—it’s his first love! I’m just _so_ excited. 

“Dad,” he has that warning sound in his voice again like he had earlier in class.

“What is it?”

“You’re being weird,” he says, turning to look at me with his arms crossed, his voice lowered to a hiss. “You’ve convinced him to join us for dinner, so are you happy now?” He’s implying, but not directly saying, “happy enough to butt out?”

“I just... couldn’t help noticing that while _you_ look very relaxed, your silver friend still looks quite tense,” I say tentatively. Konoe visibly flinches. Does he feel guilty? I didn’t raise my son to feel guilty about sex. “I know I taught you better than that. You know it works both ways, don’t you?” 

“I-I-I,” he starts to stammer immediately, and it’s like I’ve caught him with his hand in the cookie jar. “That’s not exactly...” 

“I _heard_ you—you make lots of noise so I know when to keep away. That’s great for your partner, too—he probably loves it.”

“Dad!” Gods, his little ears are so red! He’s so cute! I can hardly stand it.

“So—how was it? What did you think? Better than by yourself, right? It sounded like you were enjoying yourself quite a lot.”

“Dad!” He won't meet my gaze now.

“Just... don’t leave him hanging. It’s unkind to sing to someone in _that_ way and then leave him hanging. I even had to end class early because of that damned song of yours! So distracting! I never thought you had it in you—but _that_ , you definitely get from me.” 

“What?”

“Sex appeal,” I answer simply.

“Dad! We didn’t even—it was just an accident—we weren’t even, um—uwaa—I’m just so embarrassed—I didn’t even know that you could do it that way—”

“What?” My ears are perked up now. “Do it _what_ way?” Did they actually _have_ _sex_? Did my baby get his first blow job? Oh,  _no_ —I’m not sure I’m ready for that just yet. “What happened? Did he—” 

I corner Konoe in the kitchen because this I absolutely _have_ to know. As his father, it's important for me to know these things, and make sure his sex life is fulfilling, right? If he’s having sex before his first heat, it could also make his Sanga song develop strangely. What if this cat isn’t his lifelong Touga partner after all? They are awfully young. Perhaps for penetrative sex, they should indeed wait till for the heat to arrive. Rai is much larger than my boy, after all—it would only be more comfortable for him that way. 

“Did he fuck you?”

“Dad...” Konoe cowers a little, keeping his face lowered. The way he’s avoiding looking at my face makes me think he doesn’t want to tell me, yet it makes me all the more curious. Something happened, and I need to know exactly _what_.

“Konoe, I’ve taken good care to educate you. You know I have your health at heart. While love is a wonderful thing, penetrative anal sex will _hurt_ if your partner doesn’t take enough time to prepare you and use lubricant.”

“Oh, my gods, _Dad_! We didn’t even get that far!”

I breathe a sigh of relief. But I’m left in utter confusion. Because the look that silver cat has given my son is definitely one I recognize. He has definitely seen my son in the throes of passion. He’s seen Konoe lose himself to pleasure and wants to see it again. I know that look well, based on how many people have gazed at me with that same expression over the years.

“So, why was he looking at you like that?”

“Like what?”

“Rai—all through dinner—he kept staring at you, thinking about what he just saw, what you just did. It’s more than obvious. Did he touch you?”

“Dad! Well, we, um, kissed and stuff...”

Good, keep him talking.

“And what ‘stuff’?” I tap my foot somewhat impatiently.

“Dad,” Konoe protests. “It’s not really your business, is it?”

“It is if it’s _before_ you go into heat!” I press, rather more urgently than I need to. I don’t mean to scare him—nothing will happen, really. I just want to make sure he’s all right and taking care of his partner. I know if I approach it this way, I can frighten him into talking to me. 

“Why??” Konoe looks worried.

“Well, things can happen,” I say ominously, refusing to meet his gaze.

“What... things?” His pink ears perk up, his voice is covered in fear. Not really my intention, but hell, at least he’s talking!

“Well, that all depends on what you did. Did he jerk you off?”

“Gods, Dad! No! He didn’t even touch me, er, _there_. He is waiting for my consent.”

“What?” I’m even more confused now. I guess that’s good, especially considering how shy Konoe is. Well, I _thought_ he was he was shy, but that song he sang in class sure as fuck wasn’t shy! 

“Yeah, this morning he pretty much directly told me he is interested in me... in _that_ way.” Konoe looks up at me and shifts his eyes away shyly. He can’t even bring himself to say “sexually.” It’s awfully cute.

“Is that what made you faint?”

“I think so—between that and the realization that he sleeps naked...”

“Pretty amazing to fantasize about that, isn’t it? But it's very healthy for long-haired cats,” I say. 

“Uwaa! Dad!”

“So... why was he looking at you like that?”

“I don’t know what you mean,” but he won’t meet my gaze, so I think he _does_.

“Then, I probably can’t really tell you about the things that _could_ happen, either,” I respond. He flinches again. 

“But he didn’t even touch me, um, _there_ —and he kept his clothes on—mostly...”

Which means Konoe was at least partly undressed, if not completely naked, _again_. Gods, maybe my son is more like me than I realize—always taking his clothes off, given the chance. Those two are really going to get up to some stuff, I think.

“You were making some noise when I came home. I could hear you through the door.”

“I just liked how he was touching my tail,” Konoe says quietly, blushing furiously. It sounds like a horribly guilty confession. I don’t understand his response at first.

“Your tail?” I ask. Wait just a second. Is it possible...? I look at Konoe’s face again. His cheeks as flushed pink and his ears are red, just when I echo his words. “All that noise—was just from him stroking your tail?”

“He maybe had the tip in his mouth, too,” Konoe confesses in a near whisper. “Is that _bad_? Dad? What is _wrong_ with me? I wasn’t even _naked_! It took almost _no_ time at all—and it was like there was suddenly a point I couldn’t back up from. I didn't know that could happen from someone touching my tail! What is wrong with me? I was so surprised—it was hardly _any_ effort—not on his part _or_ mine! It was like my body belonged to someone else!”

He sounds so desperate—his eyes are wide—the color of melted honey, just how I remember his mother—and oh, does he look like someone else right now! Who _also_ has that exact same gift! I wonder if it’s a coincidence? Or a result of that time he healed Konoe when he was just a baby? Did he pass that trait along to him as well? The same way he passed on his fear of fire and his lack of direction?

“Don’t worry, Konoe,” I wrap my arms around him tightly. “What you have is a special _gift_. Not many Ribika have this ability. I enjoy having my tail groomed, but I need more than just that to, well, actually get off. What you have is special, but not unheard of. There is nothing wrong with you. You've always been a bit more sensitive, so this is no surprise.”

I’m also hugely relieved. If they just met, they perhaps shouldn’t be moving quite so quickly—although, good for that boy for knowing what he wants. 

“It _was_ consensual, wasn’t it?”

“Oh, yes,” Konoe says—and he gets a sweet dreamy look in his eyes. Ah—young love! It sends a little shiver through my body and reminds me of my own plans this evening.

“Why don’t you walk Rai home? Maybe make this relationship of yours official?”

“Official?” Konoe asks, his tail freezing in place for a moment. 

“Ask him out. Make an honest cat out of him.” 

Konoe smiles—that warm, gentle smile—that’s all I need to see from him to know he's going to be just fine.

“Let’s go!” I hear his cheerful voice in the dining room.

“What—are we done here?”

“Yep, I’ll walk you home. I want to see where you sleep—uwaa!—I mean, where you live.” 

I happen to see Konoe’s shy blushing face as he quickly recovers that slip of the tongue. I’m so thankful to see him developing into a real hormonal Ribika now. 

“Thank you for dinner,” Rai says. Such a polite young man, I think. And handsome, too. My son couldn’t have done much better if I do say so myself. He must be quite a Touga, I imagine, which is probably partly why they feel such a strong attraction to each other.

When Konoe sang in class today, though—I was amazed. First, I didn’t expect it to be such an earnest love song, right on par with what I’d asked of him. I was almost expecting him to sing a get-the-fuck-away song, dedicated to me, complete with a limerick. Second, I never expected my little boy to be so specific! There was no mistaking for whom that song was intended. I could feel his desire to run his hands through that silver hair—nuzzle his nose in it—and to feel those strong arms wrapped around his body.

I wonder, if they keep up this level of intensity, will they even be able to wait till mating season? I probably shouldn't worry too much about it. That silver cat seems to know what he's doing.

“Remember what I told you, Konoe,” I remind him lightly, making his ears blush and earning myself a small growl of protest. Rai looks at him curiously. “Take your time coming home, all right?”

“Dad!” Konoe snaps at me again, and I cover my smile. He really is too cute. He bends down to grab Rai’s bag and pulls the larger cat out of his chair.

I watch them head out the door. I start putting a few items into a bento box for my own private dinner plans, humming happily to myself. I’m just so proud! 

* * *

**Konoe** :

 _Embarrassing_! This entire day has been one giant shameful day. I cannot believe that conversation! Dad just asked me a question involving the f-word. _And_ I just told my dad what happened! Shit! Oh, shit. And I feel terribly guilty. I really shouldn’t allow Rai to serve me so one-sidedly. I know that—but what should I do? 

“What was he talking to you about in the kitchen so seriously?” Rai asks, draping an arm around my shoulders and slowing his gait to match mine. It feels so nice to have him close to me like this—almost natural—if I didn’t feel so damnd nervous, anyway.

“Oh—he was just being nosy,” I reply, being purposefully vague.

“Speaking of nosy,” Rai looks up suddenly. We are still close to teacher housing, close to the one-bedroom units now. “Do you mind taking a little shortcut?”

“Eh?” I‘m confused, but I let him pull my arm through the path that leads through the forest. It’s dusk already—the sun is setting behind the trees, and the forest path is quiet and dark.

Just beyond the path, I hear a softly babbling brook. I don’t remember that the last time we were out this way, but we were on the other side, close to the classrooms, and I was slightly distracted. Now, as I look over in the direction of the water, I see something odd—green, shimmering lights—rising up from the ground in the distance.

“What _is_ that?” I whisper. They look like _fairies_!

“Ah, they don’t have those in Setsura, either. Come on. We'll take a closer look,” Rai pulls me off the path and toward the sound of the water. 

When we approach, thousands of tiny green lights float up from the ground on either side of the small brook—it’s too small to be a river, really—into the sky. They look magical. 

“What _is_ this?” I cannot keep the country bumpkin out of my voice. It’s filled with awe.  So pretty! 

Rai reaches out, catching one of the small lights in his hand. When he opens it, I realize it’s a small, rather ugly-looking bug, with a glowing tail. He releases it into the air, and when it flies away, its light shines brightly as it moves upward.

“Oh,” I sigh. I find myself unable to move—I’m captivated by the momentary beauty of the scene around me—and the pale green light happens to light up the silver cat’s hair, fur and pale skin in all the right places, making him look like some incredible, magical god from ancient Ribikan history—as if he is the one giving the power to these strange bugs to light up the sky like this.

“It’s so pretty,” I breathe softly. “What _are_ these things?” 

“Fireflies,” Rai says. “They have a short season—they only live for a few weeks at the end of summer. Most cats from the area don’t even notice them anymore, but I find them rather enchanting.” 

His eyes look almost green in the light, and he’s watching the bugs float in the air with a soft smile on his face.

It’s kind of romantic here, isn’t it?

I reach out and grab hold of his hand, and he looks down at me for a moment.

“Rai,” I say quietly.  _Be bold!_

“Hmm?”

“Would you,” I start, and I realize I maybe don’t want to just ask him to be my boyfriend. Isn't that kind of immature, I mean, especially compared to what he said to me this morning? I blush a little when I remember. I take a deep breath. “I’d like to...” What? _Be your Sanga?_ Could I be any sappier than that? This is so much harder than I was expecting!

“What.” A not-question, spoken softly.

“I want you to be my first.”

Oh, shit! That was _way_ more direct than I’d intended. I peep up at him, but I’ve definitely grabbed his interest and attention. His ears are perked up—and gods, those ears of his are so damn cute.

“Your first? Is this you stating your intentions?” Rai takes my other hand and looks into my eyes. 

“I’ve heard it can be helpful for breeds my size to wait for mating season to, um, get involved in, um,” my toe is digging around in a root on the forest floor, as if to find the words I want there, “uh, or um, to consummate sexual relationships. At least when there’s a significant difference in stature.”

“You’re shaking like a leaf,” Rai says, his voice so soft and sexy I can hardly stand it. "Does the thought frighten you?"

“You don’t have to point out every little thing,” I say sulkily. “I’m trying my best, but I-I’m just not as bold as you.” 

“Oh, I wouldn’t be so sure about that,” Rai answers, kissing my fingers, deliberately sucking one of them into his mouth. It feels incredibly sexy, and it does _nothing_ to stop my trembling. “You sang that song for me—in front of all those students. You kissed me in front of the entire school, and in front of your father. I'm not sure I would have dared do such a thing.”

“I-i couldn’t help myself!” I protest. “Something happens to me when I’m around you, and I just completely lose my self-control!”

“Hou? What a compliment," Rai says, again in that soft voice. "I’m not complaining. You feel free to lose control around me anytime you like.”

“So... will you wait for me?” I ask softly. “I’m new to this—to all of these feelings. But I know I want to do those things... with you. I just want to be sure I’m ready.”

A soft smile spreads across his face. He looks enchanting.

“Take all the time you need. We can go as slow as you like. Konoe, there is no pressure here. If you feel anything like pressure, please—just tell me, and I will back off. I’ve been through the mating season before, but I’ve never desired someone like this before, so this is new to me, too.”

My hands are pulled close, and I feel something brushing my ears—Rai’s lips and his tongue—licking my ears—and sending small shivers down my spine, my neck, my shoulders. A sigh I don’t bother suppressing leaks from of my mouth. He smells so good. How can anyone be allowed to smell so good?

We’re alone out here, aren’t we? 

I can’t tell if he’s kissing me or grooming me—but that touch is _very_ close to what I felt on my tail—and just as I think that—I feel a hand slide down my back to the base of my tail.

“Ah—” I sigh. I don’t think that’s such a good idea. Not out here.

“I just couldn’t stop thinking about you during dinner,” Rai whispers into my ears, his breath moving the fur deep inside my ears while stroking my tail softly. He’s not massaging it like he was earlier, but he doesn’t have to. I’m hard as a rock when he’s simply talking about it.

“Uh-um, wait—maybe not out here...” 

“The sounds that came out of your mouth, the look on your face—I want to see more of that, Konoe, much more. Let me see more of you.”

“But n-not right here?” I shift my shoulder up slightly, trying to defend myself from the grooming and kissing of my ears.

“Why? You don’t want to?” His words are so desperate, so breathless...

Oh, I _want_ to, all right. I want to _very_ much.

“Just... what if someone walks by?”

“I’d say the chances are good they’d be doing the same things we are and they’d have no room to talk. You’re such a shy one,” Rai says, slightly frustrated. “Should we go back to my place, then?”

“Okay,” I say. “Do you live in the dorms?”

“No. I have a student apartment.” He pulls me back toward the path, keeping my body close to his.

“Who do you live with?” I ask, following him closely through the woods, watching the last of the fireflies over my shoulder.

“No one. It’s just me.”

“You live alone?” That’s so sad, I think. Although—not really. I enjoyed the times I spent alone, when Dad would travel, I suppose. Perhaps he doesn’t mind so much, either.

“I do,” Rai says. “But you can come and see me anytime.” I notice the way he emphasizes the word come a little too much in that sentence. Was it deliberate? Is he teasing me?

 “Anytime?” I ask, my mind floating immediately to the image of him sleeping, in bed, naked. Why is that always the first thing that comes to mind? Is this silver cat in various states of undress the only thing on my mind these days? I feel slightly obsessive.

“Of course. Maybe you can move in with me at some point if you like.”

“What?” I try to keep my feet moving, though I'm shocked he would suggest such a thing.

“Ah—too soon? Too direct. Again.” He smiles down at me. “I’m sorry.”

If I lived with him, I could see him sleep naked whenever I wanted. Wait—would we share a bed?? Uwaa!

More importantly, what am I going to do when I get to his place? I’m still trying to decide. I want to be the thoughtful lover that Dad accused me of _not_ being earlier—but how? If we aren’t having sex... what else can I do?

We arrive at his front door.

“Would you like to come in?” Rai asks.

“Please!” I say. “Thanks for having me,” I say upon entering.

“You are welcome anytime.” He turns toward me as he slips his shoes off at the door. I’m surprised to see him do this. His apartment is lit by lamps, of course—but he uses guiding leaves this evening for some reason.

Does he know? Ah—he does, I remember. He figured it out and told me this morning. Still, it’s kind of him to make me feel comfortable. 

“Would you like something to drink?”

“Um, are you having something?”

“I was thinking about it,” Rai says. He pulls something from the top cabinet and pulls out two small glasses. He pours a small amount into each glass and lifts up his glass in a toast. “Here’s to new seasons and to bonding.”

I lift up the glass and clink it against his. I take a small sniff of the liquid in the glass—it looks like a greenish brown syrup. When I take a sip, it tastes good at first—minty—but it burns my throat when it goes down.

Alcohol?? He has alcohol? Why? And now I'm drinking it!

“Hey, is this alcohol?” I ask after I’m done coughing. 

“Yeah, why?”

“I haven’t ever had anything with alcohol before,” I confess.

“Hou? This should be fun,” Rai’s eyes sparkle in the low light. “Growing up, we'd drink this after dinner, starting from a young age. Bardo taught me to brew it. It's catnip liquor.”

He downs the entire glass, and I choke mine down the same way. He pours a second glass.

“To experimentation,” Rai says, clinking his glass against mine and drinking the entire thing.

That toast gives me a _great_ idea. I finish the second glass in one gulp, choking a little less this time, and my stomach feels nice and warm. I’ve just figured out what I want to do. Now--how to bring it up?

“What you said earlier today—I can’t stop thinking about it,” I say, purposely cryptic.

“About what?” Rai pours another round.

“When you mentioned restraints,” I glance up under my lashes briefly, just to see if I have his attention, and oh, do I!

“Restraints?” He looks up at me, suddenly very interested.

“I was wondering... were you serious?”

He leans across the table. I forget how tall he is from time to time, especially since we are both seated on the floor. But he can almost reach me across the table, just leaning across it.

“Was I serious about what?” I can hear his voice has taken on a slight teasing tone. That’s all right. I figured he’d make me say everything out loud, and I’m prepared.

“I was wondering if you were serious about wanting to try it. I mean, try _being_  the one restrained. Because I want to try it. I want _you_ to be restrained. I want to see if you like it, and I think I will really like it.”

“Hou?” Rai can’t take his eyes off me. “What would you do to me if I were restrained?” 

“Nothing bad—and nothing you wouldn’t like, I’m sure. I’d stop if you asked me to, just like you did. I just want to try it—see if evening out the tables would make me feel any different. And maybe...”

I look up at him again.

“Maybe I’d feel a little less guilty about this afternoon.”

I hear a soft gasp.

“I just don’t like things to be so one-sided,” I say. “So... how serious were you?”

He has such nice straight white teeth. I think I’ll take that smile as a yes. I can’t keep the smile from my face.

“Hang on—one more—for courage,” Rai says, pouring one more and clinking my glass.

“Courage,” I agree, downing the liquor.

Is he a little nervous, too? I wonder. Maybe he should be. He pulls me up to stand and drags me into his bedroom.

His bed is _right_ under the window—and my gods, the moon shines in, hitting the bed exactly like I imagined. I start to feel a little weird—like those fireflies we saw are flying around in my belly. But I don’t have time for that: I am a cat with a _purpose_. I have a feeling about this silver cat—despite what Dad told me—I have a gut  _feeling_.

“Get on the bed,” I say quietly. I get a little shiver from ordering the silver cat around, and another one when he obeys. What the hell!?

He’s sitting on the bed now, and I look around for a moment. He looks so young—and he still looks just a little nervous.

First, I climb on top of his lap and kiss him, while unbuttoning his shirt. I’ve decided I’ll restrain his wrists, but I want this shirt off first. And I’m not just going to strip him—or ask him to strip, though if I asked he probably would, eagerly—and another shiver goes through me at that thought—I want to do this _naturally_.

Is there a natural way to tie your boyfriend up to the bedframe?

The window is open a little, but I don’t let that bother me—I don’t realize till much later that I probably should be stifling my voice a little more—if his window is open—but I’ve got his shirt unbuttoned and slipped off. 

Strangely, my shirt is unbuttoned, too, and I didn’t do that.

“You’re not supposed to be doing anything,” I say softly.

“Then you’d better figure this out,” Rai replies gently, “or you may be in bigger trouble than you planned.” 

I use my belt for one of his wrists. I think he is slightly disappointed when he sees me using my belt as a restraint, after watching me unbuckling it so enthusiastically. He’s messing around with my tail with his other hand, so I use his belt to restrain that mischevious hand, and then I unzip his trousers and slide them off his hips. His underwear is black—or dark blue—and they look like boxer shorts, only snug and amazingly flattering. I try not to look too closely, or I might freak out.

“How do you feel?” I ask, sitting on top of him, my clothes in complete disarray, but with him in just his underwear. I cannot believe he’s letting me do this to him. I am so amazingly hard right now—but he is, too—I can feel him straining through his underwear. I almost want to put my mouth down there—just maybe breathe against him softly or something...

Uwaa! I _can’t_ —I just _can’t_ do that. How am I even _thinking_ about that?! At least—not yet. Not today. This is about _grooming_ —about grooming his _tail_ , specifically. Although—when I pull at the base of his tail, a rather strange sound comes out of him, and I watch with some fascination as the fur on his tail stands up perpendicularly, every last strand stands on end—the fur on his ears changes too—and that silver tuft right below his navel—which... seems to be calling out to me. 

I think I was right. I think he _is_ like me.

His fur feels like silk in my fingers, and I draw my claws. He had me pinned on my stomach, but here is a cat who likes to _watch_ , so I’m going to let him watch. Starting at the very base of his tail, I run my fingers and claws through his thick, plush fur. It shimmers in the moonlight, just like I thought it would.

He is amazingly  _beautiful_.

What is he doing here with _me_?

I feel something shift inside my body—in that gurgling well I felt earlier today—is it another song trying to escape? Would it be bad to sing again? He’s watching me so closely and I want him to know how beautiful I think he is... but to say it, just like that—I don’t think I can do that so directly.

Instead, I search that well, and let my body take over.

I wet my fingers and claws with my mouth, and I lower my face a little, and I hear him let out a gasp. I was just going to put my damp claws on his tail, but instead, I run my tongue along the length of that tail, and I hear a sound come out of the cat below me, and he closes his eyes—but only for a moment. 

It’s almost as though he doesn’t want to miss anything.

"Your tongue—it's much softer than mine..." he whispers.

I keep my eyes on his face, watching his expressions, listening to his response, and when his face softens at the sound of my melody—it flows naturally, saying only, _you are beautiful_ —I hear his voice. 

“Another song—for me?”

The light reaches out from my body to touch him—like additional hands—like fingers, really—stroking him, playing in his hair, tickling his ears, touching his stomach, even his thighs, quite daringly, even daring to touch parts of him I haven’t dared to touch with my hands...yet. I’m a little surprised at what that light is doing—it's so much braver than my hands are.

I’m also immediately flooded with a huge wave of desire, heat, and passion—so much that it frightens me. It feels almost like he wants to eat me right up—but he represses so much of his response, it’s hard to read what he is feeling without this song as a medium.

 _Just touch me however you want to touch me, no pressure—but I like that. I like your hands on me. I love the touch of your skin against mine—and your tongue is so much softer and smoother than mine_ —I feel that I was probably right in my guess by the amount of tension he is feeling when I pull his tail through my claws and my lips. 

My entire body is lighting up the room with a soft warm glow—and I can’t resist the urge to groom the fur on his belly. 

I think I hear him make a protesting sound, but I keep my hands moving, and I coil my right hand around the base of his tail, keeping a firm grip.

It’s hard not to accidentally touch his ass like this, so I do that deliberately—he's so muscular—it’s why he can move so fast—and why his trousers look so damn good, and why every cat watches him walk past.

And I hear his breath speeding up suddenly. I run my free hand down the length of his tail, still grooming it carefully while kneeling on top of him, and spend a little extra time giving some special care at the very tip of his tail. 

He starts to move his body underneath me, pushing my hips up a little higher so my weight is pressing down on his, and I hear him gasping for breath. 

I glance up at his face—and his eyes are closed—under the moon—his hair spilled over his shoulders, his arms restrained overhead, occasionally he pulls against the restraints with a soft sigh. Keeping my hand moving on the base of his tail, my tongue wrapped around the wet fur in my mouth, I lower my face to his belly and groom that gorgeous white fur right underneath his belly. 

A really loud sound comes out of the cat underneath me, and he starts to shiver and shake, and then he suddenly relaxes. He opened his eyes for just a moment—to watch me, I think—and I’m now relaxing my rather worked-up self on top of his incredibly relaxed body.

That was a rather amazing sight to see: such a powerful cat, submitting himself to me like that. I have chills running down my spine.

I look around the room for a towel, then remember I still need to release his wrists from the restraints. The moment the first restraint is off, I’m attacked—my ears are licked, my mouth is kissed—but tenderly.

“Do you want me to take off the other one or not?” I murmur.

“Oh—sorry,” he allows me to remove the other belt from his wrist and then he pulls me in close.

“So—did you like it?” I ask, as he pulls my back against his chest.

“Hmm. Did I _like_ it?” Rai asks playfully. “I may have to try it again to know for sure. But how are you not completely exhausted?”

I do feel tired. In fact, resting like this feels _amazing_. I am exhausted.

“You sang again! That can’t be good for you!”

“Oh—I just had something I wanted to tell you,” I say shyly. “That was the best way to do it.”

“Well, why don’t you rest a little?” 

“Okay.”

“You can spend the night, if you want,” Rai whispers. “I’ll be good.”

That is what I’m afraid of, to be honest.

I feel him chuckling behind me. “I can feel your body getting all stiff. Was that in response to my comment that I'll be good? Or, do you need some care?” 

“Uwaa! No—no, I’m fine,” I insist, “I’m just enjoying being close to you.”

“I could try restraining you, if you want...” I feel his hands reaching out for my wrists.

Despite the shiver that goes through me, I decline. “Maybe next time. I should rest. You should rest, too.”

“That was fun, Konoe.” I sense some movement behind me on the bed, and my shirt is pulled off. “But this is in my way. _My_ bed, _my_ rules. These, too.”

My pants are pulled off and cast carelessly to the floor. At least it’s a clean floor. I feel my body pulled up against a nice warm body—now touching _way_ more skin than I ever remember touching before. I casually run my hand through the silver hair covering my shoulder.

His breathing is soft, but deep. I wonder—is he already asleep? He says he doesn’t sleep well around others. I run my hand along his neck, shoulder, side, waist, hip, and thigh—and I feel his tail covering my belly like a blanket.

_Wait a second._

His hip? Why can I feel the skin on his waist and hip?

I sit up just a little—pushing my weight on my arms—it’s all I can do—and I realize three things.

First, Rai is indeed sound asleep. How cute!

Second, he is _completely_ naked. I can tell because I see the pale skin of his hip peeking out from under his hair. I’m mostly naked—just in my underwear at this point. 

Third, he is even _more_ gorgeous than I have imagined, sleeping like this, under the light of the moon.

I turn myself around heavily and sleep facing him, curled up on his chest. If he’s comfortable with his body, why should _I_ be uncomfortable?

Except... he’s so gorgeous. I don't think I can sleep like this. My heart is pounding in my ears. He murmurs quietly, running his hands through my hair, and pulls me a little closer. It makes me feel all warm. No. Not warm. Excessively hot. This is crazy!

I can't sleep here. I can't do this. I may do something bad to him while he is sleeping. How did he ever manage to get me home while I was sleeping? He really must have good self-control. What the hell is wrong with me?

I just need to rest for a little while, get my strength back, and then I need to go home. I need to go back to my own bed. I won't be able to sleep here.

I lay my head down against his chest and bury my nose in his hair. I close my eyes for just a minute. I feel his hands on me, holding me gently. His chest rises up and down so slowly, and his heart is so solid and slow. It sounds nice. I just listen to it for a while. I'll just rest for a minute.

Before I know what happened, I drift off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So wow--that was chapter 10!
> 
> I'll be starting part 2 next. :) Thanks for reading so far. I'm really having fun with this series.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Fluffy, Fluffy Tails - a collection](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16172216) by [SonicoSenpai](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SonicoSenpai/pseuds/SonicoSenpai)




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